My First Time

[This was not written for publication but just for myself.]

I met Annette through my association with the Social Credit Political League and I started to go out with her. Annette was very tall, about 5'9" and slim. This was not the figure that I preferred but beggars cannot be choosers. It is not that I am unattractive at all, but I did not and I still do not know how to approach women. At this time, I felt that I was in love with Marion, a woman more to my liking and with a figure that I much preferred. Marion also had a much better figure than Annette; at least one that I was more attracted to. I had been out with Marion once or twice but she showed no further interest in me that way. Although we were good friends and got on well together, she did not want it to go any further than that. This was partly because she was still going out a man in Tauranga, where she came from. Anyway, back to Annette.

On the first time that I had her around at my place, where I was boarding/flatting, my landlady was away and she came around to see me. We went into the lounge and I started into necking on the couch. I found Annette to be a good kisser but I had not had very much experience in this department before this, but she was good, none the less. After doing this for a time, I let my hands start to explore her body, at first her breasts over her clothes. She did not seem to mind this, although she was unsure of it because of her limited experience. I think that she was flattered with my attention. However, when I went to try to venture under her dress and down to her pubic region, she was unsure, but she let me continue. When I tried to get my hands into her panties, she drew a line at that. So we kept on in the necking for sometime before we stopped.

We had several sessions like this and she always stopped me. Of course, I was disappointed, but I could take it. I was still a rampant virgin, as was she, and two virgins starting out together does not always make a good combination.

One problem was, that I always saw Marion at Teachers College every day as we were both in the same T group and our lectures were the same. We would spend a lot of time talking in our off time at the cafeteria. We had a good rapour and enjoyed each other's company, but she was most reluctant to take the relationship any further. So I kept on seeing Annette, who was at University, which was only next door but we did not see very much of each other during the week. My heart was with Marion but my loins were with Annette in the hope of seducing of her.

I kept on seeing her and going around to her flat. When I could, I would indulge in sex play with her. I liked Annette's flatmate, Hermine, a large Dutch young woman but I did not fancy her sexually. I had many meals around there and spent quite a bit of my free time with both of them, and with Annette alone when I could. I chipped in to the kitty for a contribution to the food that I had consumed there, which I thought was only fair.

It was sometime after this than I felt that I should break off the relationship with Annette because of the way I felt about Marion. I felt that this was unfair to Annette. She did not seem to think the same way about it, as I did not tell her the main reason about why I was breaking it off. She was upset because I was breaking it off, but I do not remember the reason that I gave her about why I was doing so. However, she accepted my decision but was pleased that I was still going to be her friend and go and see her. With our association with Social Credit, we still me through these activities socially as were as in meetings as well.

I continued to go around and spend time at the flat with the two young women but I never made any approaches towards her. I tried to develop an emotional relationship with Marion. Although we became closer friends, it never went to the length that I wanted, which was full commitment to each other with the development of a sexual relationship. I do not think that I was even able to kiss Marion, but I may have at one stage or another.

Things went on like this for at least two months, where I had two different relationships with two different women. One wanted me as their "lover" and the other wanted me as a friend. Unfortunately, it was the wrong way around as far as I was concerned. I wanted the women to swap rolls.

Anyway, I continued to see Annette socially and on one occasion I was around at her flat and Hermine was not there. We were fooling around in the bedroom for some reason, I do not remember why. Some how we were wrestling and Annette ended on the floor with me on top of her. We looked at each other for sometime and then I started kissing her. This seemed to surprise Annette, who had become used to me keeping my body to myself in that way, but she accepted and participated. I think that she was pleased.

She stopped after the first tentative kiss and asked me if I was sure that this is what I wanted. I wasn't sure, but I sure as hell wanted to experience sex and I felt that Annette would be my best choice, so I said that it was. We continued kissing, still on the floor, and why we did not move to the bed, I will never know. I was on top of her at this stage and she had spread her legs to allow me to lie on top of her as if we were making love. We still had our clothes on and I was moving on top of her as if I was making love to her. Of course this made me very aroused, and I am sure that Annette felt this through our clothes. I stroked her breasts over her clothes and we, or rather I became more and more aroused. I moved myself off her somewhat I my hands went exploring more of her body. She made no attempt to stop me but then again she was not actively encouraging me either. However, when my hands went under her dress and attempted to get into her underwear, she stopped me. I am sure that if she had not stopped me then that we would have ended both having our first full sexual experience. It would have been on the floor with two very good beds only a few feet away from us. I was very unsophisticated in the ways of seducing a woman, and for that matter, I still am. It was to be several weeks before we first had sex together there and then.

We went to a Training College Ball. We went to a Training College Ball together and Annette looked very attractive. However, with high heels on and her hair done up, she was taller than I was and I had to look up to her. One thing about the Balls that I did not like was the fact that the price of the ticket included all you could drink. Many people, especially males, drank more than their fair share but I only had a few. I was never drunk at these and was always in full control of myself. Perhaps I should have drink more because I was not driving at the time, as I did not have a car. Annette had her car and we went in hers. I limited my drinking and just enjoyed myself. At this ball, they had an excellent floorshow of Polynesian dances, which was wonderful. We danced every dance and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.

After the Ball, we went back to my place as my landlady was always. We had a hot drink and I suggested that we went to bed for a cuddle to which Annette was agreeable. I moved my H.M.V. Stereo 2 into the hall and put a few records on automatic and we went into the bedroom. Annette of course still had her hair up and she was willing to take her Ball gown off, and as her bra was attached to her dress, she took this off also. She would not take her tights and panties off. I got into bed naked but she was partly dressed. We kissed and cuddled and stroked and no matter how I tried, encouraged or coerced her, she would not remove her lower clothing. I was disappointed with this, as I wanted to make love with her. I think that she knew this but I never told her that was what I wanted to do. We stayed in bed together for the rest of the night. We indulged in intimate caressing and so on but nothing else. She went home later in the morning, both of us being tired.

Once we went in her car to spend the weekend at my parent's place. We had an enjoyable time together. When we went to bed that evening, we were in separate rooms. Later in the night, I slipped into Annette's room and she welcomed me in bed with her. She had a nightie on and after being in bed with her for a short time, I was able to get her to remove it. I had red in one book that I had read, of a technique that a person used to seduce a woman, and I decided to try it. I kissed all down her back and then through her legs, concentrating on her vagina, and then started to move up her front. Of course Annette had to co-operate with this or it would never have worked and I think that she enjoyed it. She certainly became quite wet. As I moved up her front, I moved her more onto her back and I was between her legs. I moved into the position to enter her, but she kept moving out of my reach. I was not going to take her by force, but I gently tried often to enter her but she always foiled me. She was obviously not ready for sex but I was.

We continued like this for many minutes. As I was not prepared to force the issue, I did not push too hard or forcefully, although I could have. I think that eventually I did have an ejaculate on her Mon Venus, and this quietened me down, at least for a time. It was preferable from my parents' point of view if we were in separate beds in the morning. For their sake I went back to my own bed. I would have preferred to have spent the night with Annette.

During this time, Annette suggested that she would go on the pill. I wasn't too sure about this but I was pleased that she was thinking about this. It also suggested that we would become lovers, which is what I wanted. I should have said to her to go ahead and go on it but for some reason I did not second the idea.

One evening when I had her round for dinner, I had intended to have her on the menu as well. We were in bed, both of us naked, before dinner indulging in some very heavy petting. I tried to mount her but she stopped me gently but firmly and would not allow me to do so. I tried several times to get her to relent but she never did. I was not forceful about it, but I think that I was withdrawn because of being stopped. I know that I should not have been but I was. We then stopped for dinner that was sausages, mixed frozen vegetable and mashed potatoes. It was a tasty meal but nothing spectacular. I should have had some wine with the meal but at the time I had not developed a taste for wine. I was unable to buy it as I was still under the drinking age. I probably could have obtained it but I was too scared that I would have been caught.

After dinner we went back to bed together in bed and I started into the seduction routine, such as it was. This time as well as everything else, apart from trying to mount her, I rubbed my erect penis up and down on her vagina until I experienced an orgasm. I did this twice and each time that I came I sprayed either into or very near her vaginal opening. I had inserted a pessary into her vagina "just in case", so it probably was just as well I had. After the second time I came, I climbed on top, as up to now we had been side to side, and Annette said, "I'm scared." I tried to comfort her and told her that I was not hard and asked her to put her hand down and feel my penis for herself. She did not want to do this so I could see that I was at last going to have what I wanted. To enter that warm wet cavity of Annette's that I had been dreaming about so much. I was erect and she was moist, although tight and I started to push my way into her vagina. She complained that it was hurting her a bit and I asked her to pull her legs up more to try to make it easier. I was not really very worried about her at that stage because I was at last inside a woman. I wondered almost as soon what all the fuss was about because I did not feel the earth move or anything else like that. The feeling was good, but it was different to what I had expected. I had Annette pull her legs up more to her protests that it was still hurting. As she hadn't stopped me or attempted to stop me, I continued thrusting in and out. I had come twice before in the space of less than an hour but I still lasted only a short time before I felt myself coming again. I did not want to get her pregnant on the first time. Although I had used a pessary before dinner, I had not used any more. So I pulled out and thrust up against her pubic bone and ejaculated on her Mon Venus. When I did this, I told her that I loved her, but this was a lie. Of course I was fond of her but I was definitely not in love with her.

I did not find this first sexual experience wonderful; interesting but not wonderful. I started feeling guilty straight away, because in some way I felt that I had betrayed Marion, the woman whom I thought I was "in love" with. I should have felt like another foray into the new world of sexual adventure, but I just felt rotten. I did not want to have Annette around me, not because I did not like her. I had just had my way with her but I was feeling bad about it. Perhaps I should not have but I was. I was too bound up in my own feelings to worry about how Annette felt which was insensitive of me. After all, she had just trusted me with the most precious gift a woman could give to a man and I was not thinking about her at all. I said to her that I needed time to myself and asked Annette to go home.

What I should have done was to ask her to spend the night with me and we should have made love as often as possible. It would have been good for me but no where near as good for Annette. I had a caveman like attitude and a selfish way of making love. I knew nothing about how to give pleasure to a woman or what was important to them like foreplay as I thought that sex was mostly just intercourse. That was the main part; the object of sex or so I thought, but I now know that it involves far more than that.

I sent Annette home, which was a mistake. The first thing that I did was to ring Marion and told her that I had just had my first sexual experience. I did not tell her who it was with but she guessed, and she started crying. This had upset her and she wanted to begin an intimate relationship with me. This is what I wanted and I was pleased that she wanted this. We talked for over an hour on the phone, most of it with her in tears. She also made me promise not to go to be with Annette again, which I gave her.

I did not intend to go and see Annette again the next weekend, but she phoned me and asked me to come around. Of course I wanted to go and see Annette again and I wanted to make love with her again. Marion had gone away for the weekend so I could not go and see her, and I was just at home by myself for the weekend. I thought that if I went and saw Annette it would be likely that we would end in bed together. Forgetting my promise to Marion, I took the pessarys with me and biked around to see Annette.

I was expecting Hermine to be there but she was away for the weekend so we were alone. I wanted to make love with her, and obviously she did with me, because she was extra friendly towards me, more so that she had been in the past. We went together into the bedroom and started undressing. Annette asked if we were going to make love, and I said that we were. We continued undressing and got on the bed together. I inserted a pessary in her and with the minimum of foreplay, I mounted her. She was wet, not doubt helped by the pessary. She was much easier to enter than the last time and she did not complain of it hurting her. She moved with me this time and we kissed as we continued. It was a much better experience for both of us but especially for me. Males always get more out of the first times at sex unless the male really knows what he is doing. I definitely did not. I was hoping that what I was doing was giving her pleasure. However, I never asked her if it was ok for her or if she would like me to do anything else to make it better for her. I guess that we were two blind people stumbling about in the dark. I was enjoying myself and I hope that she was. She did move much better than before and responded to my movements and moved with me much more and not away from me like last week. I think that Annette was pleased to be giving me what I wanted and was just going along with the actions. I do not think that she was getting very much pleasure out if it. In other words, I think that she was doing this for me and not for herself.

I lasted a very long time considering that it had been a week but I soon felt close to coming. This time I did not pull out but remain deep inside her. When I came, I tried to get even deeper inside her. I do not think she knew that I had ejaculated inside her. I found that when I had come, I remained just as hard as before and I could continue just as before. I think that I must have continued for at least another five minutes or so inside her but I did not come again. My attitude has changed. I did not feel as much like sex then as I had before and I was also feeling guilty because I had betrayed Marion's trust. I withdrew and lay along side her abruptly. When Annette saw that I still had an erection she wanted to know what the trouble was. At that stage, I could not really tell her what the real problem was as I felt that it was not really the time. I had just has sex with her and you couldn't tell her just after sex that you were going to break off the relationship for someone else. I said that I was fine. I did not even cuddle her and considering what she had shared with me was very insensitive of me. I stayed and had a meal with her afterwards. For some reason I did not attempt to make love with her again that evening. I could easily have had sex three or four times in two hours. I went home shortly after this.

I had to break the news to Annette shortly after this that I was breaking off the relationship for the second time. Annette was very upset by this and I was worried about her. I told her that I would always be her friend and that I would go around to see her still. This is not what she wanted to hear as I think that Annette was in love with me and I was treating her badly. I felt guilty as I usually do.

I never did tell Marion that I went to bed with Annette that weekend. I think that in my head, I justified it by saying that Marion had gone away for the weekend. I had not intended to visit Annette and if Annette had not phoned me, I would not have seen her. This was my justification anyway. Marion did not want me to go and see Annette any more but I explained to Marion that I was genuinely worried about Annette. In fact I was so worried about her over what I had caused to her, that I thought that she could have a wild affair, do herself harm or become a prostitute. I never made another pass at Annette, although I wanted to at times. I think she wanted me to as well. I had plenty of opportunities, but I felt that I had treated her badly enough.

I went and saw Annette several times after this and I used to spend long sessions just talking to her and hoping that I was helping her. It was at one of these times she told me that she was having an affair. She would not tell me very much at the time but I eventually got it out of her. She was sleeping with a married man who lived next door. Apparently, his wife had locked him out one night and as Annette knew him by sight, when he knocked on the door she let him in. He ended staying the night and I guess that he seduced her, as he was far more experienced than I. She would not tell me the exact details, but apparently they were not using any form of contraception and they made love on several occasions. I was glad that she did not become pregnant and I suggested that she went on the pill to avoid any possible pregnancies. I knew that she was at risk and I wanted to cuddle her and say that it was all right. I also knew if I did that, we would end in bed together and made love. This might have been what she wanted, but I felt that it was best if we didn't. Hell! That was hard! Annette turned me on and even when Marion and I were lovers, I could have still had more. I never seemed to get enough.