I undid his pants and took off my shorts and slowly climbed on top of him. I was a little worried about it hurting because I had heard so many stories of how much it hurt and how sometimes girls would bleed their first time. I gritted my teeth and braced myself for some pain. Nothing happened.
I wasnโt sure at first if he was even in me because I didnโt feel anything. I want to make sure I stress at this point that James was a pretty good guy and I had loads of fun hanging out and talking with him. The only problem was that he was terrible at sex. I pretended it did something for me, though, because he seemed to be enjoying himself.
After we parted for the afternoon I went home with mixed feelings about what I had just experienced. I was partly excited about losing my virginity to someone as sexy as James, but also terribly disappointed. I decided that maybe it just wasnโt a good day, and that I would give him another chance before I gave up on a good first sexual experience.
In the weeks to come I would give James three more chances to prove himself, but they were all bad. I was still madly in love with him, but I wonder how much of that was real love and how much was infatuation with the person who I had my first intimate experience with.
* * * * *
I stayed friends with James for only a few months after our first afternoon together. Iโm not sure what happened, but we drifted apart. I always blamed it on him, because it seemed like he was pushing me away. Hardly a day went by that I didnโt think about him and let my unprovoked hatred for him fester. A few years later our paths were pushed together by a friend we shared. We had both grown up and learned a lot during our time apart, and we picked right up where we left off. On our second date we wound up in bed together, and it was amazing. I donโt know who taught him what he did to me that night, but they have my eternal gratitude. We have been seriously dating for a year now, and I am certain that he is the one I want to eventually marry.