Look, being a freshman is hard. And lonely. And if you badgered me enough I'd have to admit I spent a lot of time alone in my room, hoping the roommate I'd been spending my days trying to get to like me couldn't hear the suppressed moans escape my mouth as I thought of all the ways I'd rather be
less
alone. I'd think of the boy that made my vanilla latte that morning and the way his voice wrapped around my name. Or the girl I sat next to in intro chem; her fingers aimlessly tracing the edges of her notebook. Or how it would feel to have every greasy guy playing hackysack on the quad take turns between my legs...
I've been home from my first year of college for a week now. I was definitely sad to hear my family had opened the pool without me in May, but now that I'm back it's like I never left. For as long as I can remember, I've spent every day of the summer, or spring as long as it was warm enough to not wear a jacket in Indiana, in the pool. By the second week of June my tan lines are usually embarrassingly obvious, and by those standards I'm late this year.
So until the rest of my friends get back from school, it's me and the pool: All day, every day. If not making enough friends at school and staying in most nights taught me anything, it's that I don't want to be stuck inside. The sun feels so fucking warm on my skin. When I'm home alone, I can usually muster the courage to at least untie my top. There's something totally forbidden about being naked outside, even if I know nobody will be home for a few hours. It's gotta be the fact that it feels so wrong that makes it so good.
I'm laying face down, my newest worthless fantasy book splayed in front of me and the strings of my bikini top laying loose on either side of my back, when I hear the kitchen door slide open.
"Lucy, hey! Welcome home. Is Connor here?" A chipper voice breaks through the haze of soaking in this much sun. It's Wyatt, my younger brother's friend. He's not usually who I see Connor with, but maybe they've been hanging out more since I left last fall.
"No," I say, craning to look at him as I wrap the strings of my top back around me, "I think he went downtown..."
But I saw Connor leave pretty early this morning. "You can hang if you want?" I suggest, "He'll probably be back soon." It seems worth a try; I know I look good in the sun, and Wyatt's cute enough for me to want company.
"Oh, okay! How have you been? Good to be back?" He moves from the doorway, landing reclined in the lounge chair next to me. He seems chill.
"Pretty good, I'm kinda alone until everyone gets out of school. But this isn't too bad," I smile, gesturing at my book and body.
On cue, his eyes trace me. "Right... well you look good. Like, really good. College suits you."
I barely think about it before I do it, but next thing I know I'm sitting up, facing him with my top hanging like a necklace. I reach up to fix my hair, careful not to glance down and reveal my nerves: Nobody's ever seen my nipples before. "Thank you."