Kaitlyn's April Fools' Joke
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This story is submitted for the
April Fools Day Story Contest 2024
.
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"You drew the short straw, Kaitlyn!"
"Yeah, you get to pull the April Fools' trick this year."
"So glad it wasn't me!" added another voice.
"Now, guys, we need to come up with a good trick for her. Everybody, come on, think of a good one."
Kaitlyn sat stunned in the middle of her sorority group. Indeed, she had drawn the short straw and tradition was the loser had to perform a big April Fools' trick or gag. She had no idea what the rest of the girls would decide but it was sure to be something mean; at least the ones in the past years had been fairly nasty, some of them, anyway. 'I wonder what they'll come up with?' she thought.
After another round of shots, most of the girls were feeling no pain and their giddy voices rose in timbre and pitch. Several ideas were tossed around the group. "We could make her streak the Sigma house!"
"Nah, that's not really an April Fools' gag and anyway, the guys would like it, wouldn't they, Kaitlyn? Your bod is so damn hot."
"I guess," she stammered.
"Oh, it is," shouted another girl, "I'd die happy to have a figure like yours."
"Anyway, guys, keep thinkin'," added another.
Several minutes later and after a few other ideas were tossed out and summarily discarded, Kaitlyn's sorority president Shelly shouted out, "Let's make her ask out a nerd and then she dumps him on the first."
Kaitlyn was stunned. 'That would be so fuckin' cruel,' she thought, 'Invite a guy out and then drop him.' She stood up and, looking at the others, said, "No way! That's just cruel. Won't do it!"
"But if we decide, you'll do it. You have to, Kait. Remember, you're just a freshman and if you want to be a permanent member of this sorority, you
will
do what we decide," said Shelly.
"I'll do what y'all decide but please, pick something else."
Her little plea seemed to have the opposite effect from what she had hoped. The drunk sisters seemed to smell blood in the water and all turned on her. Within a few minutes, the vote was twenty-seven to one she would have to ask a nerd out, get to know him and dump him on April first while telling him it was all for April Fools'.
A short time later she dragged herself up the stairs to her third-floor room. There, a sense of nausea ripped through her as she thought about some guy being teased and dumped. How mean! How could she do that? Her only option was to refuse but she knew from others how such defiance in the past had caused some to be shunned for the rest of the year before being kicked out of the sorority. She liked the sorority and she had made what she thought were some good friends there. But where were they that night and why hadn't they supported her? Maybe their friendships were too superficial to mean anything. Or maybe the alcohol-fueled group psychology had simply won out.
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After a nightmare-filled night, a groggy Kaitlyn went downstairs for breakfast. She was the only one in the dining room as it appeared everyone else was sleeping in or too hung over to face breakfast. She had a cup of coffee and made herself a waffle before heading off to the library.
Saturdays were prime study times for her; no one would bother her and she could spread everything out over one of the large library tables. After sorting out all her references, she started working on a major paper which was due the following week. She worked non-stop for hours and before she knew it, the old clock in the library tower chimed five pm.
'Wow, that sure went by quickly,' she mused to herself as she began packing up her papers, books and computer. Back at the house, she dropped her things off in her room and went nervously to the dining room while wondering if the events of the previous night would be discussed.
"There you are! We were wondering if you had taken off."
"Nope. Working on a major paper due this coming week."
"Well," said another, "You missed our discussion on your April Fools' gag. Since it's only four weeks away, we need you to get to work right away and get a guy."
"But what about Spring Break?" she asked.
"Exactly. That's all the more reason you have to get busy. It's only three weeks of time when you consider the break."
"No, I'll be staying here. My folks are on a vacation and I've got no one at home to stay with so I'll be here."
"Cool. That way you can, like, uh, try to seduce him during the break, too."
"Seduce? I thought I was going to just, you know, go out with him or something."
"No, in order for this to work the best, you should try to get him in the sack. With most guys that wouldn't be a problem but a nerd might freak out, so you'll have to slowly seduce him."
"I don't know..."
"Kaitlyn, you've gotta do it. It's tradition and in order to remain in the sorority, well, you know."
On her way back up the stairs, Kaitlyn was even more despondent. She was supposed to sleep with the guy! She had never had sex and even her dating history was limited to a few single dates in high school where essentially nothing happened except for a few kisses, even at the prom.
Kaitlyn was a single child of two very busy professionals and ended up being alone for much of her childhood. Once she was old enough to take care of herself, she was expected to remain alone in the house while her parents worked. As a result, she never did any afterschool activities or have a group of close friends and was pretty much a loner at school. She had joined the sorority mainly to force herself to meet more people and develop some friendships. However, she had never expected to end up in the situation she was in: being forced to seduce and then dump a guy.
The more she thought about it, the madder she became. This was nuts. This was cruel. This served no purpose but to hurt an innocent person, a person she didn't even know. But if she didn't do it, her life at the house would essentially come to an end. Sure, she could stay and keep her room and have meals but she would be shunned, she was sure of it. Her fees until summer had all been paid and if she left early, her parents would squawk about the wasted expenses. And where could she go so late in the school year?
The stress and worry ended up giving her a killer headache. She swallowed a couple of Tylenol and went to bed early. 'I'll think about it tomorrow,' she thought as she drifted off to sleep.
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Sunday morning dawned bright with a promise of the coming spring. After she had her breakfast, she joined all her sisters in the main ball room for their weekly meeting. Several issues were discussed and plans were made for the upcoming fundraising auction and dance. Right as the meeting appeared finished and Kaitlyn went to stand up, the sorority president spoke up, "One last thing to discuss: Kaitlyn, we've been thinking about it and we're going to assign you your nerd tomorrow. You will need to come with us to the student union for lunch and there we'll find your guy. OK?"
"I, uh, I still don't want to do it. It's not a nice thing to do and..."
"Kaitlyn, I don't think you understand you really have no say in this. We voted and it will be done. Understand?"
"But, uh, do you truly think it is a good idea for us to do this? We could get a bad reputation and..."
"The house won't get a bad reputation at all. This will be a simple little arrangement between you and the nerd and no one will be the wiser. So, are you in or out?"
With her back to the wall, the fire in Kaitlyn was snuffed out. She nodded meekly and was told to be at the SU at noon. The three members of the sorority board would be there and point out the guy she was to pick up.
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With her stomach in turmoil, Kaitlyn walked up the steps to the student union a few minutes before noon on Monday. She easily found the three girls from the board committee sitting at a table in the middle of the cafeteria. They all had small lunches and coffees in front of them. She was offered food but her nerves and nausea wouldn't let her eat. She glumly shook her head 'No' and sat with the others.
"Now, Kaitlyn, we've been looking around here and there are plenty of good candidates, so many that we probably won't be able to pick one victim. Look at that table over there. See the two? They'd be OK. And over there are three sitting together. We've been trying to decide and Becca likes this guy," she said while pointing to a short, skinny guy, "Ginger thinks that one over there should be the one and I'm not sure yet which one you should end up with."
"Look," Kaitlyn said with as much nerve as she could muster, "If you're gonna make me do this, then I think I should have a say in this."
