Guilt and Pleasure
"So, I'll be back at 5 this arvo, don't forget we have that hang out with Rhys tonight"
"I won't, have a good day at work and be safe driving"
"I will, love you baby"
"I love you too".
I leaned in and grabbed the back of his neck pulling him in for a peck on the lips.
I waited at the door to our apartment until I saw him vanish off around the 3rd floor, his eyes locked with mine until they became obstructed. The last thing he did was shine me a beautiful smile, the smile he reserved only for me.
I smiled the whole time watching him leave, but the moment I heard the door at the bottom of the apartments slam shut and the car pull out, I could feel my smile fade, replaced with an eager biting of my lip. Guilt and need began their usual tug of war at my body.
"No, I shouldn't do this" I argued with myself, the same way I always did "This is wrong, what about Max" again I would try in vain, although I knew the arguing with myself was merely to assuage my guilt, I was a cake eater, readily addicted. I already had the phone in my hand using my thumbs to type away. This was the usual routine between me and my boyfriend of 5 years, Max would leave for work after this, as he always did, and I would go back to bed and try to sleep until a decent hour, but in the last 3 weeks I had changed, we had changed. I would get on the phone and text our close friend Rhys, Max wouldn't admit it but Rhys was probably his only friend, or so he thinks. He probably wouldn't see him as his friend if he knew what Rhys had done, what he had been doing, what he had made me.
It was an accident, a stupid bet that I stubbornly agreed to and now we're here.
"I'll be over soon, what time does he finish" the text came back illuminating the screen of my phone and giving me that sick gut feeling or naughty anticipation.
"5 o'clock same as always" I confirmed, Max would let me know if there was a change of plans, his love and trust for me being used in turn against him. Already my breath was rigid, as it always was when I text him and I could feel that deep hole in my stomach, excitement and eagerness intertwined.
Max leaves for work at 5am and doesn't come back from work till 5pm and I unfortunately haven't been lucky in the ways of finding work after high school, so I had 12 hours alone, so did Rhys, as he worked remotely from his computer thanks to his father landing him a job at the same tech company. To be frank my efforts to find a job completely stopped 3 weeks ago, finding better...jobs, in the comfort of my own home.
I had text Rhys three weeks straight every day since the bet we had made, just like Rhys knew I would, whenever my boyfriend was at work, and when Max wasn't working or Rhys just needed some quick fun, I would go on a "run". Max would offer to join but I would always knock him back saying I needed "me time" I couldn't be honest and tell him "Me and Rhys time".
I had known Max for 11 years, we went to high school together and were friends since year 7; the first day of high school, I was scared and barely spoke, but he complimented me in front of everyone, he was so sweet and funny and always knew how to cheer me up, especially when he knew I was having a hard time with my parents or one of my boyfriends, I would occasionally sleep at his place just to get away from them, even though he had little and wasn't to popular he was always a hero for me and everyone else who needed him. My partners or parents both didn't like that I stayed over at his at the time and sometimes I wondered if I had put undue pressure on his dad, the parent he chose to live with, but he always told me I was his daughter in law to be.
After graduating high school, he asked me out, it was amazing, I had loved Max for God knows how many years, through countless relationships I harboured my feelings for him, and now we were together without the dramas of high school, or so I thought.
"Do you ever feel guilty?" I choked out quietly, as if the saying them would make me feel any better, my head laid in the crook of Rhys's arm watching as his chest inflated and compressed with every breath he took, his caramel skin slick with just the right amount of sweat for the absolute madness he had just committed on me.
"I want to... but no..." he replied kissing the top of my head softly, the same way Max would after we had made love, and I felt sick, but his words gave me flutters, then guilt, then flutters again; we should feel guilty, what we were doing was wrong to poor Max, to my partner, my best friend, my boyfriend, he went and worked hard all day... while Rhys and I "worked hard" all day.
Everything was fine until we met Rhys, we were out one evening for our anniversary of being a couple, 4 years together in collaboration with his birthday, we decided to go bowling but none of Max's "friends" showed up.
The Meeting:
"I tell you all the time your friends are shit!" I spat venomously, folding my arms petulantly so he knew I was cross. He was behind my chair, looking at the row of bowling balls to choose from.
"I know but I've known them since high school" he replied over his shoulder.
"Yeah, and every time they have something on or need you, you show up, but when it's an event for you there's always something else happening, you surround yourself with shit people" I finished in a mutter, pouting and looking away.
Max placed his hand under my chi and leant my head back so I was facing up to him.
Max was about 6.2ft and quite built, though it was more genetics than it was gym time and dieting. He had innocent blue eyes, the shallows of the ocean, he had a star belt of dusted barely visible freckles that you could only see close up. His hair was sandy blonde and scruffy and hung down toward his eyes. His smile could light up a room, but when you got to know him, you could see the sadness of all the miserable things that had bestowed on him twinkle behind the façade, daring to burst through. Max had lost his older brother when they were younger... his friends...well need I say more than the aforementioned. He grew up substantially poorer than most in our area and both his parents had split due to his brother's loss. I knew it still ate him up that he wasn't enough to keep them together and blamed himself, but through all this Max was a good and kind soul, caring and never wanting others to feel sad. He was a workhorse putting in hours and forgoing things like parties or outings to ensure in high school his dad wasn't struggling and once we finished that we lived well and didn't struggle to pay bills.
Myself stood just 5.6ft and had green eyes and dyed red hair, my natural being brunette, so my hair and eyebrows contrasted, I'd like to say I was decently proportioned with just the right amount of curves, I had decent C cup that always seemed to make Max happy however I was always very self-conscious of them due to bullying in high school.
"I don't surround myself with shit people...What about you?" he asked rhetorically, "you're the best thing that ever happened to me" he explained, placing his lips to mine and massaging my tongue with his.
We were getting so into it I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him in tighter. Almost pulling him over the backrest of the couch I sat on.
"Whoa whoa whoa there you two, you know you can order food from the counter, right?" laughed a deep voice just to our left.
Me and Max unhooked lips and looked over to see a rather tall guy with a latte shade skin colour about our age, a little tanner than Max, his jaw was chiseled and muscular with high cheek bones. He had a nice dress shirt on and black jeans, two piercings in each ear, the left 2 golden rings and the right two very plain studs, and his right eyebrow had been shaved with 2 lines through it. He had a nice well managed beard that led to smooth curls and deep greenish-brown eyes that matched his complexion, his neck donned a tattoo either side, perpendicular to his collar bones, one was some sort of foreign character writing, the other, a dragon with a long-curved tail. Although his general outlook seemed rough, he had a very warm smile and his eyes were kind, albeit it intense.
"Excuse me?" I asked annoyed at his rudeness.
"Oh, I'm sorry I was just playing around, I was kind of eavesdropping" he gestured to the tables around him "My friends also had other plans, just so happen that those plans fall on my graduation ceremony day" he chuckled
Instantly I felt bad for my attitude "Well- "
"Well why don't we join up together?" interjected Max taking the words out of my mouth, he was always so kind and thoughtful of others. "Bowling is always better with more players"
"You don't mind? He asked pointing to one of the seats in our lane.
"Of course, not" welcomed Max.
Rhys joined us and when he stood up, he was about 6.3ft and built, he obviously hit the gym, and his shirt clung nicely to his body, not to tight but not loose and baggy either.
Max put his hand out and introduced himself and the two shook hands
"Rhys" introduced the guy
"This is my partner Sophia" he added pointing to me, and I smiled and waved
"Nice to make your acquaintance" I greeted.
I often wonder now, if Max knew exactly what he was inviting into our relationship that day. The BIG...problems that would follow.
We bowled all night; we had seven games and were on the final round of our eighth and truth to tell we were veryyyy buzzed.
Rhys and Max were tied with 3 wins and I had won only 1. They were very competitive. Dancing and mucking about each time either scored a strike as if they had been friends for years.
It was down to the last bowl and I was up first, bunkered it immediately, didn't matter though I was way too many points behind to make a comeback this late in the game.
Rhys was up next; his first bowl took out all but three pins. Two on the left and one on the right.
"Ah now you've done it" laughed Max at his predicament.
