Sugar and spice and all things nice, or so the rhyme went.
Lexie had always thought of herself as sugar - and nice - but not so much of the spice. But now her perception was changing.
Lexie was a grad student and what you might call inexperienced sexually. There had been a few encounters, but nothing really memorable. There was Mike, the guy she dated while still at school. They had 'gone out' with each other on and off for more than a year. He was unreliable in the extreme. He had never called her when he said he would, frequently let her down, but on the other hand he had bought a rust bucket of a car simply so he could see her more often.
Lexie always thought of Mike with fondness, despite how he had treated her.
She was a virgin when they met, but had been well educated about the ways of sex through teenage magazines and graphic schoolgirl gossip.
But what Mike had done was...unforgivable really.
She had held him off for a long time until one Friday evening he invited her around to his parents' home. He was a few years younger than her but still living with his mum and dad. Lexie had an idea of what might be in store when he called - after all, she already knew his parents were going to be out for the night.
Lexie had asked her father for a lift to the house a few miles away. When she arrived, Mike was waiting for her and could hardly wait to get her upstairs. In his bedroom, they had indulged in their usual routine of heavy petting. Again, he begged her to suck his cock but Lexie said she couldn't. In reality, she wanted to. But she felt overwhelmingly terrified of the prospect.
She may have been educated, but she didn't actually know what to do. And the terminology had always confused her: it was called a blow job but, from what she could gather, you didn't blow at all. Rather, you were supposed to suck.
Mike, despite being knocked back, didn't seem perturbed. He knew he wanted the real prize and he was going to get it.
Looking back, Lexie remembered feebly saying 'No' to Mike a couple of times. But the overriding memory of the encounter was the pain and boredom. Pain when he had first pushed his cock into her virgin pussy, and then boredom when he had continued to pump, pump, pump away on top of her. She had looked around his dingy room and eventually noticed the boys' 'Playboy' duvet she was lying on.
Afterwards, Lexie had felt let down. Sex was not what she imagined it would be, was not all she dreamt about. But she did feel a connection with Mike. Now she had shown him how much she liked him and she was sure his unreliability would fly out of the window.
She couldn't have been more wrong. Three days later, Mike had driven to her home in his rust bucket of a car and told her it was over - this time for good.
Lexie had been crushed. And she realised she must be useless in bed for him to break it off so soon. He didn't even give her a second chance! The fact she had been thoroughly unfulfilled was forgotten, for now she knew she was a letdown in the bedroom department. She vowed never to give her heart again.
That had formed the pattern of things to come.
Lexie had formed a few attachments since, but sex had always been a sticking point. She didn't enjoy it, dreaded it even. And the fact she knew she was useless did not help her to feel at ease or natural about what should have been the most natural of acts.
But now, that was starting to change.
Lexie had survived university without having her heart broken again. And now she was training to be an actor. It was an unusual choice of vocation for someone like her - she was quiet and shy - definitely not your average drama student. But it was something she desperately wanted to excel at, so every day went to drama school and fought the urge to cry in the changing rooms. Instead, she poured her emotions into her studies.
So far, she had received good praise from her tutors, but they all felt there was something missing in her performances. Despite her efforts to portray her emotions, they seemed to fall flat. Lexie worried her vow to never let her heart get broken had made her unable to feel again.
After classes, Lexie always hurried home to work on her art. She knew if she worked that bit harder everything would come right and then success, surely, would come her way. She didn't join in with the legendary piss ups the rest of her classmates indulged in. She knew they thought she was a little strange but Lexie ignored all that - she was just focussed. And now she had a huge reason to be focussed: she had been cast in the leading role in the end of term play. Lexie's character was supposed to fall in love with an inappropriate man. They were supposed to be passionate, star-crossed lovers in the vein of Romeo and Juliet. So Lexie knew she would need every ounce of herself if she were to make it believable.
Back at drama school, there were reading through the play early in rehearsals. The leading man was odious. Lexie liked him even less than everyone on the course and she was convinced he was the ringleader in talking about her 'oddity' behind her back. But, she was a professional and promised within to put her feelings aside and make the best of a bad situation.
Unfortunately, it was all too clear to the course tutor Greg that this casting would be a struggle. He thought the leading man was not too bad, but Lexie was painfully short of the mark. He couldn't put his finger on it, but she seemed like a shell. He knew he would have his work cut out.
At the end of the read through, Lexie was shocked when Greg asked her to stay behind. And what he said shocked her even more. He thought she needed extra tuition. All her extra work was for nothing - she realised she must be truly terrible for him to insist she stay behind in the rehearsal room.
Despite being thrown by Greg's request for to put in yet more hours, Lexie was determined to drink from his knowledge, his experience, and improve her performance.