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*****
It had been a long ride from the airport to Gram's house and her grandmother was tired and turned in early. Caitlyn wasn't tired though. She was lying in bed thinking what a train wreck her life had become. A year ago she could not have imagined doing the things she did last year but she had been like the frog in the warm water. The water gradually got warmer over time until it was too hot and she got burned.
I was a senior in high school and then my dad got transferred a job in Los Angeles.
I was apprehensive about moving to a different place but also excited to be moving to LA. I wasn't much of a winter person and the winters got very cold in the Midwest. I was looking forward to the dry sunny weather. The sun always perked me up and my mind was filled with the glamorous stereotypes of California, movie stars, beautiful scenery, the latest fashions and trends.
When we left home it was freezing and the ground was covered in a foot of snow. When I walked off the plane my skin was caressed by a heavenly 70 degree breeze and the bright sun almost overwhelmed my eyes. I couldn't believe it! This was my new winter? On the drive to our new home I saw palm trees. I had never seen a real palm tree before. Incredible! The house styles were so different. Stucco houses with beautiful tile roofs and cactuses in the front yard. People were wearing shorts and t-shirts in December! It was so cool!
My new house was beautiful and I loved the neighborhood and was bursting with excitement as I lay in bed that night. It took quite a while to get to sleep.
Everything was wonderful at first. Caitlyn quickly made friends with the kids in the neighborhood. It didn't hurt that she had a beautiful face and body. She was soon friends with all the 'in' girls and they quickly brought her up to speed. They all went to the same school and she fit in right away.
Some of the things her girlfriends talked about definitely shocked her though. Many had been dating for a long time and had moved way beyond what she had done. A few had even had sex. She didn't want to seem like a fool so she just nodded her head to make it seem like she was cool with everything even though she had barely done anything.
Her best friend Judy, was one of the more experienced girls and quickly guessed Caitlyn's secret. One day they had a heart to heart and Caitlyn admitted her inexperience. Judy was fabulous and agreed to set her up with a guy that she had dated. A week later she had gone out on her first date after a little pre-date pep talk from Judy.
"Now remember Caitlyn, Kevin is a very nice guy but he'll expect a bit more than what you may be used to. He's going to expect kissing and some touching so don't make a big deal when he tries, after all it's nothing."
I had a great time with Kevin. He was friendly and attractive and we were quickly kissing and touching each other. I couldn't believe how good it felt. I could have just kissed him all night long and when he touched my breasts I really got excited. This was definitely something I wanted to do again and soon!
Judy was so helpful. She took me to the local clinic and got me on the pill just to be safe. It didn't take long for Kevin and I to move beyond kissing and touching. We were both masturbating each other in no time and Kevin showed me how to give a good blow job and he definitely knew how to eat pussy. I never felt such pleasure in all my life!
I lost my virginity to Kevin. He was very gentle and after the initial pain it started to feel really good which I heard later was unusual for the first time. After that we had sex ever chance we got and tried everything we could think of. I quickly learned what I liked and didn't like and started to get very good at pleasing Kevin. Eventually I could even deep throat him and discovered all the sensitive spots on his body that really turned him on. In turn, he made me realize I liked to be on top, showed me my G-spot which I wasn't even aware of, and did everything he could to please me.
I'm not sure if Judy had decided that my 'training' with Kevin was finished but at one point she said I was ready to move on. She fed me a constant stream of new guys that she had already sampled and pre-approved and I didn't waste any time. Some of them I didn't like and just went out with once but by then I loved sex and most of her referrals were very pleasing to look at and be with and knew what they were doing. I had a great time.
After a while our high school started to seem like a fish bowl. We had dated most of the senior guys that we wanted to so Judy and I moved on to parties with older guys and guys from other schools. There were always lots of older guys interested in attractive high school girls and there was lots of free booze and pot at these parties which seemed great.
That's when things started to sour with my parents. It was one thing to explain coming home a bit late. Judy and I always had our stories planned so they never suspected anything. It was a bit harder to explain not coming home at all or coming home totally out of it and not remembering at breakfast the next day what lie you told the night before.
Expanding our dating territory also meant that we were frequently in unknown territory. There were many times when we hardly knew any of the guys at a party. Most of the guys were usually nice but sometimes they definitely were not. Some of them had never heard of the expression 'no means no' and some of them liked it rough even if we didn't.
As long as Judy and I were willing to be 'friendly' we could have whatever we wanted but after a while I started to feel uncomfortable. My relationship with my parents was strained. Waking up and not remembering what happened the previous night was an unpleasant feeling. Waking up and remembering what happened the previous night was sometimes even worse.
Here's the thing though, we are all prisoners of habit. Judy and I had done our 'thing' for so long that I could not imagine anything different. We were part of a group that all did the same thing and to me it seemed perfectly normal to be partying and having sex on a regular basis. It was the norm I was used to.
It all came to a head one night when Judy got roughed up fairly bad. I called her parents and called mine and then started to cry and cry and cry. My cool LA lifestyle was not so cool anymore but I knew if I stayed I would be unable to break out of the rut I was in and sooner or later, I might be where Judy was.
Thank God my parents realized the same thing and intervened. One day my Gram showed up and my parents told me I was leaving to live with her for a while. They made me pack and got me on a flight back home before I had a chance to come out of my shell shocked state.
Here I was, lying in bed at Gram's house, back where I was born, thinking about my screwed up life.
A bit about Gram. She was my mom's mom and a very strong willed woman. Apparently, she was a bit of a wild child in the 70's but managed to survive and eventually opened a women's clothing store which thrived over time. I had always had a special relationship with her. She treated me like an adult and it's her I turned to when I had sexual questions. My parents knew I respected her and that she wouldn't take any shit from me.
The next morning Gram was friendly but business like.
"Caitlyn, I don't care what happened in LA and I'm not here to judge you but I also expect you to live by my rules while you're in my house. I run a business and can't be watching you all the time and I expect you to behave while you are here. Are we clear?"
'Yes Gram."
"Consider this your second chance in life. Sometimes people don't get a second chance. Sometimes they just die like your friend almost did. Your parent's already called the local high school and explained the situation. You need to go down tomorrow and get registered so you can finish out your last term of high school. She went to leave and turned around and gave me a big hug. "You can't undo what you did but you can make a new start. Consider this your chance."
For my first day at school I wanted to be invisible. I wasn't ready to talk to anyone. I wasn't ready to make any friends. I wasn't ready to have any guys stare at me. I didn't want to explain to anyone who I was or where I had lived. I put on my baggiest track pants and a huge fleece sweat shirt to hide my body. No make up, no perfume, nothing. I pulled my hair back into a tight ponytail and covered my face in a baseball hat and hoped my plain outfit would keep everyone away.
The nights and weekends were the hardest. School kept me busy and kept my mind distracted but at home I was alone except for Gram and she was frequently at her store or out with friends. My mind kept wandering back to my life back in LA and to all the mistakes I made. My behavior looked incredibly stupid and immature and hurtful from a distance. Gram did her best to comfort me and kept telling me it was going to be okay but it didn't seem like it.
Then I saw him at school. He was way bigger than the little runt I remembered and his face had changed somewhat but I was sure it was him. It was Jared, and all of a sudden a surge of happy sweet innocent memories flooded my mind.
Jared and I were best buds or junior soul mates when I was little. We lived next door and did everything together. Jared's parents were always fighting so Jared would often flee to the quietness of my house and to adults that weren't always screaming at each other. My parents went out of their way to treat him like one of theirs. We were always together, at my house, or playing outside or exploring on our bikes. We talked to each other about anything and everything.
I was excited but too nervous to approach him so I put my head down, turned around and walked away as quickly as possible. All the way home though, my heart was pounding and I couldn't get him out of my head. That night I drifted off with excitement about what the next day would bring.
I woke in the morning feeling wonderful. For the first time in a long time I slept great. For the first time in a long time I wanted to get out of bed. In fact, I almost jumped out of the bed, feeling light as a feather, eager to get going. At breakfast Gram stared at me for a while until she finally said, "You look like the cat that ate the canary. What's up?"
"Gram do you remember Jared?"
"Would that be the Jared that you were joined at the hip with for years and the Jared that you wanted to marry when you were eight?"
Caitlyn blushed at the memory of her marriage proposal.
"Yes Gram, that Jared. Does he still live around here?"
"As far as I know. I think I saw him about a year ago."
"Thanks Gram.'
Caitlyn was so excited. She literally felt like she was going to pop out of her skin! All she could think about was reconnecting with Jared but she wasn't ready yet. She was too nervous. She needed to make sure it was him, so she put on her trusty camouflage outfit of baggy track top and pants, ponytail, no makeup, baseball hat and shades. She didn't realize it but she had a huge grin on her face the entire walk to school.
The school was not that big and there were not that many senior classes so she figured he must be in at least one of her classes. She sat at the back of each class and watched the people come in. It didn't take long. He was in her second class and the teacher asked 'Jared' a question.
It really was him! When class was over she left as quickly as possible, still unable to approach him. Later in the day she saw him walking down the hall straight towards her or at least it seemed like that to her. She turned around against a locker and waited for him to go by. After he passed, she quickly turned around to walk away but ran head on into someone coming the other way. Her books and hat and glasses went flying all over the place and she fell to the floor.
Oh my God, could this be any more embarrassing! She quickly realized she wasn't hurt but there were a few snickers and she realized she had lost her hat and glasses. Someone leaned over and asked if she was okay. She looked up and it was Jared! Without her hat and glasses and with her ponytail, she looked similar to what she was like when Jared would have seen her last.
"Caitlyn?"
