Every good Catholic girl grows up knowing that you save yourself for marriage. You stay pure. You keep your heart and body pristine for both God and your future husband. I knew the rules and I followed them to a "T".
Through High School I didn't date. I didn't go out with boys. I didn't go to their house. They didn't come over to mine. The summer after I graduated, that slightly changed and I went out on a few dates. To my surprise, I kissed my first boy. But that was it. I followed the rules.
As a freshman in college I ventured out and went to some parties. I flirted a little bit more and went out on more dates. I then started dated I guess who you could call my first boyfriend. In the grand scheme of things it was still very immature. We went out to dinners, hung out at parties, and made out a lot. But, that was it. No inappropriate touching. The line was drawn at kissing and despite his most desperate pleas, that is all that ever happened. There were rules.
That didn't last long but towards the end of the semester I went out on a date with a friend from High School. Then there were more and more dates. Pretty quickly we were officially boyfriend and girlfriend and this time it was different. This wasn't the same kiss and date immaturity as before. I was, well, in love.
To put it bluntly though, he wasn't pure like me. He was an amazing guy but he didn't follow the rules. There was another girl that had come before me and gotten all of him. You would think this would be a non-starter for me, but in reality, it intrigued me. Here is an amazing guy who I'm crazy about and he's not a virgin. Maybe the rules aren't the end all be all.
About a month into our relationship he knew all about me. Who I had kissed and all the things I had refused to do despite being asked, begged even. He was a bit jealous I had even kissed just a few other guys and was glad I hadn't done more. He was protective of me and it made me feel amazing. That's what staying pure was about, that feeling of being someone's everything. Making things special. There were rules for a reason.
It was soon Christmas break and we got to spend a lot of time together. Every night we would just hide out from our parents together and make out. The passion got more intense and I started to forget about the rule. One night I let his hand push up under my bra massaging my breasts. I was finally being touched like a woman and it felt so amazing. A simple pleasure but so arousing.
My breasts had always drawn attention before. They were a full 34D and all of the boys before adored them. They wanted to see and touch them but that was against the rules. Feeling them touched now was breaking the rules but I just ignored the guilt. It felt good and I was in love after all.
It was only fair if I got to explore too, right? As his hands explored me I also did some exploring. I will never forget sliding my hand into the front of his jeans for the first time. It was the first time that I felt raw, hard manhood. As my hand felt the warmth of his penis I soon realized that he was as gifted there as I was up top. In the same way I had large full breasts, he had a large thick penis. Nature seemed to take over. I was ignoring the rules and it felt so good.
As things go when you're young and exploring, there's a natural progression. My first handjob. My first blowjob. I will perhaps go into more detail about those but for now I just want to mention that they happened. We spent our winter nights "watching a movie" while exploring my new sexual horizons.
It felt so freeing to finally, one night, unclasp my bra in front of him. After being begged before by other boys to show my large breasts off I got to show someone. He loved them. Feeling my bra drop down my shoulders and being bare chested in front of him was so arousing. From that point on I got topless as often as I could. It felt so good to just show off and have my body appreciated.
We played those games for a long time. I know he was a super patient person and sweet, but he wanted more. I wanted more too but...those rules! So we just spent months doing everything but that final deed. We would take hot showers where I would feel his hands and eyes all over my body. I spent countless hours bringing him to orgasm in various ways. It was so fun to live outside of the Catholic boundaries.
Nearly a year into our relationship we were planning a weekend trip to a cabin in the mountains. It would be our first real getaway together and I couldn't be more excited. The weekend came and after we finished up our classes on Friday, we jumped in the car and drove for hours up into the beautiful mountains.
That small, dingy cabin is not what it seemed on the internet. This was long before AirBnB and all we could find (and afford, being poor college sophomores). I will never forget the look we gave each other when we walked in, slightly taken aback by the musty odors. It was quaint though with an incredible view from the back deck. We quickly grabbed our bags and got settled in.
After a simple dinner we opened up our stowaway alcohol we had a friend buy us. With a couple of drinks we sat bundled up on that back porch. It soon began to snow painting the most picturesque evening. The wind kicked up and despite the alcohol, it became too cold to enjoy the open air of the porch. Scurrying inside from the cold my boyfriend made his way to the fireplace to get some additional warmth going.
It was a good thing that he did because the wind must've taken down a tree or large limb. We lost power which only enhanced the romanticism of this entire adventure. Taking sips from our drinks we sat cuddled by the fire having the time of our lives. The talking eventually slowed down as the kissing began.
