I was probably pretty late in losing my virginity at 18; mostly this was down to being at an all girls' school, so there were not any boys about. Of course I fantasized and masturbated but I didn't really have many opportunities for kissing, let alone sex. Some of the girls did experiment with each other. I never did, it just wasn't something I was even curious about.
After my exams were over I spent some time in Switzerland being finished. An outmoded concept even then, basically it meant learning how to be a lady and how to behave in social situations. Boring stuff and another all girl environment so no boys, no male staff either. It was while I was there I applied for a place on an expedition to the Ural Mountains. Climbing is a passion of mine even today, and I was hired. Basically I'd be rigging lines and so on with a more experienced climber for a three month geographical survey, this was the early 1990s and one of the first collaborative projects between British and Russian universities after the collapse of the Soviet Union. I thought it was better than bumming round Goa for my gap year.
There was over a month before we set off and my parents wanted me to attend some Debutants Balls. By the early 1990s the practice was dying out. These balls were not official and basically just parties arranged by rich families trying to marry off their children. Now you might think that these balls were the place for lots of sex, most happened in large private houses with a lot of empty bedrooms, but you would be wrong. Everyone was too scared of AIDS, scared of getting pregnant before university or just scared in general.
I attended three balls, the day after the last one I was ready for something else. Till then I wore I my hair down to the middle of my back. For the trip to Russia I hacked it off, literally, I platted it and used large kitchen scissors to cut the bulk off before going to the stylist. I ended up with a feminine but above the ears style. I also had to take a medical, fill out paperwork and attend briefings. That meant I was staying in a hotel in London for three days, alone. One of the things I had to do was fill out forms relating to what happened if I died during the expedition. I was an indestructible teenager and I hadn't thought about death before.
I decided I didn't want to take the chance that I would die a virgin. So I would have to have sex before I left. In fact I would have to have sex in the next couple of days, before I went home and was surrounded by family. Looking back I can't believe how irrational and hormonally guided I was in this thought. In fact it is quite embarrassing really that I thought that way, but I did.
At one of the balls I'd met a guy named Matt. My age, rugby player, tallish with dark hair and green eyes, quite good-looking. We had kissed and danced close and we had talked. He wasn't the type who would brag about sleeping with someone. So I called him and asked if he wanted to meet for a drink. I think he got quite the shock when he saw me. Short hair; no make up wearing a tee shirt and jeans. I looked very different from the deb I'd been just two weeks before.
"Hi Matt, did you have trouble recognising me?" I said as he approached the table.
"A bit, you look different, but good. Were you wearing a wig before?" He replied.
"No I cut it." I said. I was starting to get fed up of hair questions.
"Your expedition, I guess it'll be easier?" He said.
"Yes. I leave next week it's all finalised now. What have you been up to?" I said.
We drifted into an easy conversation; he was also going to travel. Spending most of his gap year doing an internship in Australia. We talked until the bar started to get very noisy, then he offered to walk me back to my hotel. When we got there he tried to give me a peck on the cheek while we were outside in the street. I moved away screwed up my courage and said:
"Why don't you see me all the way to my room, you can even come in if you like."
"Okay." He said with a slight smile.
As we walked up the stairs I realised I felt scared. I really wanted this to happen, but I wasn't sure what would happen once we got into the room.
As hotel rooms go this one was basic just a small double bed, one nightstand, a chest of drawers plus a small shower and toilet room. All the furniture was pine, the walls and linen were magnolia and the carpet was grey and stained, there was also the constant sound of the traffic passing by the window.
When we got into the room we sat on the bed and kissed. It was slightly awkward and more than a bit tentative on both sides. Matt I think thought that a bit of a make out session was all that would happen. Not unlike what had happened a couple of weeks before. After a very long time I moved away from his lips and whispered in his ear.
"Make love to me?"
As soon as I said it I bit my lip, my heart started to thump and my mouth went dry. The words themselves seemed wrong, 'make love to me' what was I? A heroine in a 'Mills & Boon'?
"Urm, um I oh." Mark stammered.
