Her Sexual Tutor

Claire thought it was dirty, sinful, disgusting, and felt guilty for having desires she didn't understand. She was raised in a home where church was a two days a week routine. She never saw her siblings nude, never was told about sex, and she actually didn't know where babies came from until she was eighteen and in a health class in college. She was not allowed to date, was always made to stay home and not socialize with other kids her age, and she was kept from seeing books with pictures that might give her "ideas", and she was told the body was dirty and dancing was evil and an act of devil worship.

Claire was told by her parents that sex was sin, that she would go to hell if she even thought about such things, and she believed the devil had put temptations in front of us to induce people to sin. When she was nine and the family walked passed a sign advertising an art museum with a picture of a nude statue, her mother covered her eyes, as if seeing it would harm her.

She grew up guarded, silent, reluctant to speak to people for fear they would tempt her to do evil things. She didn't have many friends at school because she didn't trust people. Her parents demanded she be polite, respectful to adults, even if they didn't seem to deserve it, and that she be a good girl in the ways she was taught to be.

When her body started to change, she had impulses that made her feel ashamed and embarrassed her that she had felt. She had a strong temptation to masturbate, but it made her feel ashamed and full of guilt. She hated the feelings and cried herself to sleep at night many times, hating herself for being wicked and sinful and weak.

Her parents were not happy that she wanted to go to college. They thought she should get married, do her duty and have children, be a good wife. Claire even felt guilty that she wanted to go to school, maybe be a teacher, or a nurse. They reluctantly agreed finally, but they made it clear she needed to resist the devil's influence and avoid sinful thoughts and deeds. 'College was the devil's kingdom,' they thought.

It was at college she met Emily. Claire did not have the money for a room off campus, so she applied to the dorm and had a roommate named Emily. She was an energetic eighteen year old who had a mind of her own and an opinion about everything.

She was petite, five three, confident, and attractive to just about anyone with a pulse, male or female. She was liberal in every way, a free spirit, and willing to tell people what she believed. When Claire heard she had a roommate, she was disappointed, but after meeting Emily she couldn't help but like her. Even though she was everything Claire's parents hated, she couldn't resist her new roommate's personality, her enthusiasm.

Emily wanted to know all about Claire, and asked for her life story. Claire had never told anyone about her family, her growing up, and her life in general. She realized as she told Emily the little bit about herself she was comfortable revealing, that her life was pretty sheltered and uneventful and uninteresting. When Emily began to rattle off things about her parents, her experiences growing up, and what she intended to do with her life that Claire's own was rather dull. Emily's parents were modern hippies, full of life and open to new ideas, interesting sounding people, supportive of Emily's interests, and open to new ideas and willing to let their daughter be whoever she was.

They were not particularly religious and let Emily think for herself. She talked about them lovingly and praised them for being caring and supportive parents. They seemed to be everything Claire's parents were not. She began to think of her parent's beliefs as stifling and narrow minded, to see herself as shallow. She began to question herself and her ideas about her understanding of the world.

Emily's enthusiasm for life began to rub off on Claire, and she began to admire her roommate's love of life and curiosity about the nature of things. Emily was comfortable with herself, her body, her sexuality, and her goals. Things Claire had tried very hard not to allow herself to even think about. Claire didn't have personal goals, enthusiasm for much of anything, or an idea about what she really wanted out of life, although her interest in teaching seemed to solidify and take shape around Emily.

Perhaps the biggest difference in the two women was their sexuality. Claire felt guilty about her natural urges, those desires that came to her in the night, the urges she had that she could hardly control, the feelings she did not understand and thought they came right from the devil.

Emily, however, had no such doubts. She celebrated her womanhood gleefully, and masturbated with excitement and pride. One day she came into breakfast and said she must have scratched herself.

"You did what?" Claire asked.

"Last night, I must have scratched myself when I masturbated," she said casually.

"You do that?" Claire asked, amazed not only that Emily would do that, but that she would admit it so openly.

"Of course," she said. "You have to take care of yourself, right? Girl, if you don't do that, you need to get started. Don't tell me you haven't. Really?" she said incredulous.

"Sometimes, but don't you feel... dirty? Like you shouldn't? Aren't you ashamed?" she said.

"Oh, no. My mother taught me when I started to have my period," she said with a big smile. "Sex is not dirty. It is the most natural thing there is," Emily said. "You're not a virgin are you?" she asked her roommate.

"Sure," Claire said. "It is a sin. Aren't you embarrassed?"

"Claire, sex is nothing to be ashamed of. If someone didn't do it, you wouldn't be here," she said.

"But the Bible. It says... "

"Can you show me where it says sex is dirty? Or wrong? Or a sin?" she said. Emily got a Bible from the bookshelf. "See if you can find it in here," she said, handing the Bible to her roommate. "Keep it. Find it. I don't think it does. Keep it for awhile. Show me what you find," she said smiling.

"I was taught that our bodies are sacred, yes, but not indecent. Not vulgar. I masturbate to help me enjoy my fantasies," Emily said with a smile. "Sex can be fun. It should be. If you believe in God, do you think he would have given it to us if it was a sin to do? Don't you think he'd want you to enjoy it?"

She went to her bookshelf and took out a book. "Look at this with me," she said, holding THE JOY OF SEX up to Claire. "This is not a dirty book," she said, opening it to a random page showing a couple involved in lovemaking. "This helps couples learn to enjoy sex. But you don't have to be married to enjoy sex."

"Have you ever... enjoyed it?" Claire asked.

"Oh, girl. We really have to talk," Emily said, taking the book and sitting Claire down on the sofa. "Have you ever looked at yourself to learn about your own vagina?" she asked. She turned to a picture of the female genitalia.

"No," said Claire, as if she been asked if she shoplifted a candy bar.

"Well, honey, we are going to go to sex school." She got up and went into the bathroom, returning with a small mirror. "Take your panties off. I want to show you who you are."

Reluctantly, although more interested than she ever thought she'd be, she stood and slipped her panties down her thighs and stepped out of them. "Now sit on the edge and open your knees, take this mirror and hold it here," she said showing her where to put the mirror.

"You see those puffy lips? Those are your labia," she said.

"Actually, your labia major. The smaller part of them are the labia minor. That little pink bud is your clitoris. That is a most important part of your vulva. It is what you stimulate to give you sexual pleasure. You need to learn how to make that please you," Emily said with a smile.

"I will show you what to do if you want me to," she said.

"Would you like me to show you?"

Claire nodded. "Okay. We'll come back to that. This is your vagina," she said pointing to her opening with a pencil. You can put things in here that will give you pleasure and I'll show you some of those later. They are called dildos and vibrators, and you can masturbate with them. I use mine just about everyday, at night, before I sleep."

She smiled and asked Claire how she was doing. "Okay," she said. "A little embarrassed, but okay."

"Okay," she said. "Right about here," pointing at the top of Claire's vagina, "is where you urinate from. Pee," she said smiling.

"Number one?" Claire said.

"Right," Emily said smiling. "Would you like to see my toys?" she asked.

Without saying anything, Claire nodded.

"Okay. Wait here," she said getting up and going into her bedroom. She returned shortly with a leather bag. "These are my boys," she said with a chuckle. She unzipped the bag and took out four items. She held one up. It was shaped like a banana and curved just slightly. It was smooth and had a nob on one end that could be twisted left or right. It was labeled 'on' and 'off.' She twisted the bottom to the right and then handed it to Claire. It vibrated in her hand and she smiled as she held it in front of her.

"This is my favorite. I call him Andre. Andre is faithful and comes with batteries," she said. "It is important you keep him washed and sterile." She took a tube from her bag. "This is lubricant to help him slide in and out. It is called Astroglide," she said. "Vaseline will work, but this is better. There are brands that come scented and even heated. You will find which you like best," she said.

"I'll take you shopping and you can choose your favorites," she said with a grin. "These are Ben Wa Balls," she said handing Claire a string of beads. "You can keep them in as you work or study," she said with a smile.

Claire looked over the items with interest. She picked up a large rubber penis. "I call him Big Ben," Emily said with a chuckle. "I have grown fond of him, too," she added smiling.

"Would you, ah, show me how to use these?" Claire asked.

"We'll get you some of your own," Emily said. "You don't want to use other people's toys. It is not hygienic," she said.

Two days later Emily took Claire to the sex shop on Wilshire to purchase her some sex toys. Claire was nervous about going in, but she was also excited for the experience. Emily had convinced her that her parents were wrong, that sex was not evil and it was not the devil's conspiracy.

She had read the book THE JOY OF SEX, as well as two online articles about female sexuality and religion. Emily had also given her brochures on groups that held forums having to do with the benefits of masturbation and women pleasuring themselves.

After classes had finished for the day and the two women sat down to eat, Claire said, "One of the articles you gave me was on bisexuality. Have you, I mean, well, if it's too personal, but have you ever been with..."

"Another woman? Well, of course, honey. Women know what women like," Emily said with a wide smile. "Before we suggest that, we need to get you comfortable with your vagina," she added. "Have you been doing your homework?"

Claire smiled, flushed, and nodded. "Well, good," Emily said. "Too fast is not good," she said. "You have come a long way. No pun intended. We will have you sexually well-adjusted in no time," she said. "I am proud of you, girl. With the start you had, you've done miraculously well. To get you masturbating is incredible. I feel like I have built an airplane out of bamboo, glue, and canvas. You know what I mean?"

Claire smiled, shyly, and nodded. "But you still are a virgin. We have to fix that, right?" Again, Claire nodded.

"I have some likely candidates I would like to introduce you to," Emily said. "You can have dinner with each. They will pay. You can see if you connect with any of them. If not, we'll try some more," she said.

"Why are you helping me?" Claire asked.

"You're my project. Everyone needs a hobby. You're mine," she said with a grin.

The first dinner date for Claire was with Garrett. He was out of school, working for the city in engineering. He was, as Emily had said, very charming with an easy humor and "nice eyes." Claire liked him and chatted comfortably all evening. It was pretty much agreed that nothing would happen on the first date. She would spend a night with the three men at dinner, and they each knew and agreed they were being looked at.

Her second date was with Andrew, who was a senior at UCLA. He was a basketball player and was tall and broad shouldered. He had surfer blond hair and an infectious laugh. Besides playing basketball his interests were surfing and marine biology. Andrew was very polite and wanted to know all about her. She felt very comfortable with him and could see herself becoming amorous with him quite easily.

Her last date with the three candidates Emily had picked was with Jason. He was a writer for an outdoor magazine and had the studious look of an accountant, with sexy aviator glasses and a winning smile.

"Can I take them all?" Claire said.

"Sure," Emily said, "just not all at once. That would too much of a shock to your sexual system. We have to bring you along slowly," she said, "like a runner. Too fast could burn you out."

"I think I will go with Jason," she said. "At least first."

"You are liking this," Emily said. "You could become a sex worker. You haven't even had an orgasm you didn't cause, and you're already thinking of a threesome. Way to go, girl."

They looked at one another and smiled, Claire because she never thought she'd ever get to that place in her life, and Emily because she never thought Claire would ever get where she almost was and it pleased her. Emily's roommate had gone from a woman without sexual experience or interest to one who was about to get some firsthand and it amazed them both.

Jason came to the dorm at six. Claire was ready, she had been ready for two hours, and it was the first date she had ever been on. They planned to have dinner, go dancing, and, well, whatever. She liked Jason, felt she might be able to do the things that deep down she truly wanted to do.

She had even learned to masturbate. More importantly, she'd learned not to regret those urges, to not feel guilty about doing it or wanting to. She had learned about her own body, her vagina and her breasts, had looked at and memorized her parts, and she had made decisions about what she would let herself do with Jason, or someone else with those parts. She now felt like a woman, and she was no longer ashamed of being one.

When she left with Jason it was clear they were both nervous, but he had promised Emily he would go slow. Let things move along naturally and not push. If Claire felt comfortable with the situation, he would let it progress, but if she didn't feel right he would stop things and take her home.

At the restaurant she began to relax and by dessert she seemed comfortable and at ease. He got her to tell him about her life, telling about the way she was brought up, her religious background and that she had never been on a real date before.

"I have been a sheltered daughter," she said. "You are out with a pretty dull person," she said, "but I am trying."

"You are doing fine," he said. "The secret is to have a good time and not do anything you don't feel comfortable doing."

"Emily has helped me see who I am," she said, "but that's what she has told me. To see what feels okay and enjoy it if it feels right."

When they finished dessert, they left the restaurant and went to a dance club a few blocks away. Claire didn't know much about dancing, but Emily had given her a few lessons on how to waltz and do a few simple steps. She and Jason sat for awhile and watched the other couples, then finally she stood and held out her hand.

He took it, led her to the dance floor, and they began to dance slowly. It was terribly erotic for her to dance with a man for the first time in her life. To have his body up tight against hers was a tremendously exciting experience. She began to get wet during their first dance and she remained that way for the entire evening. Most of their dances were slow and romantic, as those were the easiest for her to do, but they were the hardest for her to control herself.

By the time their dancing at the club had gone on for a little over an hour, she was ready to jump on him and force him deep inside her. At ten she asked him to take her somewhere quiet.

"You're sure?" he asked, holding her tight.

"Oh, god, yes," she said. "I am way passed sure."

They left the club and he asked her where she wanted to go. "To your bedroom," she said, barely able to control herself.

When they arrived at his apartment, her heart rate was at an all time high. He unlocked the door, ushered her inside, then after closing the door her took her into his arms and kissed her, long and passionate, and erotic. She did as Emily had told her and stood, waiting for him to undress her. She held her arms out to the sides and let him take off her blouse. She then lifted her arms and let a man see her breasts for the first time in her life.

He unsnapped her skirt and slid it down her legs, then put his thumbs under her panties and lowered them over her hips. She kicked them off, then as Emily had told her she moved toward the bed and stretched out on her back, letting him take his place between her legs.

She felt his erection against her puffy lips, and she sighed as he pushed her swollen petals apart and slid into her. "Oh, yes," she said with a moan. He began pushing in and out, moving in before pulling out with steady movements that she was loving. "Why haven't I done this before?" she whispered in the dark.

"Anytime you feel you want it, I will be available," he said.

"Promise?" she said.

They continued without stopping until she had her first orgasm that she hadn't brought on herself. Emily had help her achieve them on her own, but it was the first with another person not seated next to her. She loved the feeling of sex, and regretted letting her parents control her life so and could not believe how much she had condemned sex as she was growing up.

She and Jason continued to have sex for nearly an hour, occasionally slowing and catching their breath, then starting again and picking up the pace until they both had another orgasm and then rested.

"You are incredible," he said. "For being new at this, you are unbelievable." He held her tight, then kissed her tenderly. "I don't know if you'll ever want to do this again with me, but I truly hope so. You are an amazing person, and I am so glad to have me help you."

Claire had done what she set out to do, what Emily encouraged her to do, and after Jason let her off that night she knew it was the right thing. She had learned about sex, about herself, and about life in general. She had gone from an overprotected and unsophisticated woman to one who understood herself and appreciated sex and sexuality.

Without Emily's help she never would have managed it, but the two of them got her on track and to a life she could control and appreciate and feel awesome about. She discovered sex was not "dirty" and could be enjoyed without guilt or shame.

She began seeing Jason on a regular basis and they had sex at least a couple of times a week. Eventually she moved in with him and there has been talk of making it permanent. Emily has been a frequent dinner guest and her personal interest in Claire is apparent.

"You have done well," she told her one night as they were preparing dinner.

"I owe it all to you," Claire said. "If you hadn't been my roommate, I never would have found myself, learned what I did, and acted on any of it," she said.

"I'll take all the credit I can get," she said, "but you are a confident, intelligent woman who has a wonderful life ahead of you. I am just so happy to see you doing so well, and I am thrilled to have had something to do with that. Jason seems to be happy about it too," she said. He truly was, for the rest of her life.