This story is based on a really early experience I had. It starts slowly, but that is the point – the time taken meant everything in terms of how I would come to define attractiveness in a man. Please stick with it and don't forget to vote and comment.
I suppose I never really thought about him in a sexual sense until that moment. He had been our neighbour on the other side of our road for about seven or eight years. He was always polite to my folks and unlike all the other adults who lived along the road, always had a nod and a wink for me as well as the time for an intelligent question or remark to accompany the greeting.
As I reached my own going out age, and heading for university we would quite often pass on our way in or out of our houses and enjoy a few words. He always seemed so genuine and to this day I know that he never meant anything more in his remarks.
He was married to a beautiful woman, though she was frosty as hell to me and seemed always in a bad mood. That said, they hadn't been married that long, and I could remember some pretty lively parties and after hours arrivals at his house when he was single.
Then there was that day, just after I had finished my exams and was in that halcyon period before university, where you are blessed with warm days and little obligation. I had a little summer job in the local newsagents, but just a few shifts a week, and on this day, nothing to do until the afternoon.
I decided to take a walk in the park just near my house and bumped into him out walking his dog. He ran his own business, so he was around at all sorts of hours when the regular wage slaves would have their noses to the corporate grindstone. I never really knew what it was he did, but he always had a smile on his face, so I guess he must have enjoyed it.
But this day was different. He looked a bit stressed, but still managed an easy smile when I approached. He asked if I wanted to walk round with them, and with nothing better to do I agreed. More to the point, I think he really wanted some company. As often as I saw him, he was mostly on his own and I think had quite a solitary life.
We talked while we walked, and yet despite a twenty year age difference, I never once felt any condescension in his tone. His conversation was interesting; his joy in my stories was obvious and as we walked I felt all of those waves and greetings over the years were consolidating into a recognisable friendship, given body during this first proper conversation. It was a friendship that was only ours, and with no other people influencing it or introducing us, we were equals in it.
Our walk lasted about an hour and in that time I found out much about him, as he did about me. His past had been an interesting one for someone who was still quite young himself. He had been a professional sportsman when he was younger, wrote articles and books as well as running his own business. His travel stories to Africa and Asia were amazing and I was left with the impression of a man who knew how he wanted to lead his life and had set it up accordingly.
It was only a few days afterwards that I reflected that he had not once mentioned his wife or family in his conversation. We parted with a pleasant smile and I can remember his final words - "Thanks for walking round with me, it was a true pleasure".
It was such a simple phrase, with its sincerity and honesty, but one that left me feeling so good about having been in his company. I drifted through that day, repeatedly coming back to the feeling I had had in his presence. When I got home after work it was almost a relief to be able to chat to my mother and casually drop into the conversation that I had walked with him earlier on. Her comment was that "Yes, he seems like a lovely bloke – always says hello and smiles". It was a mundane comment, but I seemed to need that approval.
Still I wasn't thinking of him in a sexual way. Not that I wasn't tuned into sex at that stage of my life. Quite the contrary – I was really popular with the boys and wasn't averse to stringing a couple along at once. I wasn't sleeping around, but I had done it enough times to have long forgotten my virginal state. I was looking good and had blossomed nicely over the previous year or two. I could pass in clubs as twenty one without any trouble, and had even been photographed out on the town as one of the 'in crowd' that you see in the glossy lifestyle magazines.
As for him, well he was late thirties, still in reasonable shape, but no Adonis. I often saw him in sports kit going to play football or to the gym, so he clearly tried to look after himself. He sported the first signs of that well worn look that men develop at the same time women start to look creased, and it suited him. I rarely saw him smartly dressed as his work was outdoors, but he wore that rugged fashion that looked natural on him even in his scruff. As I said, he was no Adonis, but decent enough looking, probably with hindsight what I would call handsome, rather than beautiful.
A few days went by and I couldn't seem to get him out of my mind. Every time I left the house I looked to see him. It was the same when I came in or was walking up the road. What seemed to be perpetuating it was that when I went out with my own dates and mates, the conversation seemed meaningless. Nobody ever seemed to get to the point, implicitly understand or make the acute observations that we had in our conversation that day. My dates seemed like little boys in men's bodies. I had discovered the true difference between boys and men.
About ten days later on the Friday morning, I saw him leaving the house but walking rather than taking the car. It was like I needed to spend some time with him again, so unthinking, I darted out of the house and as casually as possible 'bumped' into him outside.
"How are you?" was the simple happy greeting that he gave. I smiled and blustered a slightly shy response, saved from any awkwardness by his next question "I'm just walking down to the bank in the village – are you heading that way?"
Okay, so it wasn't planned but it had worked out. He seemed pretty contented just to stroll along with me and with my excuse that I just needed to stretch my legs, hence why I was happy to hang around while he did his banking then take the scenic and longer walk back through the park.
By the time we had got back again, I was utterly captivated by him. My muscle bound boyfriend could have walked up at that moment and I would have been totally cold to him. It was like an epiphany in my understanding of what I liked in men. I had extracted information from him about what his plans were for the next few days, when it turned out his wife would be away visiting friends and family. He had to stay to look after his business, but seemed perfectly happy to have the time to himself.
That night he was going to a local bar in our village and it was here that I dragged my friends that night before we headed for the bright lights of the city. They couldn't understand why we were going there first, but I made some lame excuse about flirting with some rich older men who would buy us drinks and they seemed happy with that. So dressed to kill, we followed my plan.
When we arrived, he was stood by himself and obviously happy to do so, just chatting idly with occasional passers by. After about twenty minutes, I made a big thing of 'accidentally' brushing past him when heading for the loo. His face broke into the warmest smile when I stopped and talked to him rather than simply say hello. With a couple of drinks on board I felt confident enough to ask him over to join my friends and I for a drink.
I could almost read their minds as I walked over with him, wondering what on earth I was doing bringing this guy over. His same languid and disarming conversation, punctuated with teasing and charm soon had them won round. The close confines of the bar allowed me to be a little tactile with him, though beyond one or two almost unconscious touches, he was a total gent. By the time we got up to leave, they had lost all their cynicism about this older guy. He gave us all a peck on each cheek as we said our goodbyes, me last of all. His whispered "Thank you..." as we kissed, lingered in my mind all night.
In the taxi to town, my friends half grilled me about him. As soon as I said he was married they kind of dropped the subject, though with a mocking, "Shame, because you look like you fancy him!" I laughed it off and they passed any further opportunity to grill me. They were right though.
Saturday came around and I decided to invite myself over to see him with a bit of a fib. Clutching a couple of tickets to the opening night of a new bar, and knowing he was on his own, I called round. "What a pleasant and unexpected surprise this is, come in, come in" he asked and ushered me inside. His kitchen was beautiful, but lived in. He sat me down at a small table at the window that had two chairs which enjoyed a fabulous view across the fields and woods behind his house
"I'm just making coffee, can I offer you some?" I took the offer and explained the reason for my call.
"I've got tickets for the opening night of this new place in town and wondered if you would like to come with me. My friends and I really enjoyed last night and you were kind to us with the drinks, so I thought I could return the favour if you weren't doing anything? My mates are at another party, but I think this will be cooler" I blurted out as confidently as I could. After all I had never asked a man out, let alone a married one twenty years older than me. I needn't have worried, as his acceptance was swift and willing.
It was agreed we would take a taxi so we could have a good drink. My folks were away at friends that night so I could head out with my neighbour without what would have been some tricky questions. He called for me at 7.30 sharp as arranged, looking incredibly confident and relaxed in just jeans, boots and a white patterned shirt.