Sorry, this chapter ran a bit longer then the previous two, but I think you will find it enjoyable reading.
Thanks to ZexWizzard for editing assistance.
Background: A few weeks ago Heather invited Calie to become a member of an off campus dating club. The girls fill out date cards where they select what nights they are available and what they would like to do (i.e. restaurant, dancing, party etc...). The boys select from the available date cards on the board and coordinate all the particulars of the date via email with the girl whose card they selected. With the completion of the first portion of the rendezvous they go back to his or her place to have some more intimate fun.
Heather saw her friend and fellow club member Calie in the cafeteria lunch line ahead of her. "Hey Calie, would you like to sit together?" Heather asked as she caught up to Calie.
"Yea, that'd be great," Calie replied.
They went through the line together, and selected their food, Calie from the salad bar and Heather from the oriental food station. They sat down in a booth together so they could talk in private.
"So, did you have a date over the weekend," Heather inquired?
"No," answered Calie, "I had two papers I had to write and a couple books I needed to read as well. How about you, were you dating?"
"No, I didn't either. Like you, I just had too much school work to catch up on. Are you going to the club meeting this weekend?"
"I suppose so." replied Calie.
"Well, that doesn't sound very enthusiastic. Is everything okay?"
"It's just that I've had to step up my effort in a few classes, and so far that seems to be paying off. As far as the club goes," Calie went on to explain, "the first couple of dates I had in the club were great, the second even more so, but my third date was just okay. My last one was kind of mediocre at best."
"I'm really sorry to hear that. Why do you think the dates didn't go so well?" Heather inquired.
"With one of the guys, John, I just didn't seem to hit it off with him." offered Calie, "The dinner conversation wasn't that good. He really seemed more interested in himself than getting to know me better. I guess physically he was really not my type and nothing I did seemed to be pleasing to him."
"Wow that date sounds like a bummer," Heather replied.
"The other date I had was with Andrew." said Calie, "We went to a dance together and we had a good time there, but afterwards when we went back to my room it was like I didn't know what to do. We just finally fumbled with each others clothes, had sex and he left. Maybe on my first two dates the boys were more experienced, but I really felt inadequate as a lover and unfulfilled emotionally by either date."
"Thanks for sharing that with me. I dated Andrew once too. He's a nice guy but when it comes to loving he's a lot more passive than most boys."
"Well, how do you deal with that or the situation I had with John, where he didn't seem to like anything I did for him?" Calie asked.
"Some of it just comes with experience." Heather explained, "If you were regularly dating either one of these guys you would know whether or not they were just having a bad day. Both of you would be more comfortable communicating with each other what your likes and dislikes were. Communication really is the key on these dates. You have a very limited time to get to know each other and create some chemistry before you find yourself back at your room where both of you were expecting to have the best two hours of your week. When you don't, it can really be aggravating."
"Well, how do I get better at this?" Calie asked, "Do I just keep going on club dates hoping it will eventually get better? Is there something I can read or is there someone who can teach me?"
"It's interesting you should mention teaching." Heather replied with a grin, "You're not the first club member to have some mediocre dating experiences. The personality conflicts that sometimes occur between members are probably inevitable and can occasionally happen to anyone on a date. The other issue of feeling inadequate as a lover or feeling that your date is not satisfying your needs is a problem that training can address."
Heather continued, "Last semester Chris and I were approached by Virginia, the club's sponsor. It seems that a number of club members had confided in her some of the same issues you've mentioned. Chris and I have both been in the club for a couple years. Virginia said that both of us had consistently won high marks from the other club members when they were asked to describe their best dating experiences in the club. Because of that, Virginia asked us if we could come up with a way to teach some of our 'secrets of success' to other club members who asked for help. Chris and I discussed it, and decided that the best way to teach someone how to be a better lover was to show them."
Calie intrigued asked, "How did you go about 'showing' them?"
Heather explained, "To begin with, Virginia gave us the name of one guy and one gal that had come to her. Chris and I arranged a dinner date for the four of us, and then we all went over to Virginia's house where the club holds its meetings and had a training session there. Chris and I shared and demonstrated some of our experiences and ideas and we worked with them as a couple, and did some, well, role playing."
"Well, how did it go?" asked Calie, intrigued.
"In the beginning it felt a little strange being naked in front of three other people, while explaining at the same time how to be a better lover," Heather answered, "But, after a little while, I really got into it. It was a good learning experience for me too and when Virginia talked to the two students a month later, they both said the training class had made a big difference in the quality of their dates. Chris and I have taught the class three times together and I've taught it one other time with a different guy."