I was 18 when I first met Ben; he was tall, slim and had extremely boyish looks. He was confident and from what my friends had told me, a bit of a Jack the Lad, whereas I was shy and certainly lacked confidence in myself.
We were both in the RAF, he was a driver and I was a clerk. My friend Susan was going out with his best friend Jeff, and she asked me if I would like to go out on a foursome with Jeff’s friend Ben. I felt that I should decline as I had been going out with a lad from my last posting, and in all honesty I still felt a lot for him. We had really liked one another and I had found kissing and fondling one another very exciting, the furthest I had let him go with me was for him to put his hand in my panties and quickly rub my pussy, and for me to put my hand in his pants and rub his cock but neither of us came.
However, Sheila was my best friend and because I knew deep down nothing could come from my last relationship with us being so far apart, I decided to please her and go out with them, after all what did it matter if I didn’t like him or he didn’t like me.
We went out to a pub not far from the RAF camp, had a few drinks and a good few laughs. I found Ben easy to get on with and he had a fantastic sense of humour. We had gone out in Ben’s car, so once Susan and Jeff had been dropped off, I found myself alone with him. We talked for a while and then started to kiss and cuddle, first very gently and then more and more passionately. He then tried to fondle my breasts but I pulled myself away and made it quite clear that I was not ready for that sort of thing. He understood, and we just carried on chatting for a while before getting out and going for a drink in the NAAFI, where we once again met up with Susan and Jeff and many more of their friends. After a really good evening, we left the NAAFI and Ben walked me back to the WRAF block. Once there we kissed one another gently and made arrangements to meet one another again the next evening.
We met every evening after that and if we had a day off together, we spent it with each other. Ben never gave up trying to fondle me but never complained when I resisted. Did I resist because I thought it was wrong? No, in all truthfulness I resisted because I felt scared. Scared in case he thought badly of me, and scared because I was so nervous of having sex for the first time. After all, I knew he had been with many girls whereas this would be my first time. What if I were not up to his expectations? My lack of confidence in myself was once again showing its ugly head.
After we had been seeing one another for 3 weeks, Ben asked me if I would marry him. I was quite shocked by this because of the short time we had been together, so I told him I would think about it and let him know the next day. That night I barely slept, but I knew I must keep my promise and give him the answer the next day. Finally I decided I would say yes, but years on I realise I had only said yes so as not to offend him. Yes, I really did like him very much, but did I love him? I suppose I tried to convince myself that I did, he was so easy to get on with and indeed was a really lovely person.