Rare Ice Storm Breaks The Ice
This story explains how in three hours time I transitioned from a straight, heterosexual man into a total bottom beta boi. It was quite a night!
I live in the southeastern United States. We don't get too many freezing days or nights here and we rarely see any real snow or ice storms. A few years back we had one of those rare ice storms. It was a Wednesday night and the forecast called for ice, which meant that every road would shut down early in the evening.
I had a business meeting the next morning in the big city that was a few hours drive from my house. I decided to leave early in the afternoon. I didn't want to get stuck on the bad roads. By the time I arrived, the roads were almost impassable. Cars skidded along the roadway as helpless drivers hit their brakes and sent themselves into other cars and off of the road.
I made it to my hotel. I liked this hotel because it had a bar and restaurant in it. I looked forward to getting inside and hunkering down for the night. As I parked my car, I popped the trunk and didn't see my overnight bag.
In my haste to leave, I left it at home. I figured I could try to grab a change of clothes in the morning when the weather was better and the hotel could supply me with toiletries. I parked in the deck and checked into my room.
I asked the clerk what was the dinner special for the night.
"Bad news", he said.
"What?", I responded with some surprise.
"Bar and restaurant are closed. Ice on the roads. No one could get in here," was his reply.
I clearly wanted a few drinks after my long drive and didn't want to miss one of the big college basketball games on tv so I asked him if any place was open.
He motioned out the lobby windows to a park across the street and said, "there's a bar over there that always seems open." He chuckled a bit as he said it.
"I'll give it a try", I responded.
So I cut across the park and skidded onto the sidewalk. Ice pelted my face and I couldn't feel my ears. The "OPEN" light was bright and welcomed me as I puled on the front door to the place. I couldn't even see the name of the joint and the floor to ceiling windows were covered in fog, hiding what waited for me behind them.
The warmth from inside the bar welcomed me from my freezing escapade across the park. The music was low. No sports on any tvs. A few patrons sat at the bar and some others sat at some high top tables scattered around the room.
I sat down and ordered a beer.
The bartender said, "I can serve you this one drink but we are calling it a night."
"Thanks", I said.
I glanced around the room and noticed that it seemed like it was all guys in the place.
The bartender noticed my purview of his patrons and asked me, "you know what kind of bar this is, right?"
The lightbulb must have appeared over my head to him as soon as he finished his question.
"I do now", I said.
He laughed and said that some of the others were headed around the corner to another bar.
"I think it's drag show night over there if you're into that kind of thing", he smiled.
I asked him if that place at least had a tv for the basketball game.
"I think Larry has a tv behind the bar. You will be fine to watch the game there", he suggested.
I gulped down my beer. I wanted a couple more drinks and decided to brave the elements once again and brave the surroundings I would enter.
I hustled around the corner. I found the place and gingerly walked up some brick steps to get into this bar. It was way louder than the last bar. Smaller too. More like an alleyway than a big, wide room.
There was a small stage near what I figured was the back of the bar. It had a curtain, lights, some amplifiers and some microphones on stands that looked like they were straight out of a 1970s variety show.
I scoped out a spot at the bar near the one tv. Larry was the bartender because that is what was on his name plate on his shirt and as I sat down, he looked at me and said,
"That seat's taken. The one to your right is open."
"Gotcha and thanks", I said.
Larry slid a coaster across the bar to me and I said, "Bud draft". Larry poured my beer and I adjusted myself on my barstool to settle in for the game.
The game started and I feel this person walk behind me and past me. He didn't have to elevate himself to get on the stool next to me. He sort of slid right onto it.
He was at least 6'7" and looked like a good 260-270 pounds. He didn't have quite a buzz cut but his hair was short and dark. He had a close beard. He looked like an offensive lineman.
I am about 5'8" and weigh about 150 pounds. My waist is about 29". I have bushy brown hair. We couldn't have looked more opposite.
My team turned the ball over and my man next to me cheered. Clearly he was rooting for the other team. I murmured something to myself about my team's perennial ineptitude and he turned to me and said,
"Your team has looked pretty good this year. I think they can make the tournament."
"I thought we had a solid chance too. This game isn't starting so well", I replied.
"I always support my school. I played football when I was there. I didn't want to watch the game at my apartment but this shitty weather closed everywhere else. Larry has always interesting people at his bar", my man laughed.
Just as our conversation had started, a Madonna look alike walked up to us and asked us if we were ready for the show. I had almost forgot where I was.
The drag show was starting soon. I figured I would leave at halftime if that show was too much and disturbed my game watching. My man spoke with Madonna for only a moment and she was off to another couple of fellows at the bar.
My man asked me, "you here for the show?"
"No, just this game. My hotel over there's restaurant and bar closed because of the storm."
An announcer jumped on stage and called all of the girls to the dressing room to get ready to start the show. Madonna came running towards that back area and bumped into me, spilling her red wine all over my shirt and pants.
She grabbed some club soda from Larry but it didn't help the stains. She apologized profusely and offered to buy me a drink.
I had forgotten my overnight bag and had my early morning meeting. I was screwed. I didn't know if I would have time to get some other clothes.