"You just need to do it already," CeCe leaned into me, the alcohol on her breath sharp alongside her
Sweet Like Candy
perfume. "Rip it off like a Band-Aid. Sex doesn't have to be a big deal, Ellie. You're just making it one."
I forced a smile, my heart pulsing over the thumping bass. My gaze ghosted over the writhing bodies and flashing lights. She didn't get it--how could she? CeCe had never been anyone's "little sister." She'd never known what it was like to be the quiet one in the background, constantly feeling like oil forced into a pool of water.
Sex wasn't just a box to check off a list for me. It was supposed to mean something. But "meaning something" wasn't working well for me either.
Maybe that's why I was here tonight--because I was tired of waiting. Tired of dreaming. Tired of being me.
"I'm just saying, you should lose it to someone hot. Like...him." CeCe pointed with her Solo cup to a guy celebrating his big win at the beer-pong table. He was short and muscled, with dark, wavy hair--obviously an athlete of some sort. A quarterback or a...ball...throwee-catchy-man, or whatever sports positions were actually called.
He was good-looking, in a non-conventional way. But even as his eyes strayed across the room, landing on me, and his mouth lilted, my stomach didn't squirm with the butterflies I needed. I didn't want Mr. Short, Dark and Handsome. I wanted... Well, it didn't matter who I wanted. That was never going to happen.
"Want me to go introduce you?" CeCe waggled her over-drawn eyebrows at me, her sequined top catching the light.
I shuffled my feet. "No, it's fine. I don't need--"
"Oh, come on," she cut me off. "You can't just stand here like a wallflower all night. I mean, you haven't even touched your drink."
My fingers tightened around my cup, something I'd only used as a prop for the last half hour. Slowly, I lifted it to my lips, cringing as the taste of what could only be gasoline burned down my throat. How could anyone drink this stuff?
"That's my girl," CeCe laughed when I spluttered out a cough. She took my cup and set it on a nearby table. "Come on. Let's dance."
"CeCe, wait--" I tripped over my borrowed heels as she pulled me across the room. If she thought I was awkward standing on two feet, she'd disown me once she saw me on the dance floor. I halfheartedly tried to yank my arm free while simultaneously pulling my dress down my thighs to make sure I wasn't inadvertently flashing the entire freshman class. What an iconic way to start off college that would be.
CeCe spun me around in the center of the floor, her body moving alongside the beat. Her hips rolled seductively, and her hands smoothed up her curves. Her hair rippled in a cherry-cola sheet down her back. She moved like confidence was hardwired into her DNA. I, on the other hand, probably looked like a fish out of water, flopping and floundering--a thing that needed to be put out of its misery. What was I supposed to do with my hands?
"Put your arms around my neck," CeCe took pity on me. "There you go. And then rock your hips like this." She placed both hands on my waist, guiding my body to flow alongside hers. She stepped closer, her full breasts pressing against mine, one leg slipping between my knees so we were flush together.
I glanced around. Several pairs of eyes had strayed to us, and a thrill ran through my body. Their stares weren't condescending. They were...appreciative. And okay, most of the looks were for CeCe, but still. By the third song, I couldn't help the smile spreading across my face. Tension melted as I threw my head back, feeling the music coursing through me, her warm body swaying with mine.
It wasn't long before our display brought around a group of guys, each jostling for a position behind us. Strong hands grabbed my hips, pulling me back against a hard body. I closed my eyes, letting this stranger direct my movements. It was better this way. If I couldn't see him, I could imagine he was anyone. Even...
No, he was exactly the reason I was here. I needed to forget about Hayden.
My eyes flew open when CeCe's hand loosened from mine. "Wait, where are you going?" I reached for her, but she slipped free, weaving through the crowd. My stomach knotted as I spotted the guy she was heading toward--a smug-looking jerk waving a baggie of white powder like bait.
Panic shot through me. "CeCe, you can't!" She was wild, sure--reckless even. But drugs? That was too far, even for her.
She turned on her heel, waving me off with a smile. "Relax, Ellie," she called back. "It's a party. Go have some fun!"
"CeCe!" I tried to follow her, but the press of bodies slowed me down. It was all I could do to avoid face-planting in these stupid heels. I spun around when I reached the dance floor's edge. No CeCe anywhere in sight.
Heading into a quiet corner, I pulled out my phone, sending her a text when she didn't answer my call. Her Instagram was already filled with pictures of the party. One shot caught me in the background, drink in hand, looking as awkward as I felt. Great. I made a mental note to untag myself later, just in case. Thank God my brother eschewed all things social media. If Adam saw me now...
"Hi," a quiet male voice sounded behind me, and I jumped when a hand touched my lower back. Mr. Short, Dark and Handsome was smiling at me, his teeth glowing under the blacklight. "I'm Ian. You must be CeCe's friend," he said.
I nodded, unable to find my voice. Why was it I got all tongue-tied around guys? I wasn't even interested. Not really. I mean, I guess he was attractive, and maybe most girls would even call him hot, but...
"Do you...want me to grab you a drink?" he asked with a frown. Clearly, he was trying to figure out if I was slow. Or maybe up close, he finally realized I didn't belong here.
"Um," I fiddled with the ends of my ash-brown curls, a nervous tick I'd never been able to shake. "I don't really drink."
"Alright, then, how about we go somewhere quiet." His eyes dipped down my legs, and a lazy smile spread across his face. "So we can...talk."
God, I should have just stayed home. This whole night was a terrible idea. Who was I kidding coming here? I'd much rather be curled up in bed, rereading the final installment of
The Dark Tower
series for the hundredth time, comfy in a pair of sweats. At least Roland never had to deal with best friends ditching him for drugs--or dodge drunk guys who thought muscles and winks made them irresistible.
"Actually, I think I'm going to--" My eyes slipped over his shoulder, and my stomach flip-flopped as my gaze fell on a tall figure across the room.
No. It couldn't be...
Hayden?
Nerves exploded in my chest, and I smoothed a hand down the front of my dress. What was he doing here?
Even in the party's flashing strobes, he stood out like a beacon. His golden hair gleamed under the lights, tousled in a way that was so perfectly Hayden. His fitted jeans sat low on his hips, and his winter coat made him look even more enormous, a stark contrast to the slight fabrics and bare skin all around us.
God, I couldn't stop looking at him. The strong line of his jaw, the way his broad frame filled out his clothes, the hint of scruff shadowing his cheekbones. His bright blue eyes were sharp and restless, scanning the room like he was hunting for something--or someone.