Hi, my name is Kat Warbington, and I am, without question, one of the most sexual eighteen year olds that you will find outside of the porn industry.
What can I say. I love sex and everything connected with it. Somehow, despite being one horny teenager, I managed to stay a virgin until I was 18. Maybe it was all the porn that I got my older brother to buy for me. Anyway, a few days after my eighteenth birthday, I drove up to Fresno, and offered my virginity to my friend Jason, who I've fantasized about since I was 14. He wasn't too sure at first, but I told him it was my birthday present to myself, and let's be serious now - how many 22 year old guys are going to turn down sex with a damn hot 18-year-old virgin?
Anyway, I loved it. It hurt a bit, being my first time and all - and being that the dumbass slipped and fell as he was entering me - but it was still fantastic. After that, I became nearly insatiable. The only problem was, guys were intimidated by me. They would not have sex with me. In fact, they wouldn't even look me in the eye. And so, frustrated and pissed off, shortly before Valentine's Day of 2005, I stormed into a sex shop in Pasadena armed with two hundred dollars from my savings account.
I had a very happy Valentine's Day.
But that's irrelevant. What is very relevant is the basketball game that I went to three days after Valentine's Day.
Glendale High vs. Pasadena High. Our two schools hated and despised each other with every fiber of our souls. Always have, always will. This year, the grudge match was at Pasadena - my school.
The Glendale players got booed mercilessly as they entered the gymnasium. I was booing heartily - until Glendale's shooting guard was introduced.
"At guard, number 42, 18 year-old senior, Karl Grieg."
I looked at him - and my heart stopped. HE WAS FUCKING GORGEOUS. He stood just over 6'2", didn't look like he had an ounce of fat on him, and appeared to have been sculpted by God. He was perfectly formed, from what I could see. His blonde hair stopped just short of his shoulders, and his blue eyes twinkled with amusement as he looked around at the booing Pasadena fans.
Oooh, there it was, the tingling that I experienced every time I saw a guy who I wanted in bed. Oh yes, Glendale Cardinal or no, I wanted Karl Grieg in my bed. In fact, I wanted him in more than just my bed.
Of course, when the Glendale starting lineup ended and Pasadena began being introduced, I immediately pushed such thoughts from my head. What kind of a traitor was I?!
The game was fucking awesome. Neck and neck the whole way, Pasadena High was up by one point with seven seconds left. Glendale High called timeout to get the ball in at half court.
They inbounded the ball directly to Karl Grieg, who spun from about fifteen feet out and jumped. Oh shit, he'd been hitting from there all night. There was no way he could miss…
UNLESS, our center flew in from out of nowhere and swatted the ball away down the court!
As the ball bounced toward our goal, time expired. Pasadena High had won this year, and we could rub that in Glendale's face until the next year… or until we met in the state playoffs.
I felt kind of bad, though, that the man who would be the object of my fantasies that night would end up being Glendale's scapegoat for this game. He deserved better than that. In fact… he deserved me. Oh God, how I wanted him.
But as I looked around the gym for him, I realized he had disappeared. "Shit," I muttered under my breath. He was gone.
Well, Pasadena and Glendale Highs did not meet in the playoffs. I was disappointed. I had been hoping to see more of the beautiful Mr. Karl Grieg. But alas, luck was not with me. I dropped back into my frustrating pattern of intimidating guys and having to please myself with my wide array of sex toys bought back before Valentine's Day. As good as I was able to make myself feel, it just wasn't as fun without a partner.
One day, I called up Jason and talked him into reenacting our night together through phone sex. He obliged, and seemed to have fun. I very much doubt that he enjoyed it as much as I did, though. It was good for me, a little better than just your standard masturbation, but it still left me wanting. I wanted Karl Grieg in the world's worst way!
It was funny how it happened. In late March, I went to Glendale, to the Galleria. While I was there, I darted across Brand St. to a little used record store there that I had been to before. And when I walked in…
Who should be sitting behind the counter, obviously employed there, but Karl Grieg. He was holding an acoustic guitar, playing softly and singing the Beatles'
Yesterday
to himself. And it sounded pretty damn good, too.
Oh God. That just made me want him more. Not only was he gorgeous, but he could sing and play the Beatles as well? I almost came right there in the store. But I quickly regained my composure.
I headed for the Beatles rack, and searched for something I didn't have. Oh hell, this wasn't going to work. I had everything…
wait
a minute…
The White Album on vinyl? No way! I didn't have that - I had it on CD, but not vinyl. I picked it up and looked at the price tag. $54.00. No big deal, I'd recently gotten $10,000 as a signing bonus from the United States Air Force.
I picked up the Beatles' masterpiece and headed for the checkout counter. "Find everything you were looking for?" he asked. His tenor voice sounded like silk, gliding across my eardrums.
Yes, but there's something ELSE I want!
"Uh, yeah," I stammered.
SHIT!
"The Beatles, huh?" he asked, smiling.
"Yeah," I replied. "I love them."
"You know," he said thoughtfully, "they're probably one of the greatest bands of all time, but they sure did have issues. You know that Paul McCartney re-recorded the drums on most of the songs on this album because he thought Ringo sucked?"
Oh God, yes I did know that! He knew it too?!
"Yeah," I said. "But that's not the worst thing about it all. I'm still convinced that Yoko Ono is responsible for the end of the Beatles."
"Oh yeah," he replied bitterly. "Fucking bitch, she had to pull John out. You know, I think if it hadn't been for her, he wouldn't have been shot back in 1980."
And that was how I spent the next thirty minutes talking to Karl Grieg about the Beatles. And how, when his shift ended, we went across the street to In'n'Out for milkshakes. I felt a little goofy, but damn. I was talking to this beautiful gift from God about the Beatles, and maybe he was seducible.
After about an hour at In'n'Out, he asked a question that made me really feel stupid. "So, what's your name?"
Oh my God, I had been talking to him for the last hour and a half and I hadn't told him my name. "I'm Kat Warbington," I said. "And you're Karl Grieg, right?"
He looked puzzled. "Uh, yeah," he replied. "Have you been stalking me?" A little smile began to form on his face.
"Oh, no!" I replied. "I just go to Pasadena High, and when we played you guys last month, I saw you during the starting lineups and just thought you were incredibly hot…"
OH MY GOD. OH NO, I DID NOT JUST SAY THAT.
And then he started laughing. Oh, how he laughed. And then I felt really stupid. Here, I had just embarrassed myself, and now he was laughing at me.
"You know what, fuck you!" I snapped. "I don't need this!"
He stopped right away. "Oh, no, don't go!" he said quickly. "No, no, it just embarrasses me when things like that happen, but they're funny at the same time."
I hesitated, and he took that as his cue. "You know, I've never met anybody quite like you, somebody who loves the Beatles like you seem to, somebody who goes to school at my sworn enemy but doesn't care, somebody so… attractive…"
He kind of let the last word trail off. Well, he had me at "you know," not to rip off
Jerry Maguire
or anything. And that got me to sit right back down.
Well, we sat in awkward silence for a moment. Then, apparently, the lightbulb went on in his head.
"You want to see a really cool part of Glendale?" he asked.
"Sure," I said.
And so, a few minutes later, we were driving out Chevy Chase Blvd., toward Pasadena. Despite living in Pasadena all my life, I had never driven down this particular stretch of road. "Wow," I said. "These are some really nice houses!"
"Yeah," he replied. "Some really wealthy people live out here. You know, George Harrison had a vacation home out here."
"No he didn't!" I replied in disbelief.
"Oh yes," he said with a smile. "Oh, yes, he did. Trust me. I'm a Beatles nut, and having one of them have a vacation home practically in my backyard was absolutely awesome."
Then he slowed, pulled over, and stopped in front of an absolutely ginormous house. He got out of the car and headed up the steps toward the house. Slowly, I got out, and looked up at him, unsure of what to do.
"Come on," he said. "It's alright!"
I followed him up the steps to the house, where he used a key on his ring to let himself in. "Wow," I said as I stepped in. "This house is unbelievable. Do you live here?"
"Oh, no," he replied. "This is Coach's house. He's just out of town right now, so I'm house-sitting for him. Make yourself at home!"
I picked a couch in the living room and had a seat. This house was absolutely amazing! I mean, we're talking like four to five million dollars worth of amazing here. "Do you want something to drink?" I heard Karl ask from the kitchen.
"Uh, yeah, if he's got Coke," I replied.
Karl appeared a moment later, with a glass full of Coke for me, and a glass of some clear liquid for himself. What the hell? I asked myself.
"What's that you've got there?" I asked.
"It's water," he replied. "What did you think it was?"
"Oh, uh…" I forced out as I began to turn red.
"No, I swore off caffeine and alcohol a long time ago," he said with a smile. "They are not exactly conducive to performance as a basketball player."