Coach's Cutie

Coach's Cutie - Chapter 4: Fostering the Relationship

I've been volunteering at this animal shelter for over a year now. It's really close to where I live, and it's been a great way for me to occupy some of the free time I have on weekends. I've always loved animals, and especially dogs, so it's been a fun and rewarding way for me to give back a little to our community.

As I hang out at the shelter's front desk, I'm trying my best to focus on the tasks I need to get done today, but in reality I keep thinking about last night. I feel good about where Greg and I ended up, as despite how disturbing that movie he showed me was, I think in some weird, twisted way it actually brought us closer together. But there's no doubt I'm still fixated on those poor girls that were in the porno. I can't get them out of my head!

Are they okay? Where are they today? Are they all grown up with families of their own now? So many questions, but probably none more pressing than, why would they have agreed to be in that horrible movie in the first place?!? I don't think I'll ever understand the answer to that, but I can't stop thinking about it. The only thing I know for sure, is that I'm just not cut out for watching a movie like that, ever again!

But then in addition to the girls from the Czech porn movie, I also can't stop thinking about Katherine, the opposing basketball player from the parking lot earlier in the evening. Her predicament feels much more tangible and real-life, which it obviously is, as we saw firsthand what an asshole her father is. Fuck! Sometimes, and yes I know guys can end up in shitty situations too, but girls and women just have it so tough. It fucking sucks!

Oh well. Misogyny is certainly nothing new, and at least I have plenty of work here at the shelter to occupy myself. I actually have a whole stack of appointment reminders I need to get in the mail, so that should keep me busy for a while.

As I getting started on the thrilling task of stuffing envelopes, I hear someone come through the front door. And as I look up and see a girl walking in and carrying her dog, I'm reminded why sometimes, I get this overwhelming feeling that my life is not just some conglomeration of random occurrences, but instead must be some warped, predesigned script being played out simply for the amusement of some all-knowing being.

The girl coming through the door is Maddie! My 37-year-old boyfriend's teenage crush, who is not only a student at the high school where he teachers, but also a player on the basketball team he coaches. Holy. Fuck.

I see her dog. I know that dog! The dog's name is Cassie. She's a sweet, adorable corgi that we rescued around six months ago. In fact, the main reason I know the dog's name, is because I was the one who named her!

And for fuck's sake. That's why I recognized Maddie when I saw her at the basketball game last night. She's been to the shelter before, because they've been fostering this dog! And while I don't think I've personally dealt with her extensively, I've definitely seen her here more than once. I just couldn't place her face last night, but it all makes sense now!

But holy fuck, she's here?!? That's definitely's the most pressing issue to deal with right now. Play it cool, Becca. Be normal.

Me (trying to give as generic a greeting as I possibly can to this 18-year-old girl): "Hello, good morning!"

Maddie (after shuffling her dog to get a better grip): "Hi."

Me (I figure I can at least act like I remember her dog): "Is that Cassie? I know that sweet girl."

Maddie (sounding a little down actually): "Yep, this is Cassie."

Me (now wondering if everything is okay): "What brings you in?"

Maddie (after clearly taking a second to compose herself): "We needed to drop Cassie off. We can't foster her anymore."

Oh no! It's not uncommon for people to foster a dog for awhile and then bring the dog back, but there's something about the way Maddie just said it that makes me think she's distraught about having to do so.

Me: "Sorry to hear that! Did something happen?"

Maddie: "Yeah, my parents..."

Maddie: (after pausing and starting over): "We can't foster her anymore."

Me (genuinely concerned): "Did she attack someone? Was she aggressive?"

Maddie (sweetly reassuring): "Oh, no, no... nothing like that. Cassie would never do that."

Me (as I walk around the counter to be closer to Madison as we talk): "Oh, okay..."

Maddie: "My parents are getting a divorce, and so we can't have a dog anymore."

Oh my god, that is so heartbreaking on so many levels!

Me (truly upset over this revelation): "Oh I'm so sorry..."

And then just as I'm about to call her Maddie, I catch myself and instead trail off without finishing the sentence. I don't think under normal circumstances, I ever would've remembered her name based on the very limited interactions we had a few months back. Her dog? Sure, I legitimately remembered Cassie's name, as it's not like I got that from my boyfriend, Greg. But Maddie's name? I feel like calling her that would be weird and suspicious, which is the last thing I want to be right now.

Me (yep, I'm so manipulative sometimes): "I'm sorry, what's your name again?"

Maddie: "Madison."

Me: "Well I think maybe we met awhile back, but nice to meet you again, Madison."

Shit. Now I have to remember to call her Madison and not Maddie, because that would also be super weird if I just randomly started giving this girl I barely know a nickname. Madison. Madison. Madison. That's her name. Madison.

More importantly though, I feel so bad for her! I had no idea, and I assume Greg didn't either, that her parents are getting divorced?!? Divorces suck all the way around. Trust me, I know. But the absolute worst part about them is when there are kids involved. Ugh, I just hate it.

And oh my god, I am a straight up crazy person. I can't believe I'm going to admit this, but just now, I had the most ridiculous thought go through my mind. I'm thinking, this poor girl Maddie... first, she had to endure getting beaten by that old man with the paddle, and now her parents are getting divorced?? Here I am, still processing that fucked up torture porn movie from last night, and just because one of the porn actresses looked exactly like Madison, I'm actually confusing it with real life. What the absolute fuck is wrong with me?!?

Me (trying to regain my composure so I can be sympathetic): "Madison, I am so sorry you're going through that. We can definitely take Cassie back for you. You've already helped so much by fostering her as long as you did."

Maddie: "I know. I'm just not ready to say goodbye to her."

Ugh. Poor girl. I instinctively pout my face in sympathy.

Maddie (seemingly opening up to me a little): "It's mostly my mom's fault... Not the divorce, as I don't even know where to begin with that. But the dog. My dad's the dog lover between them, but his new place won't allow pets it sounds like. I tried to convince my mom that we should still keep Cassie around, but she wouldn't budge."

Me: "Oh I'm so sorry, Madison."

I offer to take ahold of Cassie, and as she hands her off I can tell it's really an emotional moment for her. Poor girl. Madison, that is. She's so sweet, and now that I've actually met her, I can see why my boyfriend just adores her.

Me (after placing Cassie down and grabbing her leash): "So your dad? He was the one who filled out the fostering paperwork originally, right?"

Maddie: "Yeah, we had gotten her this past summer."

Me: "Okay. I'm guessing we have everything we need then as far as contact info. Obviously if anything changes and you're able to foster Cassie or any other dog again, you'd always be helping us out."

As I'm saying this, Maddie seriously looks like she might cry. Ugh, forget all the stuff about Greg and our fucked up, twisted, sexual fantasies. My heart just breaks for this young lady, and it really puts everything in perspective!

Me: "Again, I'm so sorry, Mad... (I come really close to calling her Maddie)...ison. Is there anything else I can do to help you out? I feel so bad about the circumstances here."

Maddie (softy): "There is one thing..."

Maddie (continuing): "And I don't even know if this is allowed. But would you be able to let me know if someone else ends up adopting her? Or even just starts fostering her?"

Me: "Of course... sure..."

Maddie: "Because I'd probably want to reach out and just offer to take Cassie for a walk or something from time to time for them, you know, but only if they were okay with that."

Me (realizing just how sweet this girl is): "Oh of course! Yes. That's totally fine."

Me (pulling out my phone): "Why don't you give me your number, and then I can hand that off if someone ends up adopting her. Is that okay? Does that work?"

Maddie (smiling for the first time this morning): "Yes! Perfect. That would be great."

Me (bringing up a new contact in my iPhone): "Okay, I'm going to put you in here as Madison, Cassie's foster owner."

Maddie then gives me her cell number and I enter it in.

Me (I already know how shameless I am): "Does anyone ever call you Maddie?"

Maddie: "Yeah, they do. Most people, in fact."

Me: "Okay great, I'll change that to Maddie then. Maddie, parenthesis, Cassie's foster owner. I have your number, and I will definitely keep you updated on how Cassie is doing. Sound good?"

Maddie (looking so appreciative): "That's amazing. Thank you so much. And I'm so sorry to have to bring her back."

Me: "Maddie, no. Don't apologize. I'm so sorry for everything you're going through. Hope you have a good rest of your weekend."

Maddie (as she's leaving): "Oh my gosh, I didn't even get your name!"

Me: "It's Becca."

Maddie (looking just as sweet and darling as ever): "Thank you again... so much... Becca."

Me (smiling): "No problem."

And with that, Maddie heads out of the shelter and I pick Cassie up and give her a nice wet doggy Eskimo kiss.

But now that that's over, Holy fucking shit!!!! I have to call Greg! Or... maaaaaaybe... not??

Is he going to be weird about this? I could totally see him freaking out that I just randomly ran into Madison. Even though as you saw, she was the one who came walking through the door of the animal shelter that I work at, so it's not like I went out looking for her or something! And the whole time she was here, I was on my very best behavior, so I don't think Greg could blame me for anything that happened!

But knowing him, and how nervy Greg can be, if I tell him about this, I'm sure it'll just stress him out more than anything. In fact, there's probably no chance he'd actually be excited that I ran into Maddie, so is there any upside in letting him know?

I guess not keeping secrets from Greg, or not lying by omission is the one big benefit. Also, I'd be able to tell him that I got to see firsthand what a sweetheart she is, so that would be good. In fact, after our chance meeting today, I kind of wish I could get to know her even better.

And as soon as I think that, a thought crosses my mind. And I already know what you guys are going to think. That I'm truly a psychopath. But hey, I'm just trying to live my life, and if I do a few things here or there to make my life a little more interesting, then so be it. That's not a crime!

But yeah, it's too perfect an opportunity to pass up. I'm going to be the one to foster Cassie here, at least for a few weeks. And hey, I swear to god, I had actually been thinking the other day that I really should be helping out more by fostering some dogs from the shelter! I've wanted to do this for a while, but initially my job schedule on the weekdays was just a little too hectic. But it's much more manageable now, and hey, if doing so lets me get to know sweet, adorable, Madison a little better, then so be it. It's a win-win!

Me (leaning over to talk to Cassie while it's just the two of us here): "Who's a sweet girl? Yes you are! You wanna come live with me for a little bit? Yes you do! Yes you do!"

Cassie wags her tail excitedly.

I already know it's weird that I'm doing this. And I also know it's more than a little bit deceptive for me to be taking Maddie's dog home without telling Greg. But for whatever reason, I just don't care, because the idea of it is honestly kind of thrilling.

I fill out the necessary paperwork, and I even mention that I'm going to be fostering Cassie to one of my fellow volunteers, Jennifer. She's super excited for the idea, but granted, Jennifer obviously has no idea about the scandalous back story in play here.

And while I take Cassie home that very afternoon, I decide to wait a couple of days before letting Maddie know. I figure I want to make it at least seem like we tried to find a different foster home for her, even if that isn't true at all.

Me finally texting Maddie: "Hi Maddie - this is Becca. Update on Cassie... I'm actually going to be fostering her (at least for the time being) so anytime you wanna come see her, just let me know!"

As I hit the send button on the text, I'm more than a little nervous about how she'll respond. And while I'm starting to process the ramifications of what I just did, I immediately see those three tiny iMessage bubbles appear in the app. She's already typing a reply!

Maddie's text then comes in: "omg!!! will do that for sure"

Another text a second later: "thx! ur amazing"

Oh my god. I really need to let Greg know. I really do. But I'm not going to. I don't like lying, but I just can't seem to help myself here!

Okay, here's what I'm going to do. I'll try testing the waters, but just for a little bit. I'll see what it's like for Maddie to come over and hangout with Cassie, and if for some reason I think this should stop, I'll return Cassie to the shelter, let Maddie know, and that will be the end of it.

On the other hand, if I start getting to know Maddie and I want to continue hanging out with her, then I'll finally let Greg know about this development and we can proceed from there. And I promise, if after hearing about what I did, Greg wants to nix this whole idea, then I'll respect that and can return Cassie at that point as well.

To be honest, I'm not even sure what my desired endgame is here. I don't have some master plan in mind about seducing this young lady on my boyfriend's behalf or anything. All I know is at this point, she seems like a genuinely nice girl, and I'd like to get to know her better. There's nothing wrong with that, right?

I stick to my plan of not mentioning a word of any of this to Greg, and a couple of days later I get a text from Maddie asking if she can come over in the evening to see Cassie. It works out perfectly as Greg and I didn't have plans for that night, so Maddie stops by and the two of us, plus our sweet corgi, go out for a decently long walk.

Maddie mans Cassie's leash pretty much the entire time, and I can tell they're both enjoying the chance to reconnect with one another. I have to say that so far Cassie's done a great job adjusting to my apartment, but I can tell she definitely misses her old caretaker.

While we're walking, Maddie actually brings up the topic of her parents' divorce. So far, it seems like she's more than willing to share things about her personal life, which is quite interesting. It sounds like her mom is very Type-A and serious about pretty much everything, while her dad is more of a nice guy, goofball type. In the brief time I've gotten to know her, I can kind of see a combination of those two personality traits in Maddie. She was so intense and hardworking when I saw her play basketball, but at the same time she seems to be an extremely sweet and kind person as well. It's definitely not a bad combination to have, personality wise.

During our walk, I share a little bit about my own divorce and how my ex-husband and I grew apart. I don't go into any detail about our mismatched libidos or anything like that, as I feel like broaching the topic of sex with Madison would be extremely weird right now, considering this is the first time we've ever hung out, not to mention our sizable age difference.

It turns out that like my son, Maddie is also an only child. Partly because of this, I feel like I'm able to give her some decent advice about how things might change in her new post-separation family life. And while basically none of it is much to look forward to, I figure maybe she'll at least have a little better sense of what to expect.

I know I've said this before, but she's just so genuinely nice. Even when she's talking about her parents, so much of her thought process revolves around trying to make things easier for them. For them! You know, the ones who are actually responsible for the predicament they're all in? She's shockingly mature and empathetic for her age.

After our first time getting to know each other, Maddie and I end up hanging out a few more nights over the next week and a half. While this goes on, I continue to keep Greg completely in the dark about our budding friendship. The one thing he does know is that I'm fostering a dog, as that would be pretty much impossible to hide. He just doesn't know there's actually a connection between my new corgi named Cassie, and his teenaged crush, Madison.

It's a little bit tricky scheduling time with Maddie though, because I have to plan around all the nights Greg and I spend together. I did panic a little bit and bail on going to one of their basketball games that I had originally planned on attending. I was worried Madison would see me in the stands and come up to say hi, and the jig would be up.

This whole situation is definitely kind of weird. I actually feel like I'm almost cheating on Greg with Maddie. Like I'm somehow two-timing both of them? And while I know I'm not officially being unfaithful to my boyfriend in the traditional sense, there's no doubt I'm not being completely honest with him, either. The more I get to know Maddie though, the more I want to keep fostering the relationship with her, so I realize it's only a matter of time until I'm going to have to come clean, to both of them really.

I decide to dip my toe in the water so to speak, and this Friday I end up going to their basketball game. I don't know exactly what I'll say if Maddie spots me, but I figure I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I try to sit higher up in the stands to give me a better chance of not being noticed, or to avoid talking to her if she does happen to see me.

The game goes great for the Cardinals, as they end up winning easily. In fact, I think they're still undefeated on the year, which is really exciting. Madison even scores a basket during the game, but without a dramatic ending like the season opener had, there aren't any noteworthy hugs between Greg and our favorite bench player.

Just like in the first game I went to, I keep a close eye on Maddie throughout, and just like last time, she appears to be very focused on her coach. It's all so intriguing, and now that I've gotten to know her a bit, I'm so curious to hear what she would say about Greg if the topic was brought up.

Once the game ends, I purposefully hang back up in the stands longer than I normally would. I'm pretty sure Madison never sees me, and once I see that she's heading out of the gym for good, I make my way down onto the court to congratulate Greg on his latest victory. He's obviously very happy with the outcome of the contest, and thanks me again for coming.

Just like last game, we both drove separately here, so I ask my boyfriend if he's up for spending the night at my place, but somewhat surprisingly, he politely declines.

I try not to make much of it, but I do feel like we've been a little distant these past two weeks. It's obviously 100% my fault with all my secret hangouts with Madison, but I feel bad that it's actually starting to affect our relationship! Somewhat ironically, ever since Maddie and I first met at the animal shelter, I've barely mentioned her name while Greg and I have been together. So perhaps I've just been overly quiet in general, and that's making our interactions a little cold? I guess there could also be some lingering effects from the porn movie we watched together, too? I definitely think I'm okay with how that ended, but perhaps Greg is still weirded out by what went down.