I was a pretty wild teenager, by the standards of my family and many of my friends. Although I attended a Catholic school, and made good grades, I drank beer, drag raced my car, and worked very hard at trying to have sex with every attractive girl I saw.
I was always told I was a good looking guy, with a pleasant personality and I guess it was true, because I could get a date with almost any girl I chose. It was during the actual date that the problems started. I always found interesting topics of conversation to discuss with the girl, usually discovered shared interests we could enjoy together, and by the end of the night had become pals. While I could count on one hand the girls I had French kissed, it would take a computer to record the ones who called me their "Big Brother" or best friend.
My friend Bill, laughed at me, because I dated pretty, intelligent girls, and remained a virgin, while he was dating, uh, let's say, more open and willing girls and having great success.
So I asked out one girl who had a reputation as a slut. The word on the street was that no guy had ever dated her and failed to score. We went to a drive in movie theater, where a Disney flick was showing. Before the credits had finished running, she was in my arms and I was kissing her. Her blouse was unbuttoned before the heroine even met a wicked witch, and her bra was off by the first bite of the apple. I was in heaven.
Then Wanda said something really clever about the movie, and that started us on a conversation about fairy tales and the motion picture industry. Damn, she was smart and witty, and I almost missed that part of her. We talked about her dreams and desires; I told her about my ambitions. As the heroine and the Prince began their presumed "happy ever after," Wanda was putting her bra back on, buttoning up her blouse, and saying "I never actually watched a movie all the way through before, except with my parents."
Yes, sure, we went to a well-known "lovers' lane" after the show, but by that time we were destined to be friends, The final nail in the coffin of my desire was when she smiled at me, as I was plotting how I could get her pants off, and said "You're the first boy I ever dated that didn't try to have sex with me." Shit, if I had tried any harder, I would have had a coronary!
Skipping ahead, here. No I never slept with Wanda, and five years later, she called me to tell me she was engaged. I said "Great, honey. Why did you call me?"
'Because, if you want me to, I'll break up with him. I've always loved you, you know."
Note to self: How did you miss that?
There were many others, beautiful girls, not-so beautiful girls. They all liked me. They kissed me; they invited me to the dance, and told me their troubles while crying on my shoulder. But there was one thing they didn't do -- unanimously. They did not have sex with me.
Then one night, my friend called and invited me to a party at his house. It was nothing special, just a few kids over to play board games, and they needed one more guy to even things up. I walked in the door and WHAM! No...just kidding...there was no WHAM. No fireworks, no bells and whistles, just a few pretty teenaged girls and some boys I mostly knew. There was one couple I had not met and while I thought she was the prettiest of the girls, I was a little intimidated by his size and demeanor.