My Summer of Self Discovery

I like to think that I'm not completely self-absorbed. I care deeply about others, and appreciate them for who they are. It is also true, however, that I like the way I look, and get a special thrill about looking as sexy as possible. This is something I discovered -- and perfected -- one summer as a young adult.

In pretty much every respect I was a normal girl. I was studious, but athletic enough to avoid being pigeon-holed as a complete nerd.

Fortunately, my first university semester was crawling to an end for another year, and a long summer stretched ahead of me. I lived in a fairly small town, and had managed to get myself a good summer job at one of the local shops. My parents didn't get much time off over the summer, and I needed to save money so I wasn't going away anywhere exciting. Sadly, most of my friends were lucky enough to have holidays planned, so I was going to have to be my own company for a lot of the summer. That was okay with me though: I was keen to save money and have some time to myself.

After a couple of days of coming home to find me alone reading on the couch, my wonderful loving parents started to worry about me spending too much time alone. I reassured them that I was quite happy, and just wanted to unwind after work, but I knew they'd keep worrying unless I found a way to get out of the house regularly.

So I started going for long walks. I had a couple of hours free each morning or afternoon depending on my shifts, so I'd set off with a bottle of water and a book and find a nice spot to read. It was only my second day when I found a perfect spot to hide away from the world. Out of town the area was pretty much entirely tree-lined fields, with a few more heavily-wooded areas in between. Some of these were freely accessible to the public (boring!), but others were private. I was just setting out on my morning walk when I saw the locked gate, leading to a green, grassy and clearly unused field. Without a second's thought I jumped the gate and went to investigate. Five minutes later I'd found a quiet corner where the ground was flat and I could sit and read, effectively hidden from any passers-by by a series of trees and hedges. I lay down in the sun to read.

After five minutes I began to sweat, and made a mental note to myself to bring a big hat next time.

Back home that evening, as I stood under the shower rinsing away the sweat from my hectic shift and my morning in the sun, I took note of the slight change in color on my arms and thighs.

"This won't do" I said to myself.

My friends were sunning themselves on a beach somewhere while I was developing a trucker's tan reading in a field. I'm not very dark skinned, but my hair is dark and I do tan quite easily. I quickly resolved to take a bikini to my secret spot the next day.

"Just wait till my friends see my hot bikini bod," I thought.

I spent the next week visiting my secret hiding place pretty much daily, and soon even my parents had noticed my darker skin tone.

"It's great you're getting out, but make sure you protect your skin," my mother admonished me.

"Yes darling, you have such beautiful skin, you don't want to end up all wrinkly and scaly like your mother and I," chimed in my father, earning himself a slap on the arm from my mother.

"Of course I will, Mom," I promised my mother, but secretly I loved my new tan.

In my early teens I'd felt really gangly and awkward in my growing body, but admiring myself in the mirror now I felt really good about how I looked. Especially in my bikini. My parents were right about me needing to protect my skin though, and to be honest I thought I looked a bit odd naked. The skin covered by the bikini almost glowed white in comparison to my tanned limbs. Hmmm, I thought. I hadn't seen a soul at my hiding place so far. Maybe I could ditch the bikini? I felt a tingle of excitement at the idea.

The next day work seemed to drag on for eternity, but I finally finished and rushed home with the afternoon free. I grabbed my things -- and the bikini too, just in case -- and set off for my secret "beach". No one was there of course, and the spot was open enough that I could find a patch of ground exposed to the afternoon sun.

I can't begin to describe how thrilling it was to spread out naked on my towel and feel the sun and the breeze on my body. I diligently turned around every fifteen minutes or so to get a nice even tan, and regularly applied suncream to stop myself. I have to confess it was difficult to keep a clear head and not get carried away with myself while rubbing on that suncream!

After a couple of weeks of this my libido really started getting the better of me. As my tanlines slowly faded, I felt better and better about myself and was almost constantly aroused. Looking in the mirror I felt like a goddess! In my dreams I would be lying naked in the sun when a handsome man (and once or twice a young woman) would stumble across my hiding place. Unable to resist my beauty they would strip off and have passionate sex with me. I started to put a towel under my sheets because I was worried the wet patch I found each morning would stain the mattress.

You would have thought that my daydreaming and fantasising would affect my work, but funnily enough I really started to excel. I started wearing prettier (but still modest) clothes, and generally felt sexy and wonderful. I had a smile for everyone and received more than a few compliments.

My parents have always preached modesty. While I generally agree with them now, when I was younger it had been a nightmare convincing them to allow me to shave my legs like the rest of the girls I knew. So you can imagine my instinctive reluctance as a young adult to go that step further and shave my pussy. The discovery of my secret hiding place seemed to have flicked a switch inside me, however. I was constantly thinking about sex and was hooked on feeling beautiful, and naughty. Each time I undressed to sunbathe was a thrill, and the idea of being completely naked made me feel all tingly inside. So, one morning I waited until my parents left for work and, after shaving my legs, I took a fresh razor and started to remove my pubic hair.

I lie. First I took a razor, but then quickly realised that my pubes were too long to shave straight away. I'd never even really trimmed them, so I had quite a healthy bush. It was actually a shade or two lighter after all my sunbathing! I trimmed them quite short with some scissors -- a surprisingly difficult task, especially in those hard-to-reach places where I had to use a mirror to guide me. Then I took the razor and finished the job.

My hand was a bit shaky, and it was harder than I thought, but the overall experience was...very arousing. By the time I put the razor down there was a steady flow of clear me coming out of my pussy and running down over my asshole. I'd never seen this much of myself before and I'd definitely never been this wet. I focussed the shower head on my groin to clean away the soap and hair, and if I hadn't been sitting on the floor of the shower I think my legs would have given way. Wow. It was like someone had turned the sensitivity of my pussy up to 11. I think I could have come in seconds, and the urge to masturbate was really strong, but I was also enjoying riding the wave and didn't want these amazing feelings to stop.

So I turned the shower off, got to my feet and stood in front of the mirror admiring my beautiful new creation. My pubic region was a tiny bit less tanned than the rest of me. Not a hair to spoil the view, you could clearly see my full smooth pussy lips, ever so slightly darker where they folded in to meet my inner lips, which blossomed out like delicate flower petals. They and my outer lips were flushed pink with excitement, and a thin strand of wetness stretched to my thigh and ran down my leg. I was in love.

Some people say that the shaved look is a turn-off, that it looks pre-pubescent. But looking in the mirror I felt like an adult. A very sexy slutty adult, but very much an adult.

From what I'd read, the skin after you shave is very sensitive, so I'd decided not to sunbathe that day. I'd been careful not to shave against the grain (now I wax ;) ), and I wanted to stay naked for as long as possible so my skin didn't get irritated by my clothes. I ended up spending the rest of the morning admiring myself in the mirror and taking selfies. I felt so naughty I even tried tasting my pussy juices for the first time ever. It was such a rush.

When I went to work I wore the floatiest dress I could find and some ultra-soft granny knickers with a pad in. I was so worried about leaving wet patches on everything!

A few days later I went back to my secret spot to sunbathe again. Tried to behave myself but couldn't help stroking myself gently with my fingertips -- down my sides, over my breasts and stomach, my thighs, and finally my soft smooth lips. Before I knew it I was having an earth-shattering orgasm which left me gasping for breath and in desperate need of a new towel to lie on.

Things were different after that summer. I never did show my friends my all-over tan, but they were surprised by how brown I was when term started again. Everybody noticed the change in my confidence. I lost my virginity in a short-lived and fairly underwhelming relationship with a nice boy from my class. He was a bit upset when we broke up, but I told everyone he was great in bed and had a big dick. In return he didn't say anything about my all-over tan and shaved pussy.

I try to stay tanned, although I'm heeding my parent's advise and keeping the sunbathing to the bare minimum required to ensure no tan lines. Am I a narcissist (and a bit of an exhibitionist)? Well yes, maybe. But the advantages have far outweighed the disadvantages so far, so I'll try to keep it in check but enjoy my looks while I can!