Many years ago, I lived in a small apartment building, the landlord, a friend of a friend, lived on the first floor with his wife and daughter. When I moved in, his daughter Jackie was under eighteen years of age. I would pay her to feed my cat when I was out of town, but, otherwise, I didn't see much of her. I might run into her once a year in the hallway, some years not at all. Once my girlfriend and I passed Jackie in the hallway, and we exchanged hellos. My girlfriend commented on Jackie's good looks, but I kept my own counsel, Jackie was, after all, still a minor. I will submit a description of her when she reaches adulthood in my story.
Years passed, the girlfriend and I broke up, two others came and went, when I ran into Jackie again in the hallway with a friend, an attractive brunette. Her girlfriend gave me a long look. I stopped and introduced myself to the friend; her name was Madison. Jackie and Madison were freshmen together at a local college. I took another look at both. They had been talking about college when I ran into them and realized that Jackie and Madison were adults. It had been ten years since I moved into the building; Jackie was no longer a little girl but a woman.
I mentioned my college days and said to Madison that she could call me if she needed any help with homework or advice about school. She smiled and thanked me. I gave her my number and asked her if she chatted on AOL-this took place a long time ago-she did, and I promised to chat with her soon. We were looking at each other so intently that when I looked at Jackie to say goodbye, I was a bit startled to see a very annoyed look on her face. I quickly said goodbye and left wondering if I had overplayed my hand.
That night, or perhaps the next, I chatted with Madison on the phone. Even though I was almost twenty years older we had some things in common. I don't remember what we talked about, college I'm sure, but it felt natural and comfortable, and I think she felt the same. We made a date to have lunch and see an early movie later that week. I thought she was very pretty, and told her so, but will postpone describing Madison until later because of what happened next.
It was the next evening when there was a knock on my door. That was always startling because I hadn't buzzed anyone into the building. I asked who it was.
"It's Jackie".
I opened the door; I remember she was wearing a coat. She told me her parents weren't home and that she was locked out of her apartment, I have forgotten what she said had happened to her keys, but it doesn't matter, it was a lie.
I told her to stay in my apartment until her parents came home. She accepted the invitation and came in. I was comfortably dressed in gym shorts and drinking wine when she knocked and offered her some wine.
"You are of drinking age now, right?" I asked.
Yes, I'm 19, she informed me. I later realized that you had to be 21 to drink in this state.
I poured her a glass and we sat on my sofa, I had the TV on but turned off the sound and put on some music.
I remember the topic of conversation very quickly turned to Madison. Jackie said that Madison is naive, trusting, and gets hurt easily, like for example, by her former boyfriend Bill. Madison and Bill had been an item during high school, but he had dumped her when he started college. Madison was on the rebound; Bill was her first and only love. I said to Jackie that Madison had told me a little about Bill. Jackie went on about how Madison was not ready for a new relationship and that she didn't want me to hurt Madison. If I was going to use Madison and dump her, she would feel responsible because she had introduced us. I let Jackie go on talking for a while sensing that there was more to this visit than Jackie wanting to protect Madison from a horny older guy.
"You know Madison is an adult and she may want to try different things. She might want to just sleep around with different men to see what it's like. She might not be looking for a relationship but just for a good time. There is nothing wrong with that. She's nineteen, now is the time to experiment, maybe with an older guy who knows his way around a woman's body" I argued.
Jackie looked uncomfortable when I made the conversation explicitly about sex. Jackie continued repeating her objections. I poured her more wine. She drank what I poured.
"Please don't hurt Madison" Jackie pleaded.
I tried a different tact "Jackie do you have a boyfriend?"
She hesitated a moment then said "No, not now, we broke up."
"Of course you had a boyfriend, you are a beautiful young woman, men must be coming on to you all the time, right?" I ventured.
She didn't answer. Now that the conversation turned to her personal life, she became quiet and looked away.
"Did you enjoy sex with him. Did you have sex with your boyfriend?" I asked.
She just shook her head yes and said, "It was ok".
I had a hunch and went with it "Did you ever have sex with a girl or want to have sex with a girl?"
Jackie turns her head quickly towards me and exclaimed too loudly "NO of course not,"
but the red flush of her cheeks gave her away.
She knew that she had given her secret away, but I could sense that she was relieved that I had guessed. Now I knew what this visit was all about, Jackie had a crush on Madison and was upset that I was making a move on the object of her desire.
Now is a good time to describe Jackie. She was at the time a very beautiful nineteen-year-old, about 5'4'', with blue eyes, dirty blonde hair, slim, but with still a little bit of baby fat on her body, handful sized perky breasts, clear fair skin, and, most prominent of her physical assets, full pouty red lips. My ex-girlfriend was correct, Jackie had been a very pretty girl and now beautiful woman.
I tried to assure her, "Jackie it's OK. It's nothing to be ashamed of, lots of women are attracted to other women. Women have sex with women, they might just want to see what it's like. Doesn't mean you that are gay and even if you are gay, it's not a big deal anymore."
"It is to my parents" she said quietly.
"Well don't tell them, I wouldn't say anything" I assured her.
Jackie took another gulp of wine. "Please don't say anything to Madison".
"Of course not. I would never say a word."