I come from my dear Latvia to live among arrogant peoples. Brought by a lonely man, Mr. Francali, a 'mail order' bride but I do not know what mail or what order, I come on airplane to this place and meet that lonely man, he take me home to warm his bed. He no say Laipni lūdzam! which is Welcome! but just say come with me.
He promise a life of freedom and wealth. His apartment is two room, a small bed and a hotplate, not even as good as my home in Latvia on farm but of course only two live here and not seven and I no longer must care for old Vectēvs sick with tuberculosis so better in those ways.
And small place is simple to clean, that is good. I do all cleaning, so even with his pig habits it take little work.
I know, wife is to cook and clean and have sex with new Vīrs, husband, so I do that. Every day he want that. Every day is wake up, make husband bacon-and-egg, get husband clean clothes and he eat and leave and am alone.
I get bored after clean, he is work somewhere in greasy sweaty clothes that come back every day smelling of pork and sweat. I clean so he goes back the next day to work again.
Home is small, that also describes Mr. Francali burkāns, is a stub, fat like he is and hard for him to get into me. So I take in mouth until his greasy mess come. I worry he want me swallow but no he does not care what I do once he is happy, he just sleep. So I spit in toilet and wash mouth, get gone pork smell, he always pork smell and taste.
The same every day. He work hard, then make me suck then sleep. I try to feel bad for him, a hard life but I cannot. He cannot love me, he cannot like me not even a little, just tell me to do! and I do and he sleep.
I make deal, I stay only if he write paper so I get all he has when he gone. I not cook, not suck until sign paper. He mad but he not hit, so I no suck and he stops mad. He bring paper, read to me and we sign with lady down hallway with stamp and wax, to make official. She read again so I know, it is what I want so I sign. Then we go home and I cook and suck and spit and he sleep.
Weekend he play xbox, only that and eat pizza with pork so I walk, find church down three street and find people there who will talk, share time with me. Help me with English, so I have better words and better sounds. Nice peoples, like in Latvia and not like Mr. Francali, they like me! Not arrogant like airplane people. They ask about me, smile and Welcome! when I come and call Goodbye! when I leave not like Francali who never care.
Six months only I live this way and I come from church and Mr. Francali not answer, not even when I cook franks-and-beans he like so much. I go to him at xbox and he not move, face blue and no breath. So I go down hallway to lady with stamp and wax and she come, go back and call and people come to take him. They want me to go too but I show paper so they leave me.
Now I have apartment, paid for whole month so I must work to pay again when next month. I have papers, widow green card now I am not citizen but can work and stay, so I work and stay.
Flower shop has much need of flower arranger, help with bouquet and I have skill here, since a maza meitene, a little girl I learn from old Vecmāmiņa grandmother make flower for church so I know this. Make real Latvian bouquet which customers like so I have job. Enough for apartment and food, sometimes a little meat but no pork, I scrub and scrub so pork smell gone from floors and walls, never pork.
I give Mr. Francali clothes to church, I give xbox to lady with stamp and wax. Now all is for me, I have drawer with clothes for me and food for me, chair for me and bed for me. And I am lonely.
I have time now in evening and Sunday so I help at church, help with young people's homework and with bible school so children learn to be not arrogant and to like other people. I like children, they want only my help and never laugh at my words and hug when come and hug when go.
I tell story of farm in Latvia, my country is flat but in Eastern is woods and lake and many little river, I learn 'creek' which is sound like door make but they say is right word. Don Sable hear me say story and he is Youth Education Organizer, long title for young man! Important at church, children like him and parents like him and Father like him and meet with him and make plan for youth.
Don Sable ask me, come with youth on retreat! Come to wood and lake nearby and stay three day and teach children about wood and lake. I say yes! I hunger for flower and grass and sound of water.
So Don Sable Youth Education Organizer he say I must test swimming, test canoe, that is small water boat like Indians make! I say yes I can test, I am very good with boat in Latvia, I learn canoe too!
I take test then I be 'Youth Chaperone', I have long title too! Not as long as Don Sable, he will be boss and I assistant which please me.
Day for test come, comes, I learn to say that now, day for test comes and I dress like Don Sable says, swimming suit but at store for women only little tiny swimming suits with panties and not even bra, just tiny bit of cloth to cover nipple so I say suit with one piece! and they say, go to big general store and buy there. So I go there and find suit that stretch, cover all so I buy.
Then I wear short pant over, and shirt but I don't button because it is warm and buttons don't reach all the way around me, breast too much to fit inside. Don Sable say fine, fine, will be good because I can wear in car and travel but take off shirt in water, take off short pant in canoe. So we get in and go, Don Sable looks at me and I looks at him and smile! First time I leave three blocks, church and apartment and small stores and one big store so all is new to me.
Canoe on roof of car, tied on and strange, I worry I do not know how to drive canoe. Not hard, he will show! I am excited to learn.
Don Sable drives big roads, bridge that goes over other road, he says that is ramp, not the plant but the same word. So many times, same word for other thing! So much to learn.
Then long time we drive in country, empty! Nobody here, just fence and corn and maybe one house but no people. I say, Latvia there are house, house, house even in country, six-seven people in house and everybody work outside but here nobody! So much land, so much for each.
Don Sable smiles at my simple words, says not so much for most, in city only small apartment, no field, no grass. He say, live out here, no, living out here, is better, I agree but who can buy land, so much! He say, he says, work hard and buy land, small cost out here. I think, maybe I work hard and buy land, grow turnip and carrot and a little meat, cālis, I make sound and wave arms and Don Sable says Chicken! and I learns new English. And Don Sable smile and laugh and I think, I like him!
We go to wood and drive on simple road, like in Latvia! I say and Don Sable smiles and says nothing. We stop at water. So much water! and I am happy and I cry, has been a years since I see water and Don Sable smile and get out and untie canoe. I help, he shows how to take off careful, turn and now I see, is boat! With bottom not flat, ends both front-end! Can go this way, go that way! I smile.
First, test swim! So I take off shirt and take off shorts and Don Sable smile and watch, tells me I am strong! Will be fine, test swim. There is wood road over water, laivu piestātne in Latvia, 'boat dock' he says. I go to end of boat dock, jump in water and come up fine and smiling, and Don Sable smiling and says can swim out there? And there is boat dock but not on land, not far, so I swim there and hear Don Sable in water and he is swim. We race to boat dock and I win!
He find kāpnes, ladder, climb up and water leave him like rain and I climb up and he reach to hold hand, ladder is wet and I slip and Don Sable pull hard and lift me up onto dock, onto feet! And water leave me like rain and I see, swimsuit wet is not swimsuit, can see belly and nipple and hair between leg and all, like swimsuit is glass window.
Don Sable say Strong! I do pilate? and I ask what is pilate and he says, exercises. I say, in Latvia work is exercises, no time for more exercises and Don Sable laughs and smiles.
Now test canoe so I jump in and swim back and Don Sable wins this race, maybe he lets me wins first race? Maybe he watch me swim, he like watch me.
I learns to put canoe in water, to hold canoe while Don Sable puts veste in canoe, veste is water shirt but big with air so it floats. Then Don Sable holds canoe, I get in and it moves! This way, that way, careful! And I learn, hold two hands, feet in middle, slowly, I get to canoe front, to far end and sit, hold paddle. Where is other paddle? and Don Sable says, Indian canoe we use one paddle! So this is new.
Don Sable pushes off and gets in other front, has paddle too. So we learn paddle, I paddle right and Don Sable paddle left, then switch. Soon we pass dock, other dock, out in lake and see no boat, just one canoe today.
We learn turn right, turn left. Learn to go back, to stop. Easy! We go to other side of lake, find place where creek comes into lake and water very slow. Time to tip canoe! I say, No! too far to swim to car! and Don Sable says, we learn to get back in, paddle back!
So he go right and left and right and canoe go tip! and I jumps in and Don Sable jumps in and canoe tips and fill with water but floats with just top part above water. And we come up and see, and Don Sable says get paddle! So we gets paddle, put in canoe.