Robbie's Diary

Feb 27, 2010 4PM

I AM SO FUCKED!!!!!!!

I can't believe how fucked I am!!!

Fuck! FUCK! FUCCKKKK!

I was soooo happy after last night. I woke up still tasting their cum and I was so wet. I masturbated all night and I think I might have had an orgasm, a little one, but I don't know. And I got up and got ready to go to the gym when Mr. Torken from next door called and....fuckkkkkkkkkk!

I can't fucking believe what he did, the fucking pervert! I mean, how did he turn into such a dirty old man? He had a fucking video of me giving head to Jeffrey! If mom and dad get a hold of that, I'm totally fucked! I can't let them see it! Shit, but he's going to want something from me. Shauna's certain he's going to make me fuck him and Melissa was pretty sure I'd be lucky if that was all he had in mind. FUCKKKK! I don't want to be fucked by old Mr. Torken! I don't want to be fucked by anybody right now! I just wanted to taste Jeffrey's cock!!! God dammmit!!! ■ ■ ■ ■ ■ ■

And they're coming home tomorrow and he's pretty much said he'll have to tell them, cuz they made him promise to not have me have anybody over. They're so fucked up!!! I'm over 18, I can do what I want! Why do they have all these stupid rules for me?!?!

Shit. I have to do something or he's just going to bust me. Shauna said to try and negotiate something, but I don't know what that means. Like, what do I have to give him, other than the obvious, which is exactly what I don't want. Money? I don't have any money yet. That's why I can't let him tell on me. Maybe he'd wait until I get the money...there's no fucking way he's going to wait three years. Fuck shit fuck, fuck fuck!!!!

Shauna says I have to call him. So, I'm going to call him. Fuck.

8PM

I can't fucking believe it! I called him and I expected him to be all weird and everything, but he just invites me to come over for dinner. Dinner! I was totally expecting him to like rape me or something, but instead he was serious. He just wanted me to have dinner with him.

I thought for a few minutes he was going to let me off the hook, but then he came out with it -- 'play games' with him. Right. He said he wants to 'be my coach.' Help me get better at sex. Fuck him! Like I need his help! All it took was a phone call to get Jeffrey and those guys over here. Boys aren't so hard to figure out.

He thinks he can teach

me

? He's an oldie. How long has it been since he's even had sex? I almost choked on my food when he suggested it. But then I remembered his wife and Anney and Bruce and I didn't say anything. And the bs he said about the neighbors -- people fucking each other left and right. How does he even know that? But then, he sure as fuck caught me. I mean, what kind of pervert keeps tabs on the neighbors???

I'm fucked either way and I don't trust him. Even if I do 'play games' how do I know he won't bust me anyway? FUCKKKKKK!

Feb 28, 2010 10AM

I'm going to do it. Whatever he means by 'play games.' I didn't sleep very well last night worrying about it. And after I talked about it with Shauna, I don't really have a choice. If he busts me, I lose everything, but if I do what he wants I lose my virginity.

I cried a lot last night thinking about that. It's not how I have imagined it. I really really hope he won't make me go that far. I don't even want Jeffrey to have it. Greg, maybe. When I think about giving it up, I think of Greg. A lot. But last night all I could see was Mr. Torken and I got sick to my stomach.

Shauna and Melissa are the only two that know and I'm not sure how much more I can tell them. He got pretty mad when I mentioned I'd said something. He made it pretty clear I can't tell anybody anything. They don't know who it is, except a next door neighbor, so that's not too hard to figure out. Fuck, fuck FUCK!

I'm going to go running and clear my head. I have to make a decision this morning. He said he likes to run. Maybe I'll invite him? No, that's just stupid...but maybe I can do something to change his mind.

3PM

OH MY GOD!!!!!!

I don't even know where to begin. So much happened to me in the past few hours. I'm so confused. I've got to remember everything, but there's so many things. The worst of it is, I told him everything. I'm really fucked now. I'm so so so fucked. And he's got so much on me now, I...I've been crying just thinking about what might happen.

So, I invited him to run, but he told me he couldn't right then, but wanted me to come back after I was finished. I ran as hard and as long as I could stand, but I was tired from not sleeping. It felt good, and I worked up a sweat. I needed it and it will help for track this week.

I didn't even come home after. I just knocked on his door, all sweaty and tired. I'd already decided, even though I hadn't told him. And then. FUCK! He invited me in and I sat there and I just said I'd do it. And before I could even think he told me to go upstairs and take all my clothes off! FUCK FUCK FUCK. I just sat there and couldn't believe it. He wanted me to take a shower and get cleaned up and I just did it. I just did it! Like, I didn't even protest. I just walked up to the bathroom and stripped off my clothes while he watched. And he made me shower with the curtain open and when I looked up he had a video camera going! FUCKING PERVERT was all I could think, but I had no idea what was going to happen next!

I just did as he told, first showing off my body to him in the shower and then walked around his house nude. All I could think of was when I was over there with Anney and the sleepovers and so many play dates, and then being naked in front of him, in those same rooms I'd played in. How could he want to see me naked after knowing me as a kid? He's so twisted! He scares me, except...I don't have a choice.

And something he said made me want to do it. Like I wasn't up to it or something. I just felt like he was treating me like a child, like I couldn't do what he expected. But I had no idea how far he was going to push me.

So, he made me sit in the nook and after a while he wanted me to spread my legs open. I was so humiliated. So exposed. My vagina was wide open and I knew he could tell I was getting wet. FUCK! I just couldn't control myself. I kept thinking how much of a slut I was and how I had gotten off on that with Jeffrey and Bob. And the more he stared at me, the hornier I got!!! What's wrong with me???

But he didn't stop there. He made me play with myself! And then I had to tell him one of my sex fantasies. The one where I'm being gang raped at a party. And I just did it! I just sat there, spread open and fingering myself telling him my most private thoughts and all I wanted to do was cry. But I couldn't cry, cuz that would prove he was right and that I wasn't up to it. And the more I told him, the hornier I got and I couldn't believe what was happening!

I can't tell Shauna or Melissa any of this. It's too horrible. I'm such a horrible person. But it got so much worse. He made me do so much more. FUCK. He spanked me! He made me ask him to spank me! My butt is so sore. I can't believe he made me do that! But that was just a few minutes ago. I need to tell this in order.

So, I've taken a shower and he's watched me and I'm getting all juiced up, and then he tells me the game we're going to play -- Master / Servant. I'm going to be his housemaid. Until I go to college! He'll pay me, so that's cool, but he made it clear I'll be doing a lot more than just cleaning his house. I can't stand cleaning! Mom and dad will totally suspect something's up. But I do need the cash and he's said he'll pay me $40 each time, so that's like $80/week, and that's a lot more than I could make doing anything else. And it will fit into my schedule. So that part is great!

At least that's what I was thinking when he suggested it. And then he told me all of these rules about being his servant -- I can only look at his cock! I can't look at his face, and like, that's impossible, so that's why he spanked me, cuz I couldn't keep my eyes on his pants. But that's not the worst of it. Here are the rules:

1. I have to call him Sir. Not Mr. Torken or Phil or master thank god! Sir.

2. I can't talk unless he allows it. He'll threaten to gag me! GAG ME!!!! Fuck what have I agreed to????

3. He will punish me. He already has! He pulled on my nipples so hard I screamed and then he spanked me!!!! But even worse, he demanded I beg him to do it...and I DID!!! I couldn't believe I was doing it. And worse, even worse, I got so wet from it!!!

4. And he made me choose a 'safe word.' Just like in the stories. 'Turtle.' I had to use it already, and he stopped whatever he had been doing. And a safe tune -- the 1812, cuz he's already said he'll be gagging me, and he's already pushed his cock into my mouth so I couldn't use a safe word if I needed to.

So, I'm sitting there, spreading my legs wide open at his kitchen table, and of course my muff is totally exposed, and he's videotaping me while I'm playing with myself and telling him my most private sex fantasies, and all I can think of is how hard it's making him. That I'm making him hard and that he wants me and I'm scared he's going to fuck me and that turns me on even more, but I can't cum. I just can't get there. I'm still not sure I ever have, but I couldn't do it there.

Even when he told me he was going to fuck me in the ass. I almost lost it, but he didn't give me any time to even think about that before he talked about pinching my nipples and that's when he made me ask him to do it and I DID! I was sitting there with my finger up my muff and he made me ask him and I asked him to pinch my nipples. AND IT HURT so bad! I couldn't stand it, but then I had to ask him to do my other one and it hurt something awful and I could feel how wet I was and I just had to make it stop so I shouted TURTLE and he stopped. The pain kept going though, and I looked down to see how wet I was and I cried. I tried not to, but I hurt so much and I was confused by why it felt so good and I felt just like how we talk about Cory Whitman being a stupid slut and I just couldn't stop crying, cuz I don't want to be a slut and I'm not that stupid!!!

But it felt so good when it stopped. I'm so confused.

But it got worse.

He made me ask him to press an ice cube against my nipples and that felt good for a moment, until it got to be too much, but then he made me ask him to push it inside of me and that was just tooo much!!! I'd only felt one other guy touching me there -- Todd from the night before -- but this was Mr. Torken! And he was pushing a super cold ice cube into my vagina!!!!

And then he made me suck it! It was so gross!!! I couldn't believe where he was making me go. I've never ever licked my fingers or anything after I'd touched myself. It's so dirty! It was so...oh god, I'm such a slut! I let him push it into my mouth and I tasted what I taste like and it was so gross and...and I was so turned on. WHAT AM I???? I'm getting so wet just thinking about it again. I can feel his fingers and the ice cube and my nipples are tingling and I can still taste myself, and I'm just such a fucking whore.

And I was thinking it can't get any worse than this, but then it did. He made me run across the yard naked. In broad daylight! Anyone could have seen me! And then what would I do if mom and dad found out?!

And he video'd me standing at my back door, exposed, and I could smell myself cuz he'd wiped his fingers on my lips and I was sooooo disgusted and sooooo turned on. I just wanted him to stop and I just wanted him to keep going. Nobody had treated me like this. Ever! Not even Bob. He was such a dick. And I can't believe I want to be treated this way!!! I could see how turned on he was -- his shorts were bulging -- and I just shivered from being outside bare naked and from knowing how degraded he'd make me feel.

Master / servant. I could tell he didn't think I could do it, even as I was standing there naked at my back door. So I thought, fuck it, fuck you, Mr. Torken, I can do this better than anyone. He watched me as I cleaned up the house -- the kitchen, the living room. He wanted it to look like nobody had been there. I went as fast as I could, but I couldn't stop feeling so exposed as he watched my butt and my breasts and my naked ■ ■ ■ ■ muff every time I bent over. I was sooooo wet!!!! I'm still so fucking wet. But then it got even worse than I could have imagined.

After I finished with the basement, and I looked around to see I'd done a pretty good job, he stopped me and I knew it was coming. He was going to fuck me. I was so scared. But he didn't. I don't know how he knew, but he knew I wanted to give him head. I'd been thinking about it since I had been sitting spread open in his kitchen. I had been imagining his cock. He kept saying how hard he was and then I could see the bulge when I was cleaning.

But he made me tell him how much I wanted to suck his cock!!!! I HAD TO BEG HIM!!! A bunch of times!!! And he kept telling me how much better I'd be at it with him as my 'coach,' and I all I could think was FUCK YOU MR. TORKEN, but then he made me bend over in some kind of yoga move and I was so much more exposed and humiliated. He made me show him what kind of slut I really am. I almost cried again thinking how disgusting I was and then how much I loved it. I LOVED IT! But I didn't let him know. And then I was on my knees and he made me try and take his cock out with just my mouth and I couldn't do it. And he stopped me. And then the worst thing ever happened. He made me tell him why I wouldn't bust

him

.

He made me tell him about Gramma's inheritance. And I just couldn't take it anymore and I cried. Naked, humiliated, disgusting and on my knees, my hands spreading my ass wide open with his cock bulging in his pants and he made me tell him the one secret I've not told anyone. And now he owns me. Truly owns me. I was ready to play his games and show him what kind of sex toy I could be, but that was before he knew everything. As soon as I said it, I knew I was truly truly fucked. But he wouldn't stop until I did.

And I knew right then I was going to be his toy. It sounds horrible when I write it, but something clicked when I told him about Gramma, and I knew he was serious about being my coach and even though I know I'm better than he thinks I am, the stuff he did to me today is waaaayyyy more than I even imagined. My nipples ache from what he did, and I can't sit down he spanked me so hard. But when he let me take his cock into my mouth, I knew I didn't have to worry about any of the boys at school. He was going to let me suck him whenever he wanted it. And he tasted so good. So much better than any of the boys I'd sucked. Ever. I can't describe it. It's still totally gross and slimy, but maybe cuz he's making me such a whore it just feels better. One thing's for sure, he's a lot saltier than the boys, and maybe that's what I like about it.

I don't know, but it doesn't matter. He's made me his personal slut and I can't do anything about it until I go away to college.

And I know this because he told me I needed to be punished, and he made me decide what it would be, and I just knew he would choose something awful, like pushing something up my ass and I couldn't bear even thinking about

that

, so I beat him to it and said I needed to be spanked. I HATE SPANKING!!! I felt like such a little girl, except his dick was pushed against my muff and I could feel him stiffening as he slapped my cheeks. It was so demeaning! I never want to give him an excuse to do that again. BUT I ASKED HIM TO DO IT! And he made me thank him!

But he touched my asshole and I freaked out cuz I know he'll do something there and I can't stand thinking about it. And I couldn't take the whole punishment, especially after he slapped my open muff! It hurt so much. It still is super-tender. I hope he hasn't injured me. I could barely wipe it after I peed just now. SHIT! What have I got myself into????

He let me suck him again, though. His cock was so hard after my spanking, I felt like I still had some kind of power, even though I knew he had everything on me. I could tell my parents but what then? I could say he did it first, but he had the video of me and Jeffrey.

I can't tell Shauna or Melissa any of this. I have to make up a story. I have to take another shower. I feel so gross and so nervous. Mom and dad will be home soon. FUCK!!!!!

Mar 1, 2010 8PM

Shit I am sooo fucked. Sooo fucked. I could barely sit down today my ass hurt so much and I had to totally hide in the locker room after practice it's bright red.

I was so anxious when they came home last night, I was sure they'd know something was up. But I just tried to be as calm as possible, even when they asked stupid questions or noticed how clean the place was. I just shrugged and said I thought they'd appreciate coming home to a straightened house.

During my run I couldn't help but look at Mr. Torken's place. Don't know what I expected to see, but he's got me so spooked all I can do is see his cock and taste his cum. I tasted it all day, which is stupid and just my imagination, but every time I imagined the taste I felt myself get juicy. I'm so fucked.

And Shauna and Melissa were all over me in study hall, whispering and being stupid. I kept telling them to shut the fuck up or Ms. Carlson would get all ornery, so they waited until lunch to find out what happened.

I told them as much of the truth as I could -- that he had the video, that he was threatening to tell my folks unless I did stuff for him and shit like that. I changed up the next door neighbor thing, though, when they asked, telling 'em it was a college kid a few doors away who saw the cars and wondered what was up. I told 'em he had just made me strip and felt me up and made me suck his dick, but I had a picture of him, so I could say he had forced me into it if it came down to it. I made it sound like I was off the hook, but they wanted details of what he'd made me do, which was easy since all of that was nearly the same. And all they could do was cover their mouths and their eyes got wide, and I knew they hadn't done anything like this. Ever.

But now I'm wondering when Phil's going to talk to my parents about the job. It's all I can do to not blurt it out myself.

I saw Greg today at school and I soooo want to just tell him to ask me out. Jeffrey and the others were all snickering in the lunch room, looking over at me, but Shauna and Melissa helped give as good as they were. I just hope they can keep their mouths shut and not spread it around. My reputation is already fucked up. I don't need that grief too.

I still haven't heard from all the schools yet. Mostly I'm hoping to hear from Evergreen, and I know they haven't sent anybody's out yet, something got fucked up in their systems and they're running late, but I have to tell the other schools something really soon. I can't wait to get out of this place, and now especially.

Mar 3, 2010 8PM

Nothing important going on today or yesterday. Just trying to get back to some kind of normal, even though my ass still smarts and my cooch is a little tender. Knowing Mr. Torken is over there scheming makes me so anxious. Anxious and tight around my stomach. Like the idea of him treating me like a slut just keeps me on edge all the time. I can't think about it too much or I'll start

masturbating

playing with myself and I don't want to do that right now!

Mar 4, 2010 8PM

OH MY FUCKING GOD! I so wanted to get this down sooner but mom just had to have me help her with the groceries and dinner and whatthefuck!

I went running this afternoon, just like usual, only this time Phil came trotting out and suggested we run together. I was immediately suspicious, and besides, he couldn't possibly expect to keep up with me, could he?