I always kind of thought my friend (Carson) from college might be gay but I never said anything and neither did he. I think he understood that I was comfortable with my sexuality and the fact that he was very masculine made it very easy for us to get along well.
One night, him and I were drinking some beer while watching a basketball game. It was a double-header so by the time the 3rd quarter of the second game came around, we had both consumed a good amount of alcohol. So much so, that Carson clumsily dropped one of his unopened beers and foolishly opened it right after. More of it got on my shirt compared to his.
"I'm so sorry," Carson cried cleaning up the little bit that got onto the couch.
"It's alright, man," I slurred. I was dancing on the borderline of buzzed and drunk so the spill hardly phased me. Carson took off his stained shirt.
"Here," he said with his hand out, "let me get your shirt and I'll throw these in the wash for you."
Really feeling the rush in my head, I sat up a bit and stumbled to get my arms out of the sleeves.
"Let me get that for you," Carson offered as he helped pull the shirt up and over my head.
My face was inches away from his chest. He had a slimmer, toned build where as mine was a little thicker and more athletic. You could tell I was the one lifting weights about 5 times a week and that he ran a few miles every morning. I could tell the alcohol was doing the thinking in my brain when after Carson left the room to wash our shirts, I was still fixated on his torso and chest. That's when I knew the beer in my hand was going to be my last one of the night.
Later on, halfway through the fourth quarter and two more beers in each of us, I could feel Carson's eyes on my shirtless upper body. I didn't let it bother me because the alcohol in my system had my mind and body at ease. I was actually starting to grow very tired and each blink of my eyes lasted longer the last. The beginning of a 12 hour shift that started before the sun even came up and the fact that we were hours past when the sun had gone down was starting to weigh on my eyelids.
Thinking back on it now, Carson must have saw me as putty in his hands but at the time that never even crossed my mind.