Static In My Head

Aaron and I met on a cool November night outside Georgetown, in front of one of the water fountains in the old part of town. We had talked online the night before, sharing private information regarding our likes, dislikes, past history, the usual. The instant message turned into over five hours of conversation. He was funny, smart, interesting, wild, and unique, you name it.

When we were to meet, I arrived at the fountain and waited, alone, for a few minutes. I was anxious and very afraid. This was the first time I had met a man from off the Internet. A stray dog was my only companion for minutes. Suddenly, a voice shouted through the darkness, "Hey Dummy!" I looked up and saw 2 hooded figures sauntering toward me. Immediately, I became guarded, ready to bolt at the first sign of weirdness. The two men walked up and the one that yelled, said, "You went to the wrong fountain dummy!" Apparently, there are two fountains in town. Who would have known? I realized that it was Aaron and immediately, my fear melted. He introduced me to his friend, Ricky, and he walked us to my car. I drove to the top of the hill, dropped Aaron's friend off at his car, and our date began.

We decided to go eat at a little Italian restaurant and then see a movie at the cinema down the street. The food ended up being terrible but we survived with obscure conversations about my homosexual friend, my family, his navy career and life in New Jersey, which he had just relocated from to Georgetown. It was a warm night but he wore a trench coat and a toboggan, the ultimate Jersey boy look so I was informed. His goatee and hair were perfect, his hands and nails were immaculate, and overall, he was the hottest man I had ever met. Our chemistry was immediate. When we left the restaurant, I felt the urge to kiss him right there, to test the chemistry right out but resisted the urge for the right timing. When we arrived at the theater, we decided the only movie worth watching was the Harry Potter movie, which had came out at the beginning of the week. I think we were the only adults in the theater.

I have the habit of biting my fingernails when I'm nervous, and to be totally honest, I couldn't have been more nervous if I was standing trial for murder or whatnot. He grabbed my hand from my mouth and held it for the rest of the movie. I took that as a sign so I adjusted myself to where I was more comfortable. Casually, I swept my leg up over his and let him make the assumptions from then on. And did he ever make an assumption. I'm very glad no kids set next to us. Ever so slowly, he inched his free hand closer and closer to the crotch of my pants. Finally there, he expertly teased me over my jeans for the duration of the movie, which I didn't see much of in the end. After a few minutes, I decided that all was fair in love and war so I reciprocated the pleasure. Slowly, I worked my way to his crotch and began to massage his member until I felt him bulge under my hands. All too soon, the movie was over and the house lights were coming up.

We looked at each other with coy smiles and stood up to leave. Checking out his crotch, I couldn't help but laugh at the sight of his obvious erection. He realized what was so funny and quickly closed his trench coat. It's a good thing he had that with him! When we got to the car, it was very cold. We got in and I informed him that we'd have to let the car warm up or it might die on the way back to his apartment. He smiled and said "Good." Not even a second later, his lips were pressed to mine in the most romantic, sexual kiss I have ever had to pleasure to enjoy.

At that point, I decided he was definitely a professional at this game. When we parted, my breath was gone and static had started to pulse in my head. He smiled and I pulled him in again by his collar. "I want more," I whispered in his ear as we parted the second time. He nodded and smiled once more, a smile that I always see in my dreams. I couldn't drive the couple miles to his apartment fast enough as far as I was concerned. I wanted him. I needed him! I couldn't take it. When we got to his apartment, he had to unlock two doors and it felt like eternity before we finally made it inside.

I walked into his sparsely furnished apartment and watched him as he shut the door. Again, as he walked across the room, I watched him, as a cat watches her prey. He knew I watched him, and he liked it. Leading toward the bedroom, he flipped on the light and showed me his room. There was a mattress, lying on the floor, and his entire luggage of clothes stacked in a neat pile on the other side of the room. A small table stood at the end of the mattress and that was it. The light was dim enough to be sexy so I turned to give him a coy smile. He watched me look at him for a moment and then leaned in to kiss me. It was as if the Heavens parted and a miracle was performed when he kissed me. Truly, he was an angel or maybe a saint. Surely he was supernatural because he consumed me. Slowly, we stripped each other to the flesh.

First, I peeled off his shirt and ran my nails lightly over his smooth, shaved chest. Then, I pulled away from his kiss and slowly kissed my way from his neck to his throat. Inch by inch, I kissed and bit my way down his chest, licking each nipple in turn and then traveling to his navel. At the same time, his kisses on my neck and throat lit my body on fire. When I reached his pants, he pulled me back to him and pulled off my shirt. I raised my arms and let him pull it off. Softly, he kissed the inside of my breast, the spot of cleavage that showed through my v-neck all through dinner and the movie. Reaching behind me, he unclasped my black lace bra and I let it fall to the floor. "Wow," he mumbled as he cupped my breast in his hands.

I laughed nervously. "Everyone's always told me more than a handful is a waste," I managed to say.

As he kissed his way over each breast and nipple, biting and sucking and biting again, he mumbled, "No way." Our conversation ended there for the time being. I unbuttoned my jeans and slid them down to my knees, not wanting to move and pull away from his mouth on my nipples. He pulled away anyways and pushed my jeans to the floor. He smiled approvingly at my purple thong and pulled it down to expose my womanhood. In turn, he unbuttoned his jeans and removed them as well. He left his boxers on for the moment, I slid out of my socks and was entirely naked, and entirely his for the taking.

Moving to the mattress, kissing once more, he laid me down gently. His hands roamed all over my body, causing me to tremble and shake involuntarily. When he reached my sex, he slowly ran his fingers around the outside of my lips, just as he had done in the theater. I closed my eyes and tried to control my breathing. He opened my wet lips and stroked my inside with powerful strokes that nearly sent me to the edge. All too soon, he stopped to return to kissing me. As he pulled his self on top of me, I felt his erect member through his boxers. I remember thinking it was the most erotic feeling I had ever felt.

He resumed his passionate kissing and massaging of my breast. I wanted him more than ever. I grabbed his cock through his boxers and gently massaged it. Up and down, I rubbed vigorously. Finally, he removed the boxers and I took his cock in my hand again. This time, I could feel the precum on the tip and used it to wet the sensitive tip. I pushed him so that he saw I wanted him to lie on the bed. When he did, I slid down his body and took control. I squeezed his cock and pumped it while he lay back to enjoy for a while. I quickly decided to go for a great first impression. I leaned over him and firmly held his cock. Then, sensually, began to lick the tip. I licked the whole pole and the balls. When it was all wet, I blew on it lightly. He moaned at the cold sensation. Finally, I stuck the whole thing in my mouth, clear to the abdomen. I heard him sigh as I sucked and sucked. Watching him, I learned within seconds what he liked and what he didn't like.

Suddenly, he grabbed my head and pulled me to his mouth for a deep kiss. He flipped me over and without warning, spread my legs, and entered. The pain I felt was nothing to the euphoria I received for the rest of the ride. The man was a bucking bronco with the stamina of the energizer bunny. We pumped harder and harder until spots formed in front of my eyes. I cried when I orgasmed, and he wasn't even finished. We kept going for another 20 minutes in which I came again, just as powerful as the first. We lay there, sweaty and tired and content, wrapped in each other's arms. The room had the powerful smell of sex and I bet the neighbors thought someone was dying when I cried out. Aaron amazed me.

Later, we shared a shower where he lathered me and washed my hair and did all the things that I could never fathom someone else doing for me. I went back to him almost every night and stayed the night almost every time. I couldn't get enough of him. We had fun, played around. I tried to get him to play board games but the were no fun with just two people. We cooked and went to the grocery store. My thoughts continually revolved around Aaron.

The second night, Aaron confided in me that he had been in jail for some time and that he was married but in the process of getting a divorce. He told me he never wanted to get attached to another woman because he got hurt too easily. I was upset at the fact that he was married but I let it go. I confided in him about my difficult childhood and dismal past boyfriends. And I silently hoped he would change his mind about not wanting to get attached to another woman because after just one night, I was hooked on the man.

Days went by and then weeks. He still couldn't get his company off the ground, wasn't making an income, and was getting frustrated. Mid December, he called and told me he couldn't take it any longer. He was sorry but he had to move back to New Jersey. I drove to his apartment and cried the whole way there. I didn't want him to leave me. And that was the only way I saw it. He wasn't leaving a business adventure; he was leaving ME. I didn't know it then but the pain in my chest was my heart breaking. We said our goodbyes and I tried my hardest not to cry in front of him. I broke down right before he went inside and he couldn't take it.

He hugged me tight one last time and bolted inside. He watched me from the window as I drove away. I stared at my rearview mirror as long as possible to see if he ran after my car, to stop me, to tell me he made a mistake or was only joking, that he was staying. He didn't run after my car. I cried the whole way home, cried myself to sleep that night, and cried for weeks after.

I still cry from time to time. It hurts just as much now as it did then. Only now, the pain is a dull stab instead because I'm used to the feeling. The static in my head grows and dies, depending on the day. Sometimes I think it might take over my brain and then move on to take over my soul. Aaron has talked to me a couple times since then, just enough to string me along. I miss him more with each day. Even now, I am teary eyed and lonely. I've finally moved away from the area, hoping to put to rest the demons in my head and heart but so far, it isn't working. I wonder if the static is in his head too. I wonder if he feels a piece of him is missing since he left Georgetown. I know a piece of me has gone for good. That part might just be my sanity.

If he ever comes back to my life, my brain tells me not to let him back in because he'll only leave again. But my heart says, "So what? That's just one more memory that you have of him. " If he ever comes back to me, I'll love him as much then as I do now, if not more. I miss him. I want him. I need him. I guess that's the way it has to work. I don't know why we can't be together. Maybe he really was an angel and he was called back to the Heavens. Whatever, the fact is, I love him with all my heart and everyday, another piece of that heart dies because it breaks. How long do I have before I have no heart left to give? How long do I have to wait for my soul mate to love me back? How long...