She found the backstage entrance, along with a group of ten or so girls crowding outside and the two crew members stopping them from entering. She stopped in her tracks, realizing there had been nothing in her fantasies that helped her actually get to him, they had always started with her already in his arms, kissing him. It hadn't occurred to her she couldn't just waltz into his dressing room, and even less that there would be others also trying to get to him.
One of the bodyguards took out a Polaroid camera and the other girls posed for him one by one, giggling. He photographed all of them and then turned to her.
"You trying to get to Teddy?"
She nodded and allowed her photo to be taken although she was apprehensive. It felt wrong, like she was some sort of merchandise.
She was hanging around, keeping a distance from the group of other girls, many of which were chatting and giggling like they knew each other, like they did this all the time. None of them were from her town, thank God for that, it made her grimace to think someone she knew would see her here. She didn't even want anyone to know she had come to the concert. A few of the other girls viewed her curiously, but she avoided eye contact, thinking of leaving but still harboring a hope of meeting him alone. Balancing between embarrassment and hope.
She was just about to leave, clearly she had been stupid to come here and would have to leave without even getting to meet him, when the bodyguard with the camera came back out and gestured for her to follow him. Everyone seemed surprised, the other girls, bodyguards, herself, but she followed him in. They walked along a corridor to a room with a dressing table, few chairs, a sofa, rack of clothes, him.
Bodyguard closed the door behind her and she looked at him, her heart pounding, trying to come up with something to say. This was also something she hadn't thought of, that she would need to talk with him. She thought of something interesting to say, something to differentiate herself, and couldn't come up with anything. She felt silly.
He looked at her across the room. He had on boots, jeans and a leather vest, his chest bare save for a couple of necklaces, a towel around his neck. He had sweated during the show, she had seen it while she was listening to him, and it made her want to touch his skin, his smooth chest, the moist curls at his neck. His hair was curly and wild, golden brown, and she loved it.
"Hello there," he said, friendly. "What's your name?"
"Annabel," she replied.
"Hi Annabel, I'm Ted," he said and now she smiled, it was so nice and so goofy, like she wouldn't know who he was, she felt more at ease.
"I know," she said.
"You want a drink?" he asked, turning to see what he had to offer. "Or are you too young for that?"
"I'm nineteen," she said.
"Yeah? I'm twenty...twenty six, or what? Something like that, anyway."
She smiled again. Like she wouldn't know every little detail about him she had had a chance to find out, let alone something so trivial. He looked around his dressing table, at the bottles he had at one end of it, and put the towel down on the table. He opened two bottles of beer, sat on the sofa, and gestured to her with a bottle.
She wasn't very used to drinking but thought one beer would probably be fine, and went to sit beside him, taking the bottle and sipping from it. They looked at each other.
"So, what did you want to see me for?" he asked, his eyes twinkling.
"I want to make love with you," she said and blushed furiously, aghast by what she'd said. It was what she had on her mind but it probably wasn't too cool to just blurt it out like that?
He choked on his beer and then laughed.
"Wow, okay," he said. "Yeah, don't bother with autographs and shit, just straight to it, huh?"
And he smiled at her. She was glad he smiled, and not maliciously even after her being so stupid, but she was still less than impressed with herself.
"Too blunt?" she said. "I'm sorry. I just thought that's...that's what you do with...fans. After the show."
"Well, can't say I haven't," he said. "But I'm not gonna just attack you, don't be afraid."
She thought bitterly she couldn't believe she had been so stupid that she hadn't prepared for this, for...seducting him, there was a pause before the word even came to her, she was so unaccustomed to thinking like this. She had never seduced anyone in her life, and had no idea how to make him want her. But now he touched her cheek, leaned closer and kissed her.
It was almost like she had fantasized but better. His lips were warm and gentle and sensuous, he didn't smash them at her but kissed her softly, gently, slowly. She could feel her heart thumping, he hadn't minded she was this awkward, maybe he would make love with her after all. He touched her lips with his tongue, so nicely, she touched it with hers and felt it at her lower abdomen. This was so delicious, this was way better than any kiss she'd ever gotten before.
He stopped kissing her and just stroked her cheek. She wanted him to continue, just like in her fantasies but going further, going where she wanted to go but couldn't even imagine.
"So tell me," he said. "What is it you want with me?"
"I want to make love with you," she replied.
They looked at each other, and he said, "Yeah, you keep saying that, but it's not the vibe I get off you."
