TWENTY-FIVE
Sophia celebrated her 36
th
birthday something of a rejuvenated woman. They spent that weekend as a family with Sophia's parents in Devon, her mother now thankfully on the mend after her stroke. Chloe went riding on a Shetland pony, as she always liked to do when she got the chance, and spent every spare moment she could in the garden using the watercolour set that her grandparents had bought her. Ollie was in his element in the local lanes and fields, which he explored with his father and sometimes his grandfather, catching all manner of insects and bringing them home for classification, using the books that he found in the study, and, when that failed, the Internet.
Sophia talked with Peter about Veronique's visit and the closure she felt that it had brought. She was open to the idea of seeing her again in the future, but being with her and, even worse, the anticipation of being with her affected her viscerally in ways she couldn't explain or even really understand. Peter felt it was because she was a deeper person than, say, he was, which caused her to laugh and say that just about anybody was.
What he really felt but didn't want to say at this point was that she was possessed of a dark side, a depressive side, which needed managing. Winston Churchill, he had read recently, had called depression a black dog, and that seemed to sum it up very well for Peter, who had to live with someone who was afflicted by the condition. It was black because it made the person look at the negative side of things before they considered the positive, and it was a dog because it was so loyal, so faithful - always by your side.
Unlike his own, purer enjoyment of sex for sex's sake, he had come to appreciate that for his wife it was part of her need to be constantly affirmed. Yes, there were other elements: her immense competitiveness and her desire to dominate others - two ways of saying the same thing, he realised, as he reflected on it - and of course the enjoyment, but at heart what she was seeking in this domain as in every other was approbation. If only he could find a way to make her realise that she had no need to prove herself, to him or to anyone.
These reflections put him in mind of his wife's best friend Carrie, whose husband Gordon was a sometime golfing partner of his, although he had been playing less since suffering a disc injury a couple of years back. They must really have them over one evening. This was something that used to happen regularly in the days before the kids came along, but had become a rare event since then. He would suggest to Sophia an evening at home for just the four of them (perhaps Petsi could look after the children at Carrie's place). He could think of no better way to pep his wife up and give her something to look forward to among the daily grind of office work.
Unfortunately, things didn't work out as Peter had planned, Sophia becoming quite agitated when the suggestion was put to her. Peter put this down to her lingering embarrassment about the Gordon incident, but he knew better than to press her when she was feeling vulnerable. If she saw any merit in the idea, then she would come back to him in her own good time. And that is precisely what happened. One Saturday morning, when they were sitting chatting at the local ice rink, while Ollie and Chloe were having their lesson, Sophia apologised for being short with Peter before, explaining that she had had a particularly difficult time at work that day.
She would love to have them over and she would even be responsible for the cooking. She had read about this killer Brussels sprouts dish, and, since she knew sprouts were a particularly favourite of the couple, she would do this with some steaks and potato wedges. Nothing fancy, but she didn't need to go to great lengths to impress them, since they were their oldest and best friends. Peter said he'd do sticky toffee pudding for afters, which should have delighted Sophia - she knew that - but actually rather irritated her, since she felt it would get all the attention. Why is Peter always trying to steal my thunder, she thought - irrationally, maybe, but none the less powerfully for that.
So it was arranged that Carrie and Gordon would come over on Saturday 21 June - midsummer's day. Both Peter and Sophia got to work in the intervening weeks sprucing up the garden, Peter even hiring a roller to roll the lawn when it was dry enough to do so, as well as mowing it closely. He also attacked the nettles that were growing beside the shed near the river, clearing the area between the shed and the weeping willow. Sophia got busy weeding the flower beds and rewarded herself by buying some shrubs and rose bushes and bedding them in. Now, all that remained to do was to put their hands together and pray and that it wouldn't rain on the day, or indeed the days leading up to it.
Someone was obviously listening to them, as the whole of that week was dry and quite warm. When Carrie and Gordon arrived as arranged at five o'clock, the sun was shining down from a sky across which puffy clouds were scurrying busily, and the garden looked a picture. They sat outside and drank Pimm's with lemonade, to which Peter had added all the trimmings: slices of oranges, bananas and cucumber, as well as mint from the garden and plenty of ice. Carrie - a devotee of Asian cooking - had made some samosas and spring rolls, which Sophia supplemented with some lightly salted pistachio nuts.
The conversation ranged over the normal topics, from their children and families to their work, but Gordon soon ensured that it zeroed onto the au pair. Carrie, who was just as nosey about the helper as her husband was, chided him for bringing the matter up, but Peter was happy to talk about Petsi, describing her as terrific with the children, a good cook (he deliberately toned down his praise of her culinary skills so as not to upset Sophia) and a very bubbly presence around the place.
Gordon smiled and asked Sophia what she thought about the hired help.
'Oh, she's been an absolute godsend,' said Sophia. 'She's thoroughly dependable, she's smart and she knows when to use her own initiative.'
Gordon nodded and then added, channelling his inner Jim Broadbent and doing his hammiest Spanish accent in homage to the Black Adder episode
The Queen of Spain's Beard
, 'But what's she like...in bed?'
Carrie nudged him in the ribs, and Sophia didn't know where to look. It was left to Peter to save the day.
'Well, she's already seen off one boyfriend, so, I imagine, pretty demanding!'
The natural and non-defensive way in which Peter dealt with Gordon's outrageous question helped defuse the situation, which Carrie ostensibly appeared to further defuse by apologising on behalf of her husband, who
would
have his little jokes. Sophia wasn't convinced that they weren't working in tandem (soft cop, tough cop) - an impression that was strengthened when Gordon - utterly unfazed - made his next contribution.
'Come off it, Peter! You're not telling me that you haven't even thought of banging that babe?'
This time, there was no help from Carrie. Peter had to go it alone. While he was thinking of a suitable response (using hearty laughter as a tactic to buy him some time), Gordon was at it again.
'I mean, you must at least have knocked one out thinking about her?'
'It sounds as if
you
have managed
that
, Gordon,' said Peter, pleased to be able to deflect the focus onto his interlocutor.
'Oh, yes, many times. Carrie, you have as well, haven't you?'
Carrie, looking perfectly normal and behaving in an unflustered manner, nodded enthusiastically in agreement; in stark contrast to Sophia, who started to shift in her seat. For a moment, Peter thought she was going to say, 'Anyone for tennis?'
With Sophia discomfited beyond measure, Peter knew it was up to him to bear the brunt of the attack and to issue the appropriate salvos in response.
'I suppose that's the difference between having someone living under your roof and looking on from afar. For you guys, she's this unattainable goddess, whereas for us she's a part of the family, someone with her own human needs, and strengths and weaknesses.'