All characters are over the age of 18.
*****
"Sandious! Jabber-talking, slack-jawed, lemmings. The lot of you be silent!"
I sling a stone across the short distance at the queued retches. Standing on the ebony pier into the murk that is the river Styx, the gathered crowd of regret-squalling, tear-burbling, religious-postulating souls finally goes silent, when and only when my stone clips one of them in the head and he pitches into the river. Whatever lurks under those tepid waters, swirls up hungrily. I know not what it is, nor am I inclined to seek that answer. But it...or they, swarm over the fallen object lesson to my ire and frothy red the dark waters boil.
And of course, that starts the screaming again.
"Mordious. Pocapdedious!"
Leaping to my feet, I pull my rapier and stalk towards the huddle mass of the naked souls. I set the steel point into a half dozen posteriors, making them jump out my way, till I'm standing in the very middle of them.
"Listen to me, you retched bags of pus! I have had enough of your caterwauling about how this isn't the afterlife you were expecting. Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad news to the lot of you...fine, upstanding, not-doubt loved in life and missed in death...people. But...YOU! ARE! FUCKING! DEAD!"
Snarling, I run my rapier through one of them. Through her left tit! I don't do it to be cruel but just to be sure I have their attention. She falls screaming to the muddy ground, clutching at the bloody mammary. I lean down, and after a moment, smile at her.
"Hurt? Yes? Tell me, why aren't you dieing? I just drove two foot of steel through your nipple and then straight through your heart." I hold out my hand, and before she can stop me, catch her by the hair, and pull her to her feet. I use that tangle of golden locks to direct her. "See? You are all fucking dead. Cold-corpse dead! Your time to make decisions, to complain about the way that the world has done you poorly...is over! Now, I want you plebeians to stand over here quietly, till your slimy boat to the...afterlife...appears."
"Turn her lose."
With a grin, I look towards the voice. A man. A tall man, nicely formed. Dark of hair. A chest sculpted with a craftsman's level of precision, marred or enhanced by a trail of ebony hairs running down to a well-formed cock. He has about him the air of a man used to being the most dangerous person in a crowd.
"I said, turn her lose!" he demands.
"Oh, I heard you." With a grin, I send her spinning off the pier and into the Stygian waters.
"NO! Don't! Gagck!"
The point of my rapier went through the underside of his chin easily. Like a blade into water, it slid into his bared soul. When he opens his mouth to scream I see that I have penned his tongue to the roof of his mouth.
"Just because you can not die...does not mean I can not make you wish that you could." I look over my shoulder when I hear Charon's oar splash into the water at the end of the pier. The Ferryman is giving me a look of warning, I sneer in reply. Like the stick marionettes I played with as a child, I walk this fool I have impaled to his awaiting craft. "Here, I would hate for your to miss your chance at heaven."
Ripping free my sword, I spin him by his shoulder when he grabs at the wound. Planting my boot upon his arse, I send him a tumble into the rancid craft to land in a whimpering pile at Charon's feet.
With a smile, I bow to the Ferryman. Sending my rapier into its sheath, I walk back towards my tree stump. The other lost souls huddle away from me as I pass. They stand there looking at me, or at the boat, or at the red waters still churning under the quay
"Get the hell on the boat, or I will feed all of you simpering, pathetic, slugs to the thing in the river."
They scamper down the pier into the craft. Lemmings off the cliff just as I named them. They have no idea where the Ferryman is taking them, or what new horror they might have to endure...forever...when they get to that most final of destinations, but oh they will pile on to his craft. Pay his demanded coin, without question or comment, and ride out into those odoriferous mists. Trusting. Trusting that "God" will keep them safe. That they are "Saved" because they had water pissed on their heads. That their "Savior" has a "Plan" for them...
I spit in their direction.
Picking up my quill I sit down to write, what I was of a mind to pen down...before I was so crudely interrupted. I jab my wrist for ink and begin to write.
As you might guess, I was a young man when I had my first joust into the lists of love and lust. Twas a Welsh maid of my father estate, she who had the care of the linen washing, that took my male maidenhead. Oh, she was no great beauty; had tits like a pair of meal-sacks, and certainly, to judge by my later exploits, not skilled at all in the act of the fuck. But what did I know then of the Forbidden Subject. Nothing. I was so much an innocent youth. But a month was I returned from the school father sent me to for my education.
Hardly had my eyes seen, or my ears heard, and certainly my hands had not touched.
That day, at dawn, I took my paints and went to the small rivulet, that crossed the property on its way to the family's mill-run, with the hopes of making a naturalist painting of the local waterfowl. As I set up my small canvas and laid out my oils, I was interrupted in my preliminary sketching of a most handsome Red-breasted goose when I heard a woman singing. She approached the stream, with a large basket on her hip and before I could warn her off had quite frightened off my avian subject.
In a storm I went down there to give this bosomy maid a good-telling-off for disturbing my art, only to be greeted with laughter just moments into my diatribe. She, amid her laughter, began called me names that I did not like. English names.