I had the afternoon off and instead of going straight home I wandered over to a nearby park to have lunch and a cold one, relaxing in the sun. I was sitting leaning against a tree near the path. Between me and the path were some bushes and a bench.
It was obvious that the young couple on the bench hadn't spotted me lounging around under the tree. The park was relatively deserted and they were making all lovey, dovey on the bench, kissing and sweet words and all.
Without actually turning voyeur and rubbernecking at what they were doing I had to guess what 'and all' covered, but from the giggling and little slapping sounds and heavy breathing I could hear I could make a fairly good guess. That's why I wasn't too surprised when the following conversation grew between the loving couple. I wasn't taking notes so I can only give you the gist of the conversation. It went something like this.
"Sweetie, I'm ready. Really I am. Why can't we go behind the bushes for a while and you know. . ."
"We can't. It's broad daylight. Someone would see us. Anyway, it's not long until the wedding. It'll be all the better for having waited."
"But I've waited long enough. I want to do it. Nobody will notice us behind the bushes and I really need it. I want to know what it's like."
"And you will. Just be patient. You know we agreed to wait and besides, I promised Mama I'd go to the altar a virgin. You wouldn't want me to break a promise would you?"
"She'd never know. It's not as though we're going to tell her what we do in our private moments."
"Still, a promise is a promise. Like I said, it's not long to the wedding and it will be all the better for having a little self-restraint."
"I don't want self-restraint. I want self-satisfaction."
That comment was answered by a shocked gasp. I nearly gasped myself. What struck me as funny about the entire little argument was it was usually the guy begging to get laid and the girl holding him off. This was the first time I'd heard a girl asking and the guy fending her off. My thought was on the subject was "Pansy. Mummy's boy, first class."
They went back and forth on the subject for a few more rounds with him standing firm and her sounding frustrated. Then he was pointing to the time and saying he had to go or he'd be late back to the office. Was she going to walk back with him?
It turned out she was not. She said she was just going to sit in the sun and cool down a little before she went. She had plenty of time. There was some more smooching and lover-boy departed, eager to put his nose to the grindstone while his frustrated fiancée moped on the bench.
I gave the young lady time to make a departure (and time for Romeo to make himself scarce) but she just lounged on the bench grumbling to herself. Finally I decided it was time for the hero of this little story to make his appearance.
I hopped up from under my tree and wandered around the bushes to look over the young lady. And a very lovely young lady she was. Dark of hair with very blue eyes. A nice little figure, not overblown or anything, just right for a man to cuddle. Dressed for the weather in a short skirt and loose blouse. There was just enough breeze in the air to blow the loose blouse against her and outline her treasures.
"Afternoon," I said, smiling. "Too nice a day to sit there with a frown on your face. And your name is?"
She gave me the once over before answering, but I'm a harmless looking sort of gent. She smiled and replied.
"Alison."
"I'm Zeb," I informed her. "Short for Zebediah but no-one calls me that. The last man to call me by that name we had to bury."
"Really?" she said with a giggle. "And what about the last woman?"
