Lindsey knew she should dress sexier for their special night, but she didn't really have any sexy clothes, nor the money to buy them. At twenty, she'd never really had a reason to dress that way until now. She'd had a few boyfriends, but not that made her feel the way that Devin did -- and she certainly never felt sexy in her own right. Devin was changing that.
Everything negative she said about herself, Devin countered. She said she was short; he said she was petite. She said she hair that couldn't make up its mind what color it was; he said she had wheat blonde hair that shifted shades in different light. She said she used a lot of eye-liner to distract from her plain brown eyes; he said, she used just enough eye liner to add some edge and flash to her mocha eyes. She said she worked out too much to still have as full a butt and chest as she had; Devin said, "My god, you work out so much you're in great shape but you still have an amazing butt and chest."
All of her self-consciousness was being turned into self-respect, and she loved Devin for that. All of his physical compliments were matched by emotional and intellectual ones. She wasn't shy, she was reserved. She wasn't a bookworm, she was intelligent. She wasn't clinging to her childhood; she was in touch with the little girl inside her.
And for all that, Devin never pressured her to have sex. She loved him for that, too. She was a virgin, and while she had no moral commitment to staying that way, she did have a personal commitment to being the one to decide when she lost it, and to whom she lost it. The easiest way to drive Lindsey to a break-up was to pressure her into sex. Devin hadn't done that for the year they'd been dating, and tonight he was going to reap the reward for that patience.
Originally, when she first decided she was ready to make love to her boyfriend, Lindsey had conceived of a long, romantic evening with a lot of sweet sentiment wrapped around increasing sexual tension. The closer they had gotten to the evening, the less idealistic she had become. When she had called Devin at lunch, she had said, "Okay, I'm too nervous. Forget the dinner and all that other stuff, when I come over, we're just going to do it."
She had felt bold, brash, and more than a little silly, but Devin had not complained. It was true, too. Her nerves were a wreck, and she didn't handle nervous anticipation well. Her pulse raced all day, and her breathing was rapid. Her stomach was so knotted she couldn't eat, and couldn't drink anything but water. It was impossible for her to focus on anything. She wanted this to happen, but she also needed it to get over.
Lindsey had a lot of built-up sex drive. She had all the normal hormones and drives, more than some of her friends she thought, but she had literally never gone farther than kissing and she didn't even masturbate much. She had never masturbated to a point of orgasm. Her drive was super-charged at this point and the thought of finally being so close to release was more than exciting.
Additionally, she was nervous. Devin was much more experienced. He'd lost his virginity at fourteen and had been with several girls. Lindsey knew some of them, and in her estimation they were all significantly hotter than she was. She was sure her naked body would be a disappointment to her boyfriend, and equally certain that her inexperience would make her a poor lover. That fear made the prospect of the night as much terrifying as it was exciting.
When she drove over to Devin's house, lacking sexy clothes, she was wearing tight jeans and a cream-colored short-sleeved cotton top with a low V-neck. Her panties and bra were simple a simple matching set in pink cotton with subtle lacy frills that were more just girlie than they were alluring. She wore her long hair pulled half-back. It was his favorite style, so at least she could do that for him even if she didn't have lingerie or a scandalous skirt.
The walk up his sidewalk was the longest walk of her life. Half of her wanted to run to the door. Half of her wanted to run away. They balanced out into a slow, careful walk. She was trembling enough that her legs felt unsteady. Her mouth was dry. Her heart was pounding. She was about to have sex. With the man she loved.
She could hardly believe it.
Devin didn't make her knock. He'd been watching for her apparently and opened the door as soon as she was close. She looked at the smile on his face and smiled back, even through her anxiety and excitement. On the doorstep, Devin pulled her into an easy embrace and kissed her mouth deeply but softly.
Lindsey felt arousal flame inside her.
"I love you so much," she breathed into his mouth.
"I love you too," he managed to reply through an increasingly wet flurry of tongues and lips. "Are you sure you're ready for this? I don't want to pressure you."
Lindsey clutched at his chest. "Oh my god, Devin, I am so ready."
She was, too. She was still scared of what he would think of her, but she both wanted and needed this to happen. Devin was taller than her. He was not bulked up in any way, but he was cute and in good enough shape. He had dark hair and pale blue eyes. His skin and teeth were perfect. He had a dimple on his left cheek. His hands were strong and clean. She had wanted him badly for a long time. There was no way she was turning back from this moment.
Devin pulled his girlfriend into the house and shut the door. He pressed her gently against it, now kissing her more aggressively. His hands massaged her breasts through her clothes. Lindsey slid her hands up under his shirt to feel the bare skin of his abdomen and chest.
"I've never wanted anybody like I want you," Devin told her, untucking the hem of her top from her jeans.
"Don't be too disappointed," she whispered her breath catching as she felt his hands on the cool, soft skin of her belly.
"In what?" he asked, kissing her throat just under her chin and then kissing just under her ear.
Lindsey made a gentle noise of arousal. Her body had never felt like this before. It was already almost more than she knew how to handle. "In me," he said. "I know you love me anyway, but I know I'm not as hot as other girls. Just please don't be too disappointed."
Devin hoisted his girlfriend by the hips, pressing her against the door with all his strength. Her legs instinctively spread for him, then wrapped loosely around his waist. He bent down to kiss her chest through her shirt. His mouth was open and wet, the kisses obscene enough to soak the fabric with his saliva.