Ch. 01 - Anticipation

Shannon carefully opened the door to 217, her new dorm. As the room opened into view, she mistakenly thought she had arrived first. Crisp white mattress covers were still bare on the minimal black metal bunk beds and the walls were undecorated.

But there on the floor in the corner was a young woman in black yoga pants, and an impossibly short crop top sweatshirt. She was balancing a paperback on one knee while she ate a sandwich with her other hand, back against her luggage.

"Hi!" the new girl's face lit up with a delight Shannon couldn't match.

The girl had a rich, dark complexion that seemed to glow in the sunlight. Her full lips were offset by a shining silver lip ring, and her ears held restrained, black gauges. Something about her radiated warmth and composure in a way that was magnetic.

"Hi," Shannon stammered, scanning the floor with her eyes when she realized she was staring. The girl was strikingly beautiful.

"I'm Maya," her roommate offered, extending her hand as she stood up.

"Shannon."

The girl was an inch taller than Shannon. And she had an extremely full sports bra that peaked out from under her cropped sweatshirt.

Shannon looked back at the floor.

Don't stare. Don't be a creeper. Just be normal.

"Pre-law and Gender Studies," Maya announced.

Shannon looked puzzled for a moment. "My majors," Maya added with a smile.

"Oh. Psych," Shannon replied, embarrassed.

"So, I wanted to wait until you got here to see what bunk you wanted. Where you wanted to put stuff up," Maya explained, finishing off her sandwich, "Top or bottom?"

"I'll take bottom," Shannon offered meekly.

That's the less good one, right?

"I can be top," Maya agreed, smiling, sliding a bookmark in place and tossing her novel on the upper mattress.

As they unpacked, her roommate's aesthetic became more fleshed out. Maya's comforter was a dark geometric pattern contrasted with Shannon's more delicate light gray and pink pattern. Maya had adorned her desk with a progressive pride flag--blue, white, pink, brown, and black protruding into the traditional rainbow, a pro-union sticker, and a small portrait of her in a formal dress with her arms around another girl in one of their backyards, smiling at the camera.

Maya caught her looking.

Don't say something stupid

Shannon ordered herself.

"Your girlfriend?" she checked in with what she hoped was a normal, not judgy, not creepy voice.

"Just friends these days," Maya answered, lost in thought for only a brief moment.

Shannon realized Maya was now gauging her for her response.

"Oh, cool," she mumbled.

Shannon quickly turned back to unpacking. Even though it had been religious, there definitely had been out girls at St. Helen's High. But Shannon had never really had a close queer friend, she realized. Or a close friend who wasn't white, for that matter.

"My friend Sam went to our prom with her girlfriend," she finally added.

Friend was a stretch. More like acquaintance. And what does that have to do with anything. Yay! You know a gay person!

Shannon chided herself.

Maya just nodded, resuming her unpacking.

A while later, sitting in her small desk chair, Shannon found herself again studying Maya while she transferred her clothes to her built-in dresser with her back to Shannon.

Her new roommate--almost definitely--almost

certainly

--had no underwear on under those yoga pants. And as she reached up to put some more things on her top bunk, the hem of the sweatshirt rode up, revealing more perfect bare skin and the soft fabric of the clingy sports bra. Maya's movements caused her sweatshirt to shift, giving Shannon a glimpse of her toned back and hips and the side of her bra stretching around the curved side of her chest and...

Stop

. Shannon chided herself, looking away.

Why are you clocking other girl's modesty? You're a body -positive feminist young woman who champions bodily autonomy, hates victim blaming, hates slut shaming...

Now Maya was sliding her empty suitcase deep under their bunkbed. Her yoga pants were clinging to her genitals-Shannon had heard boys at school call it 'camel toe,'-the pants' seam splitting her intimately down the middle. It left no doubt to Shannon's imagination: There was definitely no underwear between those pants and...

Stop it

Shannon groaned internally, turning her back to Maya and pinching the bridge of her nose, taking a deep breath.

You're not at a school run by the Roman Catholic Church anymore. There aren't uniforms. People are here from all different walks of life and backgrounds and worldviews and...

"I think I'm going to head to the 'walk in movie'," Maya said, interrupting her thoughts.

Shannon let out a quiet sigh of relief, grateful for the break in the weird fixation she was having with her new roommate.

The school was having an outdoor screening of

Independence Day

in the quad. There would be more nametags and ice breakers and hotdogs and new faces there.

"I actually think I'm going to go for a run. And I could use a shower," Shannon replied, standing, her hands resting on her hips.

A cold shower

she thought.

"Ok. Well, see you in a couple hours, then?" Maya offered.

Shannon nodded with what she hoped was a beaming smile.

____

Later in the afternoon Shannon retreated into her bathroom, locking the door behind her with a satisfying click. Dorm rooms with private bathrooms had been on her requirements list while college hunting.

She removed her earbuds and rested two fingers on her neck, checking her pulse as she caught her breath. Her workout clothes were drenched from a long run around her new campus. Strands of sweat-soaked bangs clung to her forehead and temples.

Maya had just texted that she was joining a game of ultimate frisbee and would be out for a few more hours.

Glancing at her reflection in the mirror, Shannon's heart fluttered with nervous excitement for tomorrow-finally starting classes. It felt like a world away from her four years at St. Helens High School. It was all a lot to process and she was grateful for the temporary escape that running provided.

The gray track t-shirt she had from high school clung to her body, plastered against her white sports bra. Her short blonde hair was pulled back into two low pigtails, but loose strands had escaped and stuck to her moistened skin. Shannon took a moment to study her petite figure in the mirror before sitting on the toilet to untie her shoes. Tugging at her white socks, she felt the relief of the air on her aching feet. She sat for a moment, catching her breath.

Sitting on the cool lid, she couldn't help but feel uncomfortable with the way her crotch felt after running - damp and sticky. The longer inner lips between her legs rubbed together uncomfortably, while perspiration pooled up between her cheeks.

With a sigh, Shannon stood up and peeled off her t-shirt, taking another look at herself in the mirror. Her small nipples pressed against the fabric of her sports bra, making Shannon wish she had the confidence to run without a shirt like some of the other girls she had seen. After all, she didn't need much support for her small breasts anyway.

She peeled off her clingy bra, revealing bright red marks wrapping around her ribs where it had been digging in. The relief was instant and welcome.

Shannon rubbed at the lines for a moment. Then her short shorts and underwear came off with one motion as Shannon reached in to turn the shower on. The red lines around her hips weren't as bright. Shannon frowned for a minute at the sight of herself nude in the full-length mirror. She gently cupped her breasts, wishing they were fuller and less freckled.

As the water warmed up Shannon sat back down on the toilet, her elbows on her knees as a warm stream of urine escaped from between her thighs. Flushing, she finally stepped into the lukewarm shower, letting the water cascade over her body. Shannon closed her eyes and savored the feeling of coolness as it washed away the sweat and grime from her run. She released her pigtails and lathered up her hair, luxuriating in the sensation of water against her skin.

Sitting on the edge of the tub-the water still beating against her knees and thighs-she reached for her pink razor and carefully touched up any rough patches on her legs. Then she did her best to spread her knees apart and propped one leg up on the tub. Gently, she dragged the razor along the sensitive skin of her mound, removing all traces of stubble that ringed her lips. With each stroke, a familiar tingling sensation stirred inside her.

Finally, leaning over as far as she could without losing balance, Shannon used one hand to smooth out the skin around her asshole. The small hairs there always caused an uncomfortable itch if she didn't shave regularly or let them grow out completely. But having stray wisps of pubic hair around her asshole didn't seem like a great way to kick off her college career. Not that anyone would be seeing her asshole. But still. She delicately swiped at the stubble in her crack, feeling a slightly different sensation radiating from there.

Shannon quickly pulled her finger back and set down the razor, lathering up her hands. They would smell so strongly of her crotch whenever she explored herself, even if she washed them. She scrubbed even harder, wanting to make sure there was no smell in the morning left from her spreading the skin around her openings.

She felt a warm moisture deeper inside her, different from the sweat or the shower water. Her mind wandered to images of exploring what it felt like when she slid something inside her.

Not now

Shannon thought, turning off the water.

Despite her efforts, Shannon could still smell a faint scent of herself on her hands as she opened the shower curtain.

She held her massive white towel to her face as she stepped out of her tub. She had never shared a room with anyone before.

More and more often at night she had the urge to explore herself, trying to figure out what felt nice. But playing with herself in bed at night would no longer be an option, and she didn't want her new roommate wondering about long showers. Maybe she could find some time in the bathroom when her roommate was at class?

The dull throb between her legs was getting stronger these days, and part of her wanted to figure out what to do with it.