It was one of those increasingly-rare Sundays when Geoffrey and his parents were all having lunch together. His mother had cooked a traditional roast chicken with sage and onion stuffing. There were also roasted root vegetables, and garden peas that had been cooked with mint. And Geoffrey's father had opened a bottle of rather good white Bordeaux wine, a blend of Sauvignon Blanc and Semillon, with just a hint of Ugni Blanc.
'Sex,' Geoffrey's father said, suddenly, looking straight at Geoffrey.
'Sex?'
'Yes. You know... birds and the bees and all that stuff. You're... well, you're getting to that age.'
Geoffrey nodded. He would be turning 18 in two days time. Was 18 'that age'? Perhaps it was. Who knew?
'I know that you have classes about such things these days,' his father said. 'Not like back in my day. But the thing is, your mother and I just wanted you to know that if you have any questions, you're always welcome. You know... to come and ask us. If there's anything you're not sure about. About... well... sex.'
Again Geoffrey nodded.
His father nodded too. 'Yes. So... how's school?'
'School?'
'Yes. How's it going?'
'OK,' Geoffrey said. 'I think. We have final exams starting on Wednesday.'
'Wednesday. Feeling confident?' his father said.
'Reasonably,' Geoffrey said. 'Just as long as we don't get too many tricky questions.'
'Yes. Well... you should be all right,' his father said. 'Just remember, the teachers don't want you to fail. It makes them look bad. It makes them look like they haven't been doing their jobs properly. They want you to come through with flying colours. Make them look good. That way, they can justify asking for more money.'
Geoffrey nodded again.
'Yes. Wednesday, you say? Perhaps make sure that you get to bed at a reasonable hour on Tuesday,' Geoffrey's father said. 'I always found that a good night's sleep helped. Some of the other lads used to stay up swotting 'til all hours. But I always found it was better to get a good night's sleep.'
'Right,' Geoffrey said. (Tuesday was Geoffrey's birthday. But still... exams were exams.)
'And, don't forget, any questions about the birds and the bees stuff, just feel free to ask. Either of us. You know.' And Geoffrey's father looked across the table at Geoffrey's mother who smiled and nodded.
* * *
The first time that Geoffrey did it with Liz Wainwright was the first time that he had done it with anyone. It was Liz Wainwright's first time too.
Geoffrey and Liz had not planned to do it. There had been a party. To celebrate the end of exams. Well, the end of school exams, anyway. And the end of school. There would be university. But that was a whole new world.
The party had kicked off quite early. Around six o'clock. Geoffrey knew Liz from the tennis club. It was about nine o'clock when she suggested that she and Geoffrey should go back to her place for a swim. Liz's parents had a small pool in the basement of their St John's Wood home, and they were away for the weekend, so Liz had the place to herself.
'Do you want some wine or anything?' Liz asked when they got back to her place.
'Umm... probably not,' Geoffrey said. 'You know, if we're going to go for a swim.' And he patted his stomach. He wasn't sure why.
Liz nodded and led Geoffrey down to the basement.
'This is nice,' Geoffrey said.
'It's very convenient,' Liz admitted. 'And we can use it all year round.'
'I don't, umm, have any trunks,' Geoffrey said.
'No. But you don't really need any, do you?' Liz said. 'And I won't be wearing any.' And she laughed and began to strip off.
Dressed in her party dress, Liz had looked pretty damned nice. But then when she took off her dress, and then her bra and her knickers, Geoffrey felt as if someone had just punched him in the chest. Liz looked like a girl from the pages of one of the dog-eared naturist mags that did the rounds a school. She didn't look like a photoshopped model. She looked like the real thing. The good-looking girl next door. Naked. She even had a real patch of snatch thatch.
'Come on,' Liz said. 'Get your kit off.'
'Umm... yeah... right,' Geoffrey said.