(Knoxville, Tennessee) The night before the introductory statistics final exam had fallen on the skies above the University of Tennessee. Students and professors alike were stressed, as this course is a required class for freshmen in all majors. The test would be tough, being a comprehensive 40 question exam covering the basics of probability like mean, median, and mode to more complex statistics concepts like hypothesis testing and regression analysis.
So to prepare for this exam, two friends: Ian and Kendall, who had met each other in statistics, were studying together in Kendall's dorm. Ian was an accounting major with intentions on pursuing his CPA license and working as an auditor for a public accounting firm. On the other hand, Kendall was a middle and secondary education major with intentions on becoming a high school English teacher. While Ian found the class easy thanks to his quantitative background, Kendall struggled immensely throughout the class, as math has always been her worse subject. Therefore, Ian helped tutor Kendall throughout the semester, allowing her to maintain a passing grade in the class.
But on this night, tensions were high. While Ian only needed to make a measly 62 on this final to maintain an A, Kendall needed to score at least an 80 on this exam to pass the class. Therefore, the two worked tirelessly throughout the night to prepare for the final.
"Suppose the average home price in Nashville is $450,000," Ian read aloud, "A real estate agent has done some research and believes that the average home price is higher. After conducting a sample, he calculates a test statistic of 2. If he is conducting this sample at the 95% level of confidence, what is the outcome of this sample?"
Kendall quickly started calculating the rejection region on her calculator, getting a lower bounds of 1.6449.
Since the test statistic falls within the rejection region, that means that we will reject the null
, she thought.
"We will reject the null hypothesis," Kendall said.
"Good, can you put that in context of the problem?" Ian asked.
"We have enough evidence to support the claim that the average home price is higher than $450,000," Kendall said.
"Good job, that's right," said Ian, "I think you're good on th-"
Before Ian could finish his sentence, his stomach's growl echoed through the dorm.
"I think you need something to eat," Kendall said.
"Nah I'm okay," Ian said, "we still got more studying to do."
"Ian, did you hear how loud your stomach was growling?" Kendall asked rhetorically, "I think you desperately need something to eat. Here, how about we take a break and have dinner at the dining hall."
"I'm okay," Ian said.
"Well I'm hungry myself," Kendall said, "and clearly you are."
"Honestly, I need to spend some more time practicing two variable hypothesis testing, so I don't think I can take a break just now," Ian replied.
"That's fine, but you still need to eat," Kendall said, "tell you what: I'll go to the cafeteria and bring our food here. I got two boxes that I can put food in, are you fine with that?"
"Yeah sure, go for it," Ian said.
"Perfect, I'll go head over there now," Kendall said, "you just stay here and make yourself comfortable. If at any point you want to take a break, feel free to lay on my bed or do anything you want."
"Okay, thank you," Ian said.
Kendall then left her dorm to grab dinner while Ian continued studying. Ian would continue studying for the next three minutes until all of a sudden, he got hard. Not just an "oh I'm hard" type hard, he was so hard he couldn't even concentrate on studying. Throughout the semester, Ian had secretly been developing feelings for Kendall, as Kendall was quite the beauty. She was a 5'3 112 pound left-handed girl with beautiful long black hair, two very pretty blue eyes, and an adorable smile that could win the hearts of anyone who saw it. But in addition to her facial features, Kendall also had a beautiful body. Born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona, Kendall had grown so used to the beaming hot sun that her skin was permanently tanned, including underneath her clothes.
In fact, Ian would often find himself looking at Kendall's breasts in class, which he has estimated to be C-cups. She also had a sizeable ass, especially when wearing jeans or tight pants. Sometimes Kendall would even come into class straight from the gym wearing a sports bra and yoga pants, giving Ian the best view of anyone in the lecture hall. Her bra was loose enough to see the upper portion of her breasts, and if he looked very closely in the right direction, he could even see part of her nipples. Ian loved spending those classes looking at her, as he admired her body so much and often dreamed of grabbing hold to it.
And that's exactly what was going through Ian's mind, as the whole time he was tutoring Kendall that day, he could not stop imagining what it would feel like to hold her close and feel the warmth of her skin brushing against his. But at this point, the horniness was so much for Ian that he knew he had to do something about it. So he sat his laptop down on Kendall's desk and pulled up a porn video.
This video seems nice,
Ian thought as he progressed through the video. Eventually, he decided that this would be the video he'd relieve his sexual desires with, so he took his hand off the mousepad and placed it over the zipper of his jeans.
But right before he could unzip his pants, the door opened.
"Dinner's read-" Kendall said, only for her not to finish her sentence after seeing Ian's screen.
"Ian! What the fuck are you doing?" Kendall shouted.
"Oh uh, nothing" Ian said as he quickly pressed the alt and F4 keys together.
"When I said you can do anything you want, I didn't mean watch goddamn porn. Who fucking jacks off at someone else's place, much less a girl's dorm?" Kendall shouted furiously.
"I'm sorry," Ian said, "I got too excited and couldn't think straight. I really am very sorry about this."
"Hmph, whatever," Kendall said, "how about we just get back to studying.
"Sure thing," Ian said as he pulled up the study guide.
"But this time, I'm going to ask you a question," Kendall said.
"Sure, go for it," said Ian.
"Alright," Kendall said, "well here's one about hypothesis testing at the 99% level of confidence. Suppose rejecting the null means that you will fuck me so hard tonight I'll taste your cock while riding you, while failing to reject the null means we won't fuck-"
"Woah woah woah, what the hell?" Ian asked.
"Let me finish," Kendall said, "now say that we have a p-value of 0.001. So then which one are we gonna do?"
"Uhh," Ian said, completely stunned, "uhh, what did you just ask me?"
"I asked what the outcome of this problem is," Kendall said.
"Uh, reject the null?" Ian said.
Kendall put on a big smile as she made eye contact with Ian. "You're damn fucking right, Ian," she said.
Kendall then came over and whispered to his ear "Ian, let's sit on my bed, we need to talk."
Ian nervously got up and took a seat on Kendall's bed, where Kendall then followed him and sat right beside him. For the first five seconds, neither of the two said a word or made any noise. Ian's heart began racing as he began comprehending the position he had been placed in.
Finally, Kendall broke the silence. "Ian, I have something very important to tell you," Kendall said as she looked right into Ian's eyes, "I think I'm falling for you. You've been on my mind all semester long."
Immediately, Ian became beat red as he began comprehending what Kendall was trying to get at.
"It began during our first tutoring session in the library," Kendall said, "watching you gracefully work through problems I had zero idea how to do before and somehow automatically make me be able to do them hit me like a truck. The way you explain stuff, make it make sense, and dumb it down for someone as stupid as me turned me on so much and made me want to spend every last minute I could with you. So I did everything I could in class to get your attention, like wearing my gym clothes and inviting you to my dorm."
Oh my god, is this actually happening?
Ian thought,
sh-sh-she actually loves me back?
"K-Kendall," Ian said, "I also have something to share with you."
"What is it?" Kendall asked.