Author note: this story is not about me, and it is not really a fantasy either. It is mostly what my older sister told me about her experience with her husband and how she finally had an orgasm while he was fucking her.
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I married at age 21 and dropped out of college to work and support my husband, who was in graduate school. I loved him and I think he loved me. We are still married 30 years later, so that is more than a guess. I had learned how to bring myself to orgasm by rubbing my clitoris with a finger or using a vibrator on it is I had one (and I usually did have one). I never really poked stuff in my cunt because it didn't feel half as good as working my clitoris, which felt fantastic.
I even wondered if maybe I was "oversexed" because I would bring myself to orgasm more than once a day, often more than twice a day. I never really worried about sex after marriage, and actually I had intercourse with my fiance in the basement of his parents' home before we were married, and bled a little on a couch that had been retired to the basement. He almost stopped half way in when it was apparent his stiff cock was tearing me, but I encouraged him to get it all the way in and he did eventually manage that. I had never seen stiff cocks before so I didn't know that his was a little bigger than average. I never actually measured it. Do people actually do that? Maybe they should make videos of that instead of the routine fucking I see now on internet. That might be funny? A jury could be arguing about the last 1/4 inch and whether to count that if they pushed the ruler into the fat in the guys pubic region. A debate over cock length- maybe youtube would censor that?
Anyway, he didn't finish! He pulled out and must have masturbated later. I sure did, despite some persistent soreness from my torn hymen. I got a mirror and looked at it: it was ripped quite a bit, but only in one place and that must have been enough? I didn't let it scar down though, I used the handle of a hairbrush every day to keep that stupid hymen from healing together, I wanted to keep it open enough that there would not be any problem "next time". In retrospect, I should have had a dildo the size of my husbands penis, and used that to make sure there would be no more tearing. OR maybe have a doctor fix the hymen? But that would have deprived my fiance of the fun of deflowering me and being certain I was a virgin. Although he really didn't seem to enjoy hurting me! He probably did enjoy knowing he was the first and only.
Even with all they pain of the tearing, his penis had felt "good" inside me, filling me, so I was actually looking forward to more fucking as soon as I healed. It was like you might enjoy a cool drink of water even though your lip was sore. By the time I had healed, we were separated by a thousand miles and it was all masturbation until I visited him at Christmas. I stayed at his parents home again, and he would sneak into the guest bedroom where I was and we would kiss and touch and then fuck every night at about 3am, and sometimes again about 6am long before anyone got up and way before sunrise in December.
He loved fucking me, no doubt of that; and I enjoyed it but never really had an orgasm and didn't know why because he sure had a big cock, and I would get all kinds of good feelings and start to get really excited, but then he was done and went back to his bedroom (so his mother wouldn't find us naked together?) and I would rub myself and have a great orgasm thinking about what had just happened and how much he loved me. We got married the next summer, but sex sort of stayed the same. And even six years later, after having two wonderful babies, I was still rubbing myself to orgasm after what seemed like really good sexercise with my husband.
Then he started experimenting. I don't know if some other woman got him started, or maybe it was the subscription to Playboy that his sister gave him at Christmas. I usually didn't mind if the door was locked or not because we usually were under the covers or there was nobody to interrupt us anyway- but by then we had a 4 year old who would just walk into our bedroom if the door was open- and would pound on the door yelling "let me in" if the door was locked!
Anything he read about he wanted to try (my husband but the 4 year old was trying lots of new stuff also!) , and most of it seemed really stupid compared to kissing and touching, which I really liked and didn't get enough of before he started fucking me. Ropes and threats and dressing up- all sort of silly and not exciting to me because I guess I never really tried to make it more real- it was just my husband, whom I loved and trusted, tying me up. Spanking me and making me promise to not be naughty. BFD.
He wasn't going to hurt me and I guess that is why most of the games didn't work well: if he had hurt me a little and I had not been totally trusting, maybe it would have been exciting in some way.
But then he got to "oral sex".
I had refused to suck on his penis when he directed me there before we were married. I don't know why I refused, it just didn't seem like something I should do, or maybe I had heard that guys don't respect girls who do that. A girlfriend told me that if I was going to do it, I should do it really badly- even rub my teeth against his cock- so he didn't think I had learned how someplace else. Maybe that just convinced me to let him know for sure I had learned nothing! anywhere.