I Wanna Be Bad

Now I've never been the type to step out of my so called 'comfort zone'. I've always been told what's lady like and what was not. This upbringing controlled my life, was my guide for every single thing I did, every single solitary day. From the moment I awoke to the moment I fell asleep, in my empty cold bed, the only company was the romance novels I had read. This little world I faded into, was my only console from a world of so many things I had been deprived of and my gateway to a world of passion and pleasure (These things I truly never experienced).

How old would you think I was? Thirty? Forty? Not quite...try twenty-two. In high school... I didn't even get to go to my prom! My mother told me that prom was nothing but a night based on seniors dancing, drinking, and fucking. But despite that, I snuck out of the house that night to go to a hotel party, from which I had lost my virginity...and it was a horrifying experience but that didn't stop my sexual exploration...I tried and tried until I just gave up about two weeks ago. Sex wasn't good to me, so like any sensible human being...I stop doing what I didn't like.

It was all the same, gentle touches, soft kisses, but whomever touches or kisses aren't anything like what they've been depicted in my stories, or in my wildest dreams. And when I told my best friend, Shawn... he could have sworn I was sick. He'd just touch my s. They take me, yet I hate they way they forehead and snicker at my odd discomfort in my experience.

"Everything you do with a nigga, is garbage, Sid?" He said raising an eyebrow with is murky green eyes staring through me. His posture was nothing less than relaxed as we sat in a booth of some restaurant in the downtown area. Shawn was an incredibly fine looking man of 24, his skin was light but because of athletics, he was tanned by the summer sun, skin bronzed to a cinnamon color. His hair was long enough to braided and the hang time touched the bottom of his neck...and as for his body, Adonis paled in comparison... built from his broad shoulders to his ankles. Just to think this image might have haunted my dreams for many nights but nor did he seem to notice me in such a way. To him I was just Sidney, affectionately known as Sid in his eyes.

"Well," I sighed heavily, wiping my now fogging glasses from the steam coming from my coffee as he gave me this wince. "I don't know what's wrong with me..."

"Tip one," Shawn started taking my coffee away and drinking half of it in a few gulps. "Coffee kills ya, stop drinking' this shit." He laughed, leaning back more with those cat eyes of his staring into my light brown ones through my glasses. "It tastes like mud. Tip two, I don't think it's you that has the problem...it's they dun know how to handle you. Your man's ultimate challenge, the woman that canna be tamed."

"How can it not be me? I've tired all sorts of guys, different ones but I didn't like any of it." I then looked around nervously, hoping no one was listening. "Maybe I should go to my doctor ...or better yet get a psychologist." I said staring at my manicured brown fingers as they came to rest in my lap.

"Yo, Sid my nig...since you feelin' kina shitty. I'm coming over later..." He grinned and shrugged. "I haven't hanged wit cha in while, maybe we can watch some movies or somethin, ya know?" I waved him off as and let my elbows fall on the table.

"Whateva..." I knew how this was gonna go...me and him were most likely going to watch music video's while he was drooling over the video girls.

~Later on at about 9:30pm~

I was watching T.V. on the couch when my doorbell rung, and I sighed as I got up to answer it. On my doorstep stood Shawn, in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and I felt so bummy in my baggy gray jogging suit. One look at me, made him shudder in disgust and he shook his head.

"Well Goddamn, I see why you got sex problems and shit...you in that will make a nigga's dick soft." He then gave me the second glance; it didn't do a thing for my curves but cover them and make me look puffy. "Oh hell naw, take that off." Oh another thing about Shawn, he had a cussing problem since we were eleven. I simply walked upstairs as he followed close behind... he hated when I looked a hot mess around him.

When we got to my room, he automatically darted for my dresser drawer and started to pull out random pairs of pajamas until he came to a black tank top and a black thong with pink pinstripes as he mumbled about how my puffy gray jogging suit should have been burned.

"No! I can't wear that... it's underwear!" I said as his now bluish green eyes looked like he was trying to burn off my clothes.

"Look, if you put this on. I'll take my clothes off so that we both are in our underwear. Cool?" I gulped, oh sure...he'd be half naked. So I changed in my walk in closet, by the time I walked out he already was in his navy blue boxers and he smirked in satisfaction.

"See, now that's what I'm talkin' 'bout." Being in my underwear, in front of him... eyes licking over my body had my skin feeling heated, but in embarrassment or desire? It was hard to say.

"Yeah, yeah. Shut up damnit, I wish you stop ogling me." I said trembling from the traveling of his gaze. I could see those lips curl up slightly in the corners, those same nice lips that I wanted to taste right about now.

"Oglin', BG? I'm just looking 'cause you look good." Then I saw him move from his position of being propped up by his elbows to sitting on the edge of my bed with a musing expression, showing off his toned solid abs. Of course, he was confident in his body. HE HAD EVERY RIGHT TO BE... he looked like some kind of sex god lying on MY bed looking at me like he wanted to eat me or maybe he'd noticed how small my breast were. Then he stood up and loomed over me in height, and his fingers pinched my glasses and slid them from my face and for the first time in years, his cool veneer seemed to fade from his face.

"No I don't. I'm too bottom-heavy." It was true, I lacked in the chest department but in the back...I made up for in ass.

"Your eyes are light brown..." He said lowly as he searched them with those multi-green eyes, gleaming with this kind of mixture of wonder and laughter. "And you ain't bottom heavy, you just blessed in certain places." He said peering over my shoulder, looking at said place no doubt. I guess this made me feel a little sexy coming from him.

"I guess."

"You guess? Naw... it's true. I like it like that." To emphases this, his hand reached down and roughly grabbed me, now I thought I was going to melt into a puddle of heat...seeing I had never been handled this way before and I liked it. He noticed my body grow tense and before letting go, he gave my ass another squeeze. "Well damn," he started. "I think I found the problem with ya sex life, Sid. It's exactly what I thought. They wasn't putting it on you like you like it."

Before I had anyway say in the manner, I was placed on the bed with him in between my knees with both arms on either side of my thighs. "Shawn, what the fuc-"

"Let me make my case though." And he knocked me flat on my back and our bodies so close together nothing would fit between us. His mouth found mine and let's say it wasn't like kiss I've had. It was hard and experienced, not the soft sloppy one's I was rather used to. But I didn't struggle, if I did it would be hopeless. His tongue had mine pinned in my own mouth as his hands roughly kneaded my breast in his hand, extracting some muffled moans from me as his tore his lips away and he pushed my tank top so it was exposing my chest, his mouth harshly enveloped one of my nipples.

"Shawn..." I started to say but he took the hard nub between his teeth and pulled. I cried out, why couldn't he just take me...I wanted it! My thighs clamped around his hips as I tried to grind against him and to my satisfaction I felt his dick twitch in his boxers. He grabbed my hips and pushed them down on the bed so I couldn't do that again. He flicked his tongue over it and he pulled away from my breasts to focus on the last moist, piece of clothing coving me, those infamous green eyes were clouded over and dark. "S-Shawn, why are you doing this?" I wasn't able to maintain a steady voice, it was too hard to think or speak with this ache burning between my legs.

"You should stop worrying so much." He said as he began to slide my thong to my ankles, okay if he didn't just fuck me right now, I'd jump him myself! Shawn sensed my eagerness, as my hands roamed over his chest over his nipples then dipping lower. Then I felt him grip my thighs and his body slid sunk down, until my thighs were evenly settled on his shoulders.

I blinked and propped myself up on my elbows to look at what he was doing. He managed to slip his fingers into me easily and he kissed my inner thighs. "You've never been this turned on have you, Sidney?" He asked, oh Lord I loved how my name came off of his tongue like he was tasting wine. I shook my head as I heard him make an interesting noise as his fingers worked into my hot core, slowly in and out. I was soaking wet as he played with my clit with his thumb as his other fingers made scissor-like motions. I let my head fall back and arched towards the ceiling moaning as I rolled my hips to meet his hand, my thighs quivering from his ministrations.

"I can tell, how you fuckin my hand and all."

"Oh shut up." I groaned and he laughed. "You're killing me..."

"I know." And he stopped licking his fingers by the sound he made, I could tell that much with my eyes closed, then I was being flipped over on my hands and knees, my ass in the air as I felt the bed shift behind me. Now I was paying attention, I was about turn around when I felt him pushing his thick hard cock inside me and I gasped gripping the edge of the bed. Okay forget about him looking like a sex god... he was one. He pushed in balls deep and hard and I've never felt like that before, it felt so damn good I felt like I could climb walls, oh believe me...I would if he hadn't been holding my waist.

He was pounding into me hard, each time I wanted to scream...I'm not sure if I did or not. I felt want and need, I don't think I felt so desired in my life. He gave a new meaning to good sex; he had me in a back door screaming every time he hit my spot. The first time I came, he paused and started laughing, most likely because I came before he did. But did that stop him? Not at all, because he gave me a break as he slowly moved in and out of me. Then after a few seconds, he went back to beating the brakes off my pussy.

I think I was seeing stars or some shit like that, all I know was that I couldn't see to clearly. If you had ever been hit in the eye hard and saw a bright flash...it would have been like that. I'm sure my neighbors could hear me screaming, seeing a though my condo was so close to theirs. Then he hit my g-spot so hard, anything I might have been thinking was wiped from my mind and for the first time, I stopped thinking and felt.

"Fuck, Sidney..." I heard him groan once stuffed my fist in my mouth. His twitched as I came again this time I had brought him with me. His hot cum filling me in loads, squirting like jets. Once it was over, we both were panting like dogs in heat. "I proved my case." He then pulled me with him, slipping under my covers and started doing some stuff with his fingers, like tracing the curve of my hips with his fingertips. I found it odd how we from rough sex to him tracing curves of my body like we were together.

"You did, didn't you?" I said feeling the sleep-induced toxins starting to sway me into sleep, I cuddled close to the heat of his body and yawned and right when I fell asleep.

*DING DONG*

I shot up from my position on the couch and looked at the clock to find that I had fallen to sleep. I looked down at myself to find I was wearing that ugly hideous jogging suit. So it was a dream...but it felt so concrete. Then the doorbell rang again followed by his voice.

"Sid! I know yo' ass is in there!"

"Um...you have a key! Just go sit in the living room, I'll be down there!" I said running upstairs and taking off that puffy piece of shit. I was going to have to finally change this whole bad streak I've been having.

~Minutes Later~

I could hear the music through the house and as I came down the stairs, I could hear that song by E-40 (U and Dat I think that's the name) and I felt like I could seduce any man with a switch of the hips. He most likely bought the CD since it was uncensored. And when I stepped into the room, he stopped krumping and looked straight at me in awe.

"Ah...holy shit, Sid. Did I come at the wrong time? Do you have someone over or something? Is this 'How Sidney Got Her Groove Back'?" I must have looked good; I heard the shaking in his voice. I had on my thong from my dream and black and pink pinstriped suit jacket, finishing them off with my glasses and a pair of wet black 5'inch heeled pumps.

"No. You. And it could be." I said with my weight shifted on my right leg and my hand on my hip. I slowly removed my glasses and threw them into the couch and I saw him grin, raping me with his eyes. I seemed to arch under his gaze, looking like the cat that ate the canary and took him by the collar and pulled our bodies together.

Fuck being lady-like, I wanna be bad.