The transformation of an Egyptian girl brought up with traditional values and ignorance into a modern emancipated woman.
As part of the research for my studies in archaeology and Alexander the Great I decided to spend some time in Alexandria, Egypt. The fact that my name was Alexander was not coincidental. He was my hero. There are enormous areas close to Alexandria which are still being dug and investigated. I was happy to go to Alexandria because it was distant from Cairo and seemed to have none of the disruption caused by the recent riots in Cairo.
As part of my preparation to go I spent a fair bit of time on the Internet trying to find out about Egypt and what I discovered surprised me. I scarcely know where to start. For a start the Internet is censored in Egypt and you cannot get everything you want.
What surprised me most was the fact that some 93% of all females in Egypt had been exposed to FGM. I thought that was the case south of Egypt but I was wrong. I discovered that there is no sex education in Egypt and the ignorance level is unbelievable. There were at one time sex education classes but the teachers, especially the female ones, were so embarrassed that they virtually taught nothing. Young women who had been promised in arranged marriages had to get special classes to instruct them in preparation for their marriage. It seems that virginity was highly prized both for men and for women.
Some women were so terrified of sex that they developed vaginismus. Sexual harassment occurred to 98% of all foreign female tourists who came to Egypt and also to some 65% of local women. What were the men thinking? I had always imagined Egyptians to be something like inhabitants of the West except with a lower standard of living but in fact there was a whole new dimension that I could scarcely comprehend.
In theory women were equal to men but in practice they were very much under male domination and control with very little regard for the feelings. With that knowledge it never occurred to me that I might find a woman to dally with in Egypt. I accepted that I would be celibate in Egypt.
I organised accommodation in a cheap hotel for a few days until I could get myself organised into an apartment. On my first day I turned up at the office which organised all the excavations and was met by the manager who had been in charge for quite a few years. He introduced me to his assistant Mona, mainly because of her knowledge of English. Communication with others in the office was not very good.
I was aware that everyone in the office was looking at me in a special way but I had not noticed that one in particular was looking at me in a 'special' special way. Mona was around 20 years old and dressed in the typical female clothing of Egypt -- a headscarf, a long dress down to the ground and a sweater and cardigan. Mona was also a university student working during the holidays. Nobody could have any idea of what she looked like underneath all those shapeless clothes. Her skin colour was a light brown, and her hair very dark. Her brown eyes were very dark and sparkling bright. Her fingers were delicate and well-shaped.
At meal breaks it always seemed that Mona was at my side. I cannot describe what her body looked like because I could not see her body. It turned out that she had been in England for a few weeks learning English and wanted to practice conversation. I was actually surprised at how good her English was. I asked her about getting accommodation and she said she could help.
Apparently her father was very well off and owned a few apartments. He had apparently made a lot of money from government contracts. The rent was expensive for Egyptians but very cheap in English pounds and I took it. Fortunately, it was quite close to where we were working. Every time we sat down for a meal she sat down next to me.
A few weeks after I arrived she suggested that we go to Cairo to see the big Museum. Apparently we could not be seen together so we took two separate trains to Cairo and met there. We took the train back early to avoid the peak hour crush. Mona told me to go back to the apartment and she would come separately after buying some food for dinner. A few minutes after I got back she entered with her own key.
It was then that I found she was living in the same block. This in itself was an event of enormous significance. I had not realised that Mona would never have allowed herself to be alone in a room with an Egyptian man. She could not and would not trust them.
After a tasty dinner we sat down and talked sitting on the couch watching TV. Mona was trying to explain what was happening but it was very difficult. She went back into the kitchen to wash up and I went to help. Mona gave me a special look.
She stood very close next to me and I was aware that her hip was touching mine all the time. It could not have been an accident. I realised that Mona had other ideas beyond the dinner. As we washed the dishes together she looked into my eyes with a loving look and held my hand.
It was unexpected because I had no idea there was any possibility of this in a country where reputation and virginity were so highly valued. I had not realised that a major barrier had already been passed -- Mona was alone in a room with a man for the first time in her life. She could see that I enjoyed her company and she trusted me because I had not tried to take advantage of her in any way. I had the feeling that something could happen between us but no idea how things like that worked out in the Moslem world.
We sat down on the couch while she still held my hand and talked. For the first time she talked about how wonderful it was to live in London learning English and dress in Western clothes without a headscarf. She loved the freedom. She loved the sense of freedom that allowed young people to do what they wanted without the close supervision of their parents and family.
Apparently her two older sisters were married to two local men and they complained to her that their husbands treated them badly. They never discussed sex because nobody did that in Egypt. Women had few rights and Mona had decided that she was going to leave Egypt and live a better life. It was all becoming clear that I was part of her plans to become a Western woman.
What Mona hadn't told me was that she had been thinking about her virginity ever since she came back from England. She wanted to try sex. It seemed that it was only important to keep it so that you could get a husband but she had no intention of finding an Egyptian husband. It followed that it was only valuable to the Egyptian husband and not to her. If that was the case, why keep it?
Mona was not exactly aware of the details but knew that the husband wanted to be the first to insert his penis into her vagina -- she had no idea why that was important. Could he tell if he was the first? How would he know? In London it didn't seem important and everybody seemed happy enough. Mona was determined to find her own husband and not be part of an arranged marriage.
