This episode of my life occurred last year, before Covid emerged and the world changed beyond recognition.
I was in the first year of my English degree -- I'm now in the second -- and had arranged with friends to go to Tenerife. I'm not sure who's idea it was. It certainly wasn't mine, but whoever thought of it, must have had Tenerife confused with Ibiza, Magaluf or Ayi Napa. If you weren't aware, Ibiza, Magaluf and Ayia Napa are the main European holiday destinations for eighteen to thirty-year-olds, whereas Tenerife is reserved those about to retire.
We had no idea what Tenerife was like, but the moment we disembarked the plane, it was clear we'd made a big mistake. We were the youngest in the airport by about forty years, and that isn't an exaggeration. If the lack of anyone our age at the airport didn't set our alarm bells ringing, then it did when we arrived at the hotel. There was only one couple below sixty -- and that wasn't by much. The chance of meeting girls looked as likely as winning the lottery. Still, we were determined to have good time and decided to make the best of a bad situation.
After unpacking of cases and making ourselves at home, we headed down to the pool. The sun was blisteringly and we messed about in the water until dusk, when we headed back to our rooms. Despite having no chance of pulling, we set to enjoy ourselves. So, after showering and changing into our evening gear, we hit the entertainment strip.
There were restaurants and bars aplenty, but none of the clubs you'd find at a party resort. Magaluf it wasn't, but despite having more pensioners more than a British seaside town, we still managed to find a reasonably good bar, even if there weren't any girls. What it did have was good music and alcohol, and my friends drunk like they'd just come in from the desert. Not being much of a drinker, I had a single pint.
As my friends got more and more rowdy, I withdrew to a table by myself. I felt out of place and was about to go back to my room, when someone tapped me on the shoulder.
I turned to see a plump older woman, squeezed into a short black dress. Her tanned legs and ample breasts were on show for the world and she looked up for a good time. Despite her greying hair and worn skin, she wasn't unattractive. Still, she wasn't my type and I greeted her with cordial smile.
"Mind if I join you?" she asked.
"Nah, it's fine," I said, with a disinterested shrug.
She sat down opposite me and looked over at my mates.
"Friends of yours?"
My friends were playing a drinking game that involved one of them consuming a pint of beer followed by a shot of, while the others shouted, 'Down it, down it.' "Eh ... yeah, they are," I said, turning a bright shade of crimson.
She smiled. "Don't be embarrassed. There's nothing wrong with getting drunk and being loud. You're young and allowed to have fun. Still, I'm surprised you came to Tenerife."
"Why?" I inquired.
"Well, ain't exactly Ayia Napa is it?" she replied.
I laughed. "You're right, it's not."
"Still, it could be worse, you could have ended up Los Cristianos," she said, parting her heavily grossed lips in a smile.
"Why's that?" I asked,
"I take it you haven't been there?"
I shook my head.
"Well, let's just say it makes this place look like club eighteen to thirty! Still, they have a water park. Which is odd, as the people who stay at Los Cristianos would literally have a heart attack if they saw a water flume, let alone rode one." As I laughed, she reached for her bag. "Can I get you a drink?"
"A coke would be nice," I replied.
She looked at me cockeyed. "A coke, seriously? You're not planning on becoming a priest, are you?"
"Nah, I'm ... eh ... just not much of a drinker," I faltered.
She smiled. "Don't be embarrassed. I'm not much of a drinker either. That's why I wandered over here. My friends have had way too much and I needed a break. I'll tell you what; why don't we go for a walk?"
I agreed, figuring I could walk with her as far as my hotel and then go back to my room.
