Forever in Love

~Disclaimer~

~I was not sure where this story would most properly fit in. Its more of an essay, but my first oral experiences truly stayed with me.~ Midnoc

I met him when I was but a teen-ager. He was so tall, and with his dark gray eyes and dark hair, truly was a contrast to my petite frame and blond hair. It was spring 1992, and on every channel was the Red Hot Chili Peppers singing “Under the bridge”, and Wayne’s World brought back Queen’s music to a new generation. I was ten miles from my town in his town, and he captivated me the moment I laid eyes on him.

Riding in the car with him listening to “Bohemian Rhapsody” wondering if this could be real… knowing I would not see him again. When I said goodbye to him that evening my heart truly hurt. I had never felt anything like love at first sight before, and I do not think he really had either.

Yet, as luck would have it I was able to stay in his sleepy little town for the night, and I can still see him walking up the street in his long black trench coat and smiling as he realized he too would see me at least a little bit more.

That night we stayed at my cousins, and while the others were sleeping he crawled over to my couch and we talked all night long. I still remember Vanessa Williams’ crooning about “Saving the Best for Last”. Considering my past relationships I could think of no better theme for this exciting new experience.

He told me he had dreamt of me recently, and felt we were brought together for a reason. I could not help but be enamored with this man, with his experience and soft eyes. I felt myself slipping into a place I was unfamiliar.

Incredibly we were able to see each other semi regularly. I would come to his town, and we would walk the town, kissing, touching, and enjoying each other’s company. He would play my Aunt’s piano, and I met his family.

I would get butterflies as I drove to see him, and I cried when he gave me his class ring.

A few months into our relationship we decided to truly tempt fate and he would tell his parents he was staying at his invented friend “Joe Springer’s” house, and would secretly stay at my house. As we placed his bag in my closet and nervously laughed at his “new room”. I remember being so nervous knowing what would most likely happen that first night. I had been alone with others, but this was truly different, and I have not felt that way with another man since.

The first afternoon he was at my house I tried on a dress for him that I knew hugged my hourglass shaped body. I knew I wanted his hands on my body, and the thought of being alone with him behind a locked door excited me. As I moved to kiss him and we fell backwards onto my bed, I felt my heart truly give itself to him. I still can taste the perspiration on his lip as he reached behind me and unzipped my dress. At that moment, although I wanted him, I knew the time was not right. We chose to wait until later to share each other, and that is exactly what we did.

Later that evening after my father was in his room and I felt sure was asleep, I opened my window and let him in. I remember turning up my stereo so our nervous whispers could not he heard. As we began kissing, I felt my shirt being unbuttoned. I helped him to pull his shirt over his head, as he slid mine off my shoulders. As we lay in my bed kissing each other, I felt my jeans unbutton, and he slid them down my soft thighs. As I lay there in only my bra and panties, he began kissing my breasts, down my tummy, and finally softly kissed along my panties band. As I felt myself shudder, I raised enough to reach his soft freckled neck with my lips. He took this opportunity to unhook my bra and slowly slid it too off my shoulders.

As we kissed lying in only my panties, and his jeans, I reached down to his zipper. As he helped me slide his pants off, I reciprocated and assisted his free hand with removing my panties. I felt his hands run down my back, and around my hips. As my heart pounded, he softly touched my thigh and moved his hand up until I could feel him where I wanted him most.

As he touched me in ways I had never before experienced, I felt my body heat rise. Sliding one finger inside me, then two, I felt my hips begin to move against him. As he softly kissed my breasts, he looked into my eyes as he began kissing down my stomach. Lower and lower until I knew where he was going, as this time there was no panties to stop him.

As I lay back and readied myself for my first experience, I soon became overcome with the erotic impulses that seemed to radiate through my body like small jolts of electricity Over and over he brought me to orgasm, as he teased my clit with his tongue.

Finally when I regained my bearings, I moved on top of him and began taking him into my mouth. This too was a new experience for me, and I concentrated on taking him deep into my mouth. Slowly running my tongue down the length of his shaft, and feeling his cock throb in my mouth. His soft moans of pleasure encouraged me to continue as he maneuvered himself so he too could continue teasing my clit with his tongue. When I thought I could take no more, he would again bring me to another silent thunderous orgasm.

As I rose and we turned to each other, his lips found that soft spot on my neck that still makes me melt. Once again he laid me back, and while looking into my eyes, he came down on top of me as I felt him enter me.

As we moved together on my waterbed, we could hear the rhythmic sound of the water, as our motion continued. He pulled my legs up around his neck for a while, and then he would pull me up on top of him to sit on his lap. Moving together we both felt the ecstasy that can only grow when the perfect circumstances come together. The secrecy, the silence, and the first time together… it was beyond words.

As we lay together that night, and the rest of the nights that followed the week he was lived in my closet, we shared something so very special. A bond that was already formed strengthened.

Times were not as kind to us, and in true form to both of us, we moved on. The day it ended I truly felt as if my world would never be the same. It wasn’t. From that day my heart was hardened.

Several years passed and our friendship eventually brought us back together. We seemed to always have a good time, and with our reckless relationship histories between us, we felt we were a good pair. Then one night we found each other together once again in ways other than friendship. As we sat in my car one evening a song came on the radio. The words were:

“We could sit and talk about this all night long And wonder why we didn't last Yes they might be the best days We will ever know But we'll have to leave them in the past“

We both shared we thought we would one day end up together, although I think inside the realism of that statement was elusive.

While reality of our futures may have eluded us, our passion never seemed to be far. The countless nights in my car, he in the seat reclined as far back as possible, and me on top of him…I craved him. Whether in my car; on a bridge; or in my bed, we made love daily. One of our favorite places was behind a country church in the parking lot. We had some truly spiritual moments behind that church...

Yet our paths again moved in different directions, and once again, a year or so later we once again came together. Our lives had changed so dramatically from how they were when we had met four years prior, yet the attraction was still there. I knew I needed to fly far away from the sleepy little towns of my youth, and one day I vanished.

I never even said goodbye.

Times changed, and life moved on for both of us. In the next six years we began serious relationships, had children, and grew up. I thought of him often, but in a world such as this, it’s just as easy to lose those people you love, as it is to make yourself disappear.

Then one day it happened. We were brought back in touch with each other. With the changing times, had come the age of the Internet and there we were 1000 miles apart typing to each other. Soon there after, I heard his voice again for the first time in years. Pictures were then exchanged, and stories of sadness shared. Life had moved on, but yet there was still a connection.

Nearly 7 years to the day I last laid eyes on him, my children and I pulled up into his driveway. I am sure the years had changed him as I can tell they have changed me, but as I looked into his dark gray eyes I felt for a moment like 10 years never happened.

Talking with him, and sitting in the same room with him felt so natural, and our children seemed to enjoy each other’s company as much as I enjoyed his. Although the visit was short, it took all my strength to once again drive away from quite possibly my dearest friend. Even though our lives have gone in different directions, and we both love and accept them for what they are.

I did find that standing before a person who understands the innermost parts of you is a moment of reckoning of sorts. Here this person is who knows so many of the faults and mistakes you have tried desperately to move past and forget, and they still love you. It’s similar to having your heart ripped from your chest, and then tenderly replaced… you do not know if you should laugh or cry.

I have no idea when I will see him next, or what our friendship will hold. I do however feel so fortunate to have met him so many years ago, and although we do not know what might have been, the friendship and love we share today is blessing enough to last a lifetime.