Saras Letter

Simon,

I remember in the early stages of our relationship, a feeling of almost overwhelming shyness. A shyness about my body, a shyness of expressing myself verbally, a shyness of expressing myself physically. Equally, I was shy about expressing how much I desired you and wanted to reach out to touch you and explore your body. I hadn't learned yet how to stand entirely as myself.

I remember losing my voice when you asked me questions, especially if that question was sexual. You would weave beautiful erotic fantasies and I would lay with my eyes closed feeling exhilarated and turned on. But as soon as you asked me to join in, I would shut down quickly and apologise for not being able to join you in the story telling.

But times change and I have changed. I will never go back to being overwhelmingly shy. I am more myself than I have ever been. (Though I am sure you will make me blush on a regular basis for the rest of our lives!)

I remember a message I sent to you one morning while I was on the 06.27 train going to work that explained something about you that was important to me. It was to do with your confidence and how.....

give me a minute......

let me find the message...

06.31 Wednesday 31st January

"The first night we were together, you had stood and moved away from the bed. I stretched out and closed my eyes thinking you were doing something else (finding your t-shirt, going to the bathroom, I didn't know, just something). When I opened my eyes, you were looking at me and stroking yourself. My immediate reaction was to feel shy, but I let myself relax. When you stand in front of me like that, you are so confident, it gives me the space to look at your body, look at your face, look at how you touch yourself. It is incredibly sexy.

The luxury of being able to take you all in. That turns into confidence in myself, I can begin to be braver, move my body more, touch myself in front of you.

If you are confident then I can be confident too. It turns me on to know that I can relish your body, explore you and that you tell me how you feel. XXX"

That seems a long time ago now, but if I wrote the message today, it would be the same. Your confidence has transformed me. I am a sensory creature. My thoughts and fantasies do not run in a linear order. Instead, they form an abstract blend of visual, touch, and taste. Now my shyness has gone, I get to enjoy my senses more than I ever have, and I use them all to enjoy your beautiful body.

When you stand in front of me now, I have the freedom to stare at you.

I love looking at the long, long length of you. Your chest and arms are strong and sleek. Your nipples are small and firm and I know how they will feel under my fingers and tongue, but for now I just get to look. I love to look into your face and hold eye contact with you for a moment while you stare right back with an intent that sends shivers through my body. I try to move my eyes down to your legs because I love your thighs so much -- from our very first date, my hands have rested on your thighs, they have never left and never will. That makes me think of another message I sent to you early in our relationship, I will put it at the bottom of his letter for you.

However, back to my visual enjoyment of you.

I fail to move my eyes to your thighs because they are halted by the movement of your hand on your cock. You hold yourself firmly and move slowly, taking your time and staring at me. I love watching the way you touch yourself.

By this time, I am laid back on the bed, my clothes discarded, and my legs are open to invite you over to me.

The next sensation is that of touch. The feel of your body underneath the tips of my fingers. Using featherlight touches, I get to feel the textures of you the most intensely. I like you to lay back while I softly run my fingers across you. I start on your shoulders and down your chest. The sleek chest I was looking at moments ago is beneath my fingers and I have the sensation of your skin at my fingertips. I like to trail my finger along your collarbone, the one area of your body that feels delicate and contrasts with the strong frame of the rest of your body. (But then I have a bit of a thing for collarbones, I like the lines they create).

I trail my finger along your collarbone and down your arms. So far you are as sleek as an otter beneath my touch.

When I brush against your nipples, they become firm and there is a resulting moan from you.

As I move my fingers downwards, everything changes.

Your long sleek lines turn into thick muscles dense with hair as I get to your thighs. I like to pull you legs slightly apart and run my fingers up the inside of your thighs until I get to your cock. Now I get the most sensory changes over a smaller (or shall we say localised!) area of your body. I use the softest of touches to run my fingers along your shaft and you feel like velvet.

If I take you in my hand, then I feel how hard you are. I move my fingers up and there is a ridge, always so enticing to circle with my fingers before slipping them onto the head. There is a transition from velvet to silk and sometimes there is a trace of pre-cum that I run my finger through and feel the slip against the silk of your cock.

It is unlikely at this stage that I am happy with just my fingers. I want my lips on you and my tongue tasting you.

I like your neck. I like to run my hands around your neck and push my fingers through your hair. I also like to kiss you on the back of the neck when I am walking past you, I enjoy the feel of you against my lips. I want your lips on mine, pushing against me, opening, your tongue in my mouth. Tasting you. Standing on tiptoes so I can reach you.

I love the feel of your nipples in my mouth. I like to run my tongue in circles around you, to flick you with my tongue, to suck you into my mouth. I love your reaction to my tongue on you. How sometimes you push my head down, so I take you in my mouth and play with you. Then I can begin to kiss my way down your chest, across your stomach and I break away for a moment to move between your thighs. Then I get to feel where my fingers have just been. I run my tongue along the full length of you, feeling and tasting the velvet of your shaft. Then I can play for a moment with my tongue around the ridge before moving onto the silkiness of the tip of your cock. I like to linger for a minute enjoying the sensation and textures before wrapping my mouth around you and taking as much as I can of you into my mouth. I take you as deeply as I can but never get enough, I wish I could take more. I like to lick and suck and circle you with my tongue. I like to hold you in my hand and feel the hardness of you.

Sometimes I take my mouth away and just run my lips over the tip of your cock feeling the silkiness before sliding you back into my mouth. I want to feel you cum in my mouth again, or in my hand. I want to feel you getting tighter and harder, I want to hear your breathing change, I want to feel you start to twitch and then the heat of you as you flood into my mouth or over my hand.

I love everything I have turned into because of the way you stood quietly, calmly, and confidently while I found my feet. You let me come to you in my own way, you let me find myself. I am more connected to my body and sexuality than I have ever been, and I am learning all the time how to express that.

Message 07.06 (again on the train) 17th January

"I have been thinking about you. About some of the very simple things that turn me on when we are together.

When we are out somewhere (the cinema, pub etc), I like to sit with my hand on your thigh. I can feel your muscles beneath the fabric, the heat of your body. If I stroke your thigh, sometimes you make a small sound that tells me that you like it.

On our first date, we sat on the sofa in the cinema. We had already spent some time in your hotel room, so I knew that I fancied you, that I wanted you.

We were talking about all sorts of topics and enjoying each other's company. We didn't lose contact with one another the whole time we were there. I was stroking your hand and your fingers, and you kept losing your train of thought....

I kept my hand and your thigh and couldn't stop myself from slowly caressing you. Enjoying how you felt and feeling your response. I was a bit lost in it and there was a point where you leaned in and whispered, "be careful where your stroking", I hadn't realised my hand had possibly wandered a little too far. My heart was racing, I wanted to go back to your room .....xxxx"

This will never go away for me. I will always want the feel of your body next to mine, the scent of you, the taste of you.

Sara Xxxx