We have all said it. "If I was eighteen again and I knew then what I know now"
But what would we have done differently?
For a start I would not have gone out with my first girlfriend. Oh she was nice enough, and we had a good time and learned a lot from each other, but since I wouldn't have to learn it again I might as well go for a different experience.
You see I met her (Penny) at a party, but only later found out that a different girl (Jill) who I fancied, had come to the party hoping to see me. I have often wondered what would have happened if I had chatted to her instead. Because I went with Penny I never got a second chance with Jill. She ended up marrying her first boyfriend, whom she met about a month later. He was a church going hypocrite, who I know has having sex with her well before marriage, even if they did settle down and have three kids, and she ended up spending a boring life between church and the school run. Such a waste of a bright beautiful girl.
Of course if I was back to being 18 I would still be at school, and still have to live with my parents, and still have no money. But with what I know now I could breeze through school, get on better with the old folks and I would be prepared to work and take risks to make some cash, instead of being the typically lazy teenager I had been first time round. Knowing the Derby, Football League and FA Cup, and World Cup winners would also help. (Gambling, and alcohol are both legal at 18 in the UK)
Still I would not have changed my parent's attitude to sex, so I would need to sort out a place to take girls once I charmed them with my mature and devastating personality. Again 'what I know now' (i.e. That one of my school friends became a swinger who invited me to join his girlfriend in a threesome when I was twenty one) would help. His house was not far from the girls school and both his parents worked, so we would be undisturbed on the afternoons... a frank chat, with the hint that if he let me use his spare bedroom to seduce girls I might get one to do a three way with him would set me up nicely.
So if I could go back, when would be the time to choose? February 1980, last year of school, my parents are away for the weekend, my friends have been at my house all day for a jam session and the girls are about to arrive for that fateful party. Just like last time, except this time there would be white wine in the fridge, the house would be clean and tidy, and I would have taken a little time to do some personal grooming. I would have also sorted some snacks and appropriate music, and arranged the furniture. It would all be just a little bit better. So what would have happened? What story could I now tell about that party, and the events that followed....
When the doorbell rang I was ready to welcome them in. First on the doorstep was Jo, a sharp girl in every way, skinny, witty, natural blonde, not a curve on her. Bossy as hell, and definitely on my hit-list for later. Behind her was Charlotte, a short round girl with glasses, funny and charming, but we never had a spark. Her friend Alison was close on her heels, a tall redhead with a strong square jaw who I thought was a selfish mare, and she didn't think much of me, but the last two from that carload were the important ones. Penny, a quite gorgeous little brunette, and Jill, who I had fancied for ages. She was tall and slim, but not skinny, with a bright broad smile and sparkling eyes, a charming laugh and such beautiful hands that I used to dream of them.
I welcomed each girl in turn, taking a moment to admire Penny (and remember what she had looked like a year later, kneeling naked on the floor of the bathroom, sucking my cock for the first time as my anniversary present) but when I looked into Jill's eyes and said "Hello, come in, can I get you a drink?" and she smiled back, I knew that I had made the right choice this time.
I broadened the invitation to all the girls, ushering them in to the living room, introducing them to the guys that were there, explaining that the others had not yet arrived but there should be several car loads more on the way, and delegating one of my friends to start pouring wine. I ran that party so well that night, playing the charming host, and ensuring that my friends had enough but not too much to drink, the music kept pace with the mood, and nothing got broken. But I kept close to Jill as much as possible, and even allowed Penny to flirt with me just enough to make Jill a little jealous. I charmed her.
I took her jacket, got her a glass of wine, engaged her in conversation, showed her the rather cool Korg synthesiser that one of the band had just bought (she played piano, it was an easy excuse to keep talking) got a plate of nice stuff to share when we had supper later on (she even volunteered to help me prepare stuff) and did the food flirting thing, popping a grape into her mouth. It let me touch her lip with my finger, and I held her gaze and smiled. She glowed.
Another glass of wine, some dancing, a moment in the hallway to cool down and catch our breath, I took her hand to lead her back to the dance floor, and after the next few dances, ever closer and just a little more daring, a touch on the shoulder, a lean in close to say something over the noise, I took her hand again to lead her to the kitchen past Jo and my friend Owen who were attempting to remove each others lips by mutual suction power. We slid past the kissing couple, me giving Jill a meaningful glance, and over to the fridge, where long cool drinks of citron presse were downed. Her face was flushed from dancing, a little perspiration sheen as if we had just had sex, and as I took her empty glass I stepped in close and looked down into her eyes.
"I am glad you came tonight." I said, "I was hoping you would."
She looked a little coy, and said "Why?"
"Because I was hoping I might have a chance to talk to you, and dance with you and maybe to kiss you." Her smile and uplifted head was all I needed to see, and our lips met lightly. A second kiss, and a third followed, each a little more confident, a little more open, a little longer. Gently, not rushing to 'snog' as teenage culture called it.
The fourth kiss was longer still and I felt her relax in my arms, I was holding her close now, and could feel her body warm against mine. I pushed her back a little against the counter beside the sink, and let her droop a tiny amount so my knee was pressed a little between hers. I kept the kiss long enough to use up all her breath and pulled away gently so she could take in some oxygen. I could feel her body respond, a little dizzy, her heart thumping as I held her firmly and looked into her eyes again.
"That was very nice," I said, "Would you mind if I did that again?"
"Please, " was her reply.
We were disturbed a few minutes later by Owen. And Jo. She made some typically catty remark, but Jill just stuck out her tongue at her, and draped her arms round my neck before kissing me again. A good sign.
"Shall we go and dance?" I asked, and without waiting for a reply dragged her back into the living room where Bat out of Hell was being replaced by Judie Tzuke. We joined the slow dancing couples, and I gently explored her back and shoulders with my hands, and the nape of her neck, while occasionally brushing her cheek or ear or neck or lips with mine. It wasn't fair really. Between the rush of hormones and the drink and the flattery and the confident and yet unthreatening way I handled her, along with the music and the company, she was almost trembling with previously unexperienced emotions. She was on the verge of lust.
I had imagined that my seduction of Jill would take weeks. I knew she had never had a boyfriend before, and expected her to be shy and wary and that it would be a long time to get more than a kiss, since that was how Penny had been. But I knew that if I played this just right I might well get a lot further right now than I had planned.
"Are you ok? Would you like to get some cooler air?" I asked. She seized the opening and said "Yes" as she moved towards the door to the hall. We had to pass the chair in which Lenny was sitting with Penny on his knee. They were kissing with their eyes closed, and I noticed her put her hand on his to stop it moving up from her knee. Lenny and Penny, I thought, that one won't last.
In the hall I took her over to the door, going to open it to let in the cold winter air, for the house was oppressively hot, but she took my hand and pulled me toward her instead. She was standing at the bottom of the stairs, and she grasped the front of my shirt as she kissed me, then stepped up one stair and did it again, then stepped up again. I had to step after her to keep in reach. When we got to the top landing she looked around and said "Which one is yours?" I nodded to the bedroom door on the right.
She stood in the middle of the room (which was much tidier than I would normally have kept it) and looked around.
"I have never been in a boy's bedroom before" she said
"I have never had a girl in my my bedroom before" I replied.
She laughed, a beautiful light laugh, that got suddenly richer and deeper as she stepped towards me and said "So what do we do now we are here?"
We kissed, I hugged her to me, and with one hand on her shoulder blades to crush her breasts against my chest, I pushed down on the small of her back to push her hips against my thigh. I held the kiss until she ran out of breath and had to throw her head back to get air, which allowed me to kiss her neck, and slide my mouth down to her throat.
