This is a true story. Names have been changed to protect identities.
Kevin stared out the window at the falling snow. It always happened. He loved the snow, he loved the mood it put him in, he loved the romance of it. Yes, the romance. Snow took him back. At 52, he remembered past days and events as if they were yesterday. Snow seemed to be a part of the best times.
There were the walks he took with his high-school sweetheart, Kay. She was a sweetheart, too. There was never a sexual relationship, but he had deeply and permanently loved her. If it hadn't been for his own damnable insecurity that made him so afraid of losing her, he wouldn't have done just that. In college he turned into a complete jerk, jealous of the new friends she was making. He treated them and her rudely, and she was smart enough to finally tell him goodbye.
But before that, there were the walks. She only lived a couple blocks away, so they would go out at night, hand in hand, walking the streets of the neighborhood. Sometimes they would talk. Sometimes they would just listen to the scrunching sounds of the snow beneath their feet. If they stood still, they could hear the sounds of the snowflakes as they reached the ground.
How could she be so beautiful, bundled up so tightly so that her face was the only visible part of her body? But those delicate kisses to snow-chilled lips were some of the most precious in his memory. He missed Kay. He had missed her for thirty-three years. Whenever it snowed, he remembered the walks.
The snow continued to fall, and more memories arrived with the white snowflakes. Just as the pure flakes covered the dirt and the uneven ground until everything was a smooth field of white, the memories of years gone by were covered by the few special ones.
After Kay, for only a brief time was Louise. She was a short-lived excitement, but she was exciting. It was the night before graduation when they were in his dorm room. During previous necking sessions, Kevin had begun to slip his hands up under her shirt and caressing her back. The first time he reached her bra line, he stopped there. Over a few necking sessions he had moved past the bra, but his hands always stayed on her back.
This night went just a bit farther. They had been kissing for a long time, first sitting on his bed, then lying down together. At some point, Kevin had drifted off to sleep, his arm lying across her tummy. When he slowly awoke, he discovered to his shock that his hand was under her blouse, and resting on her bra-covered breast. His hand froze. There didn't seem to be any reaction from Louise. He didn't even know if she was awake.
Slowly he began to gently squeeze and knead her right breast. Oh, God, it felt so wrong! It felt so good! He used his thumb to rub the underside of her breast, pressing in and moving the thumb toward her nipple, then returning to the starting position. Over and over he felt her, and massaged her breast. He took a silent, deep breath, then moved his hand to her left breast, and began again. This time he began moving his thumb all the way to the nipple. He could feel it's hardness through the bra.
In the meantime, Kevin became pretty hard himself. This was a first. He had never touched a girl like this before. He was excited, but he was also afraid. He knew she was awake, but he wondered what was going on in her mind. Why was she letting him do this? She was a good girl, he was just amazed that she hadn't moved his hand away, at the very least.
Kevin smiled as he recalled his request to her that night that she remove her blouse and bra.
He half expected her to storm out of his dorm room, but Louise complied with his request, swiftly removing the clothes from her upper body, without a word. They held each other closely, and then Kevin pulled back a little so that he could touch the wonders of her body. Full, smooth breasts, soft and tender. Nipples aroused, he had never seen such delicious beauty. With the morning sun dawning, things went no further than continued necking with this half-naked Venus, but it was an amazing night as far as Kevin was concerned. What a way to conclude his college career.
Even though that was a June evening, in later years he tended to relate her to the snow as well. Although she had gently and lovingly ended the romance a couple months later, still she invited him to her home in upstate New York for Christmas, since he was so far from his own home. Riding the bus from Manhattan into the Finger Lakes region he gazed out the window and watched the snow fall. He fantasized about resuming the relationship where it had been left off, but it was not to be.
Nevertheless, life went on. Graduate school became the focus of Kevin's life, but it was difficult. Also, most of the women there did not seem to do much of anything for him. He probably didn't do anything much for them, either. He was hardly an Adonis. Average height, just an eighth inch under six-foot, average weight, not an athlete, he was hardly eye-candy. That same insecurity that had sabotaged his relationship with Kay kept him from being very adventurous, when it came to women.
As the snow continued to fall, Kevin moved forward in time to another snowy romance. He smiled, even as his eyes became a little watery with tears of fond memories and a lost love.
Graduate school was also expensive. He took two years off after his first year to earn money to go back. During those two years, he met Evelyn. Evelyn was 32 when they met, nine years his senior. They developed a friendship, and enjoyed talking for hours and hours. He got to know her family as well, and often baby-sat her elementary school-aged children.
Evelyn was pleasant in all ways. She was bright, personable, and had a attractive body. Despite having given birth to two children, she was pleasantly slender, with slightly widened hips. She was around 5' 2", in contrast to Kevin's nearly 6-foot frame. Her dark brunette hair probably gave him the passion he carried for brunettes to the present day.
The friendship developed over one and a half years. During that time, Kevin found himself thinking of her as something quite different from a friend. He found himself fantasizing about her in a way that was quite inappropriate, considering that she was married. Yet, more and more, as he brought himself to orgasm, she was the center of his thoughts. His sex life was an entirely solo affair, and she was the center of it. He imagined what she must look like, naked. It was all imagination, but Kevin had a well practiced imagination.
Finally he went back across the country to school. The friendship continued, over the phone. Outwardly, it all seemed so innocent, but Kevin knew that his thoughts about her were anything but innocent. He was very much in love with an impossibility. Three thousand miles away, married, two children, she was unattainable. Kevin resigned himself to settling for a friendship, when he wanted so much more. There were days when he masturbated five and six times, all the while thinking only of Evelyn, thinking of what he would like to do to her, what he would like her to do to him.
One evening in November, the phone in Kevin's dorm room rang.
"Hello?"
"Hi, Kevin! Guess what?"
"I haven't got a clue. What's up?
"I'm going to be in Massachusetts in December. What are the chances you can come up to see me?"
"Well, it depends on when you're there. I have classes through the fourth, and then a free week before exams."
