Elusive O

After I got out of the Army, I was restless, I was a virgin and I was not happy with that status. It's not like I was picky. Well I was, or my body was. The guys I was attracted to were not attracted to me. They wanted a fling. I wanted a boyfriend. My time in the Army was brief, yet long enough to fall in and out of lust with Welsh. It was official, Vanilla men make me purr.

The moment I laid eyes on this 5'6, lean muscle, creamy white skin with brown eyes, black hair, I was done. We were in different platoon. I was Alpha, He was Delta. Every time I saw him, I wanted him. Every time he saw her, he wanted her and the feeling was mutual.

As Welsh clearly stated it one night, "You are a virgin. I don't do virgin. I am sorry. You are very attractive but..." The truth was painful. Anyone could see I had a broken heart. The only guy, who wanted me, was married. As he so nicely put it, "If I was not married, I would have loved you."

So I left the Army with a stress fracture in my right leg and a broken heart. At 26 years old I had no clear direction. I had planned a career with the Army. I was going somewhere. Now, where to? So I spend a few months feeling sorry for myself, screamed my head off in the basement so that my parents won't think they only daughter was going loco. I needed a job, I needed to get laid, and I needed a purpose in life.

Eventually, I went back to school and started to look for my boyfriend. I registered at Match.com and meet talented Adel. As his profile stated, he was a non-traditional Jews with a PhD in music. A tall, talented musician with hazel eyes, I was interested. He flew to the US from Germany. As an Orchestra director, he travelled a lot and taught music in many universities around the US. Although he had an apartment in NY, we met at the World Trade Center. Based on his description, I knew he was going to be tall and lean. I recognized him immediately. I felt this sudden wetness in my panties. My palms were sweating. My legs shaking and my heart jumping out of my chest I knew I was over my league. All my nerves were on Alert. This total assault was familiar to me by now. Lust, pure in simple. He took me to this small coffee shop, we got healthy juice. Adel had a zero ounce of fat on him. He was more like a man who work long hours and only come out to eat and back to work again. He had the softest hands, long fingers, as a pianist I can imagine what sweet damage he can do to my body. Every time he touched me, my body reacted strongly. After an hour of talking, he took me back to the train station. As I was sitting in the train, trying to calm my heart down, I made two decisions. One, I was going to see him again. Two, I was not going to fall in love with a man who will never settle in one place.

Three months later, Adel was back in town. I wore a long black Jersey skirt and black top. My outfit fitted me well. I had all the right curves at the right places. I was considered beautiful by those who wanted to have sex with me. So, I learned early on not to dwell on my looks. My outfit was meant to keep me cool and keep Adel imagination alive. Adel was waiting for me at the train station. We took a bus to his town. We had lunch. We ate fish and had French Vanilla ice cream for desert. We went to the park for a stroll. I wanted to spend more time with me. And I wanted him to kiss me so bad but I did not want too much privacy either. We sat on the bench, with the waterfall facing us. We were surrounded by trees. It was late afternoon, only a few lovers were around. Adel moved me into his lap and we started kissing. At this point my body was singing the opera. I wanted his hands on my small breasts and I wanted to feel his pulsing erection. He lifted my top a little and slides his hand up to my stomach until it reached my right breast. My left breast squeezed to his warm chest. I could feel his heart racing; I knew he wanted me as much. Soon I was panting and I was out of breath. I pulled my lips away, took a deep breath and dive again in the pool of emotions. At some point, I felt his hand up and down my back. He was calming me. My clit had a standing ovation, I was wet. I wanted so much more. I needed to calm down. I needed to go home.

This time Adel took me to the bus station. He waited with me for a while. He just held me until the bus came. He bent down to kiss me. He was so tall for my 5'4. By the time I reached the train station, my heart had settled in my chest. But I was still wet. I got home, took a shower, and went to bed. I did not talk much to my parents. They knew I met someone but I was not going to reveal how overreacted my body was.

We spoke on the phone a few times before he left for the next country in his list. He was coming back in three months. I had plenty of time to examine and dream of my first time. I knew sooner or later I will no longer be a virgin. I was an avid romance novel reader. I watched enough movies and read enough soft porn to know what entailed in the act of love making.

Early November, Adel called me from Paris. He was going to be in the state for a week, he wanted to know if I wanted to come to his apartment this time. This time meant one thing. I was going to get laid. I dressed casual; I had my favorite dressy pants on, white blouse, my only high heels boots on. Adel was older, more educated, well known in the classic world. I was a 26 year old virgin from Haiti and still live with my parents. I knew I did not fit in his world. But I wanted to be with him just as much he wanted me.

There I was in his room, in his apartment. Just the two of us and the bed on the floor, small desk for his laptop, his luggage open on the floor a few feet from the bed. This would have to do. We started kissing, soon my legs gave out. We moved to the bed. I took his clothes away. I wanted to kiss every inch of his lean body. I kissed his nipples, kissed my way down to his penis. I took him in my mouth. I did not know what I was doing but he seemed to like it so I kept at it until he came in my mouth. I went to the bathroom to spit the sperm out. I washed my mouth and go back to bed. It was my turn. He undressed me slowly, revealing one breast at a time. He took my breasts in his hands and squeezed them. One in his mouth, one in his hand, sucked and pulled. My clit was weeping for some attention. I caressed his back, squeezed his butt. We fall on the bed. With one hand between us, I massaged his penis. He kissed his way down my body to my clit. Booya! Finally, this clit was getting some actions. I wanted to come, I felt it coming, too soon he moved up and I felt his penis pushing in and my pussy creamed. The pain was sharp. All I could feel was the pain. After a few strokes in and out, I felt his sperms swimming around. I rest on the bed, wondering what just happen. Where is my orgasm? Why it still hurt. Adel kissed my lips, dressed and goes to his desk. I was weak and needed to clean up. I went to the bathroom; with a wet towel I cleaned my pussy. I was bleeding. I put my clothes back on. I needed a panty liner. I stood at the door, looking at him, typing. He did not look at me nor spoke to me.

"Hey" I said. "I need to go to the store. Am bleeding." "Ok" he replied. We left the apartment to the nearest store. I got a small box of panty liner. He got some few items and paid for them. We made it back to the apartment in silence. I went straight to the bathroom. I needed to go home and take a shower. I needed to figure out what just happen. Why my heart was not happy. Technically I was not a virgin anymore. I should be in 7th heaven, sighing with joy. But I was not. As far as orgasm goes I was still a virgin.

We never spoke of that evening. We had sex a couple of times. But I never came. I was still attracted to him, my pussy always wet and ready. Yet, I was missing something vital. Why I could not come? It is a question I will keep asking until I get my O.

I broke up with him a year later. Music was his passion. I understood that. He could not take me with him I did not want to move to a new country waiting for him while he travelled around with his orchestra. We stayed friends and always will be friends; after all he was my first boyfriend.