Reality soon found her as she sat in the cab, resting her head against the window. Between her thighs a gentle throbbing still existed, reminding her that what had passed had really occurred. In a way, she was sickened by her actions, giving herself to such a disgusting man; her aunt would kill her if she ever knew. The other part of her, well, was really quite torn. Her mind was blank, and hatred seeped within her veins to her heart, and as tears welled and slipped from her eyes, she realized she could not hate Gabriel for her weakness, but only herself. It was her loneliness in life that threw her into his arms.
She fingered the hem of her skirt, and choked back the tears. She imaged the disgust she felt was somewhat what women who had been raped felt. Yes, she had been willing, but her heart had been stolen. People had sex all the time without feeling anything, at least that is what the magazines she read told her. But if that was all true, why did she know feel like her heart was being torn into two?
The cab driver pulled up outside of her apartment building. She slung her bag over her shoulder, paid the man, and walked out into the night. The doorman met her with a smiling face, which soon faded when he saw the tears. He asked no questions, but handed her a handkerchief. She thanked him, and moved to the elevator, riding up to the fourth floor. She still had some music to face tonight.
She walked down the hall, placing her key in the door, and turning the key. The door opened to silence. Her aunt was asleep. Half of her sighed in relief, the other had wanted her to scold her, and then ask her why she was crying. She wanted to fall into her aunt's arms and sob her eyes out, telling her she had been so stupid, and that she wanted to die.
Mia moved into her room, closed the door, and fell upon her bed. The book bag fell to the floor with a thud, and glancing at the clock, she saw an hour till midnight. The strength left her body, and as her head hit the pillow, she cried her last ounces of strength out into the linen.
In the morning, she awoke to her aunt shaking her, "Wake up! It is time for school!" She was not asking where she had been last night. She woke up groggy, and slowly got out of bed in a zombie-like state. "My! Your eyes are all puffy! Did you forget to take your allergy medication?"
She nodded. There was no use in crying out a broken heart again. She got up, and somehow made it to the shower. After that she somehow made it to school, and somehow found her way through her day. She couldn't remember how she did on her Chemistry test, and even though she had skipped lunch, she didn't realize her hunger. She made her way out the school doors and down the path somehow. She heard someone calling to someone. She kept walking.
A hand wrapped around her wrist, "Mia?" She turned her head slowly, "My God what happened to you?" She looked up at the office secretary.
"N-Nothing." She stuttered out.
"Oh." She did not push, and for that she was thankful, "There was a message for you in the office." The woman handed her an envelope, and a smile, secretly telling her to cheer up.
"Thank you." Mia looked down at the envelope. It was not her aunt's handwriting. She moved off to the gate that surrounded the school's yard, and leaned against it as she torn open the envelope. She drew out the letter, and read:
Mia,
Meet me at my apartment after you get out of school.
Gabriel
She looked up at the sky, and back down at the letter. She shook her head. She shouldn't go. He would probably just... she sighed softly. Maybe he wanted a relationship? Maybe he had made a mistake last night when he told her to leave? Her hopes were growing quickly, and she couldn't stop them. She hailed a cab, and with what seemed like forever, made it to his apartment door. She knocked twice.
Time passed, and she heard someone trip over something and curse. It was him. He opened the door, wearing nothing but a pair of drawstring pants. She felt her stomach twist into a dozen more knots, as it was already in a hundred.
"Come in." He moved back into the room and left the door open. He drew out a cigarette, and lit it as he sat on the couch.
She entered the room, and closed the door behind her. She looked at him as she stood by the door, her legs not having the strength to really set her free. She stared at him.
"Aren't you going to scold me for smoking?" He half-smiled, as if it were amusing him.