I recommend you read parts 1 and 2 first (though this section is much hotter!) to find something out about these people. In Part 1, I met a lovely woman in the sauna of a ski resort and one thing led to another in an exciting way. In Part 2, I found her involved with another man, who I didn't much like and who, you could say, got his comeuppance. Everyone in this story whether in the present or in the past is and was 18 or older.
Anyway, later that day...
I couldn't believe it. He was in full bravado, bragging to the room mode, reinventing history as fast as he could. I'd walked into the bar half full of the après-ski crowd and the golden-haired god (with the locks now predictably held back in a pony tail) was with what I guessed were his friends, a dark haired guy with a triangular torso who either went to the gym too much, or took steroids, and a fantastic looking girl with long dark hair, low cut jeans and some kind of top which revealed a soft cleavage while the bottom stood out inches from her smooth flat belly, miles above the line of the jeans and presumably held up solely through the swell of breast power. Her face was unrevealing and calm, either from work as a model or from hiding her feelings and staying neutral through many similar bullshit tales.
The sauna god of the marble buttocks saw me and hailed me. He was pretty horribly drunk.
'Hey bro'! Awesome right? She blow you too? I tole' Chip, this is Chip, say hi Chip, my dick was practically in her guts, bro. I practically came out of her ass.'
I had just a tiny bit of sympathy for him, as somewhere in the back of his little lizard brain there was some ganglion wondering how he had been so turned on by having a finger up his ass, and another part going out of its tiny mind fearing that he might be gay. It would seriously bother a guy like this. Yes, a tiny bit of sympathy - not much.
'So, did she blow you too bro? Or did you bang her, man? She blew you right? You don't want to bang a skank like that. You didn't bang her did you man?'
I looked at him sorrowfully and wondered about the best response - walk away? Or stick to the truth and see what happened?
'No, in fact, she asked me to piss on her.'
The two of them and the girl stopped in their tracks, practically sobering up on the spot, then, guessing I must just have the weirdest sense of humour, they burst into howls of laughter.
'You pissed on her man. That's so great. That's awesome. I oughta seen that. I'd loved to seen that. She's such a dog. You really pissed on her?'
'Certainly not. I'm a gentleman. We hadn't even been introduced'
All sort of true.
'So what happened, bro?'
'Oh, nothing to write home about. Bro.'
'Better luck next time. Tell you what. Get there first, hey? Who wants sloppy seconds anyhow? Lemme buy you a drink'
I waved my hand dismissively to make him feel the crowning moment of action was all his and I couldn't possibly compete. There was slapping on the shoulders and more hooting but the girl just looked at me with her calm face giving nothing away.
Then she lifted her beer bottle to her mouth, gripped in in her teeth and raised the whole thing up and gulped and I could see the movement in her pale throat as the liquid went down. She took the bottle out of her mouth with an audible pop and held my gaze with a hint of defiance. What the hell did that mean?
'That's disgusting, Bo,' said Chip, the boyfriend lunk.
The sauna guy handed me the beer I didn't much want, but it was cold and quenching and I felt it go straight to my head. I drank half of it with them to be polite, but they sensed I wasn't a natural ally in any of their nonsense and so I took out my phone as if it had just buzzed in my pocket and waved vaguely to suggest: 'thanks for the drink/gotta take this/bye/see you later/just going outside for a minute/excuse me', and I took the bottle out onto the dark wooden deck. The night was dark, no moon, cold and still. Stars shone overhead, remote and uncaring for the animal behaviours of humans and probably not directing our destinies at all.
After a minute or two, I sensed a presence beside me. The girl had come out, woefully underdressed, but with a thick down hooded coat on top. She sat beside me as if we were well acquainted.
'Hello.'
'Hi.'
'Cold out here.'
She shrugged.
'Is either of those your boyfriend?'
'Chip. Real name Jon. Sometimes.'
'With the muscles and the dark hair.'
'Yes.'
'Not...'
'Merrick!? God no. Such an asshole.'
I wondered if Merrrick knew that Merrick was the Elephant Man's real name, or if that was part of his problem.
'So, hello, I'm Bo by the way.'
'Short for?'
'Short for nothing. Fuck you!'
'Sorry. Bo it is. Like Beau?'
She looked confused.
'Never mind. I am, er, Scipio, me.'
'Scipio? Seriously? And you had a problem with Bo?!'
'TouchΓ©. Tell me, does Merrick have a girlfriend too?'
'Well he gets girlfriends. You know, because.'
'Because he's so pretty.'
'But they don't stick around for long. It's not you know, much fun being Merrick's girlfriend.'
'Maybe they should try sticking their fingers up his ass.'
She gave me the blank face again and I guessed this was the expression she used for entering difficult and unpredictable situations, inoffensive, non-judging, to see what happens next. This time she obviously felt she had to break the silence.
'That's a really odd thing to say. And that's the second really odd thing you've said.'
'What was the first?'
'You know when you said you, you know, on that girl.'
'Ah.'
And the stare again, but this time she couldn't hold back an incredulous grin and it was lovely to see her eyes light up with mischief.
'You did, didn't you? You really did.'
'A gentleman would never say.'
She punched me on the arm.
'Bullshit. Gentleman. You're saying you never talked about your conquests in the pub?
'Well, when I lost my virginity I might have discussed it with one two close friends.'