Good Boy

I knew you were different. I had known since the beginning, when you first began to make yourself apart of my life. You approached me cautiously and I accepted you. You seemed strangely innocent to me even though I knew you were older than my 18 years.

I had never gotten attention from any man especially one that looked like you. Your honey hair was much lighter than mine and your body had a nice solid shape. I took notice of how your shoulders filled out your tight graphic T shirt which showed off your built upper half.

The more you were around me and we talked the more my imagination went running. I couldn't help but steal a few glances at you when you weren't looking. You had no idea that I was starved of attention.

Even if you did it wouldn't have helped you because I was devoid of any want for the companionship of a man. I had looked at countless females but the feeling in my chest now regardless of who I was with was loneliness.

The difference of being with you was that you were persistent enough that I took notice of you and you changed those feelings. You intrigued me and the smile I wore with you wasn't fake.

I was never the girl everyone wanted. People were afraid to talk to me. I was called unapproachable and a list of other things. I had surrounded myself with walls and I stayed inside them. I hated people and only really came out to you because I knew you were different.

I watched you watch me when we worked together. I would bend over on purpose and wiggle my ass. You would tremble. I would laugh because you had no idea I wore those shorts on purpose.

I knew exactly how they looked on me. I also knew that my perky ass was visible from the bottom of them. Your eyes would widen but you never touched me like anyone else might have. You acted with such innocence for a nineteen year old.

I watched you curiously most of the summer. I wore more shorts just for you and you continued to follow me as I jumped from working at a summer camp to a children's theatre where my wardrobe got slightly more modest.

I laughed when the kids made fun of you and you lightheartedly took it. You tried so hard to make me smile. You broke down my walls and warmed my heart.

You slowly became one of my best friends. Before long you became the only man I had ever trusted. You were protective of me and I felt an attachment past friendship regardless of our status together out in the open.

You asked me to be yours on one of those hot afternoons and surprisingly I smiled and gave you a blunt, no. Your blue eyes shined but I could tell I had cut you. I hoped you wouldn't leave but then....I wanted you too. You could do so much better than me.

You continued to follow me and asked me again. I replied in the same way. I didn't want you to be stuck with me.

You had been to my house by then and we talked everyday and into the mornings. I had learned that you had recently gotten out of a relationship where you were constantly taken advantage of. I felt sorry for you. I wondered what that would be like. I was a virgin and I couldn't imagine being taken advantage of.

It was becoming normal to find you on my couch. My parents knew you and they even trusted you enough to allow you to keep me out all night. Then that day finally came that I knew would make or break us.

We laid on my bed together like we always did when we were talking or playing video games but this time it was different.You spoke not with the boyish charm that you used to make me smile but, in the serious voice of a man.

You rolled onto your side to face me. I laid looking up at you. You took my hand in yours and my heart began to beat in my throat."I can't ever tell what your thinking and you know that. Everyone else is like an open book and you are something entirely different."

I blushed and bit my bottom lip. "I love you," you said, looking me directly in the eyes. My cheeks burned now. I had no idea what to say so I adverted my gaze.

"This is the last time I'll ask you. If you say no this time I'm going to leave and I won't come back. I can't handle just being friends with you. You mean too much to me and if you say no this time I'll understand."

A lump formed in my throat. "So, will you go out with me?" you asked. Tears appeared in the corners of my eyes.

"Yes",I said. "I can't let you go. You're my best friend. I don't want to lose you." You hugged me to your chest. I felt safe there. Your chest was rigid beneath my hands. I ran them down your sides and you continued to hold me resting your face in my long chestnut hair. "Thank you," you murmured.

I held you against me and it felt good. We laid there for what seemed like forever and you finally rolled away from me to check the time. "I need to be going", you said, "It is getting dark." I nodded and got up to walk you to the porch. You looked down at me. "So since we're together now, can I get a kiss?" I smiled at you.

"Yes...." I said cautiously. You waited for it but, I just turned and walked toward your car. You unquestioningly followed. I turned when we got to your car and I put my arms around you.

You hugged me back and then leaned down to receive what I had promised but when your lips touched mine my hands locked to your face. I didn't feel like it was me in control as I brought you closer. I pushed my body against your and I let my tongue explore your mouth.

I tested your new masculine taste. I pushed you harder against your car so that you couldn't move away from me. I felt your hands moving up and down my body to rest on my shoulders and you tried to push me off. I couldn't stop.

I rubbed my breast against you and in your effort to escape you found one in your hand. I felt you growing beneath the fabric of your jeans. You groped me before realizing you were and let me go before trying harder to push me away.

I finally let you go and you looked at me with an array of emotions. Your erection looked painful in those tight denim pants. You looked down at it and then at me.

I felt something I hadn't before. It was something I had never experienced and now with you here in front of me you were changing the view I had of my entire life. I had never really wanted anyone before but I wanted you, now.

"I'm sorry." I said. My eyes were glued to your cock. I was a virgin but I could tell you were big. You put your hands over it to hide it from my gaze. I swallowed trying to clear my mind but all I could take notice of was how it took 2 hands to hide it.

"Don't apologize. I just...I didn't expect that....Wow," you said. I turned away blushing. What was happening to me, I thought? I had dated people before but none of them had ever made me do that; which unquestioningly was the reason why I was still a virgin at eighteen.

You leaned down and gave me another kiss keeping your body an acceptable distance from mine. You looked me in the eyes, "You know I'm a Christian and my religion will always come first in my life. My dad is a preacher. It is how I was raised. I know you know I'm not a virgin but everyone messes up and I refuse to mess up with you. You are what I want and I won't be the one to ruin you."

"I love you, too" I said softly, but my chest hurt because now I knew what I wanted and you were unwilling to give it to me. I knew I was going to have to hurt you and take it. That soon I would take advantage of your trust and it would destroy you.

You got in your car to leave with a smile on your face. I don't know if it was genuine. I watched you go and felt only sadness because I knew now I would soon betray you.You had become my best friend but I wanted more than anything to taint you. I wanted you to want me in the same way I wanted you.

I watched you pull away into the dark. The headlights of your car shined across my body as you left. I put my hand up to wave to you good-bye.

I knew what I would soon have to do, though. A tear rolled down my cheek because even though by saying yes I had given you what you wanted, I knew that what I wanted would soon would destroy you and possibly our friendship.