"Take picture, it'll last longer," she said without looking away from the clothes she was arranging on the rack in front of her.
"Excuse me?" I said defensively even though I knew exactly why she said it. I felt the blood rise in my cheeks. She had caught me staring at her ass.
"If you're going to stand there and stare, you should just take a picture," she repeated. "But if you want my phone number, you should just ask for it."
"I would very much like to have your phone number," I answered, still flustered at being caught staring.
"I'll give it to you," she said, "but you have to promise me you won't text me pictures of your penis. My mother looks at my phone from time to time and it wouldn't go well for you if she found you distributing pornography to a minor since I'm only seventeen."
Her candor was refreshing and though I was initially attracted to her because she had, in my opinion, a perfect ass, I was beginning to sense that I was going to find her attractive on so many more levels.
"Can I ask you a question?" she asked after we exchanged names and numbers.
"Anything," I answered.
"Really?" she asked, feigning surprise. "You're brave enough to answer anything I ask you?"
"May-be," I answered hesitantly.
"Why were you staring at my ass?"
"Because it is absolutely wonderful!" I said with enthusiasm. She was wearing yoga pants that fit like skin and left nothing to the imagination, and though her butt was a little larger than those I was normally entranced by, it stood firm and proud. A pair of tight jeans might give the illusion of a firm derriere; yoga pants told the truth. "I want it."
"You do realize that my ass is attached to the rest of me, right? I come as a package deal. You'll be stuck with all of me."
"If you're trying to discourage me, it won't be that easy," I said.
"Well, it just so happens that I could use a ride home from work tonight. If you spring for McDonalds first, I might let you take pictures of my butt."
"Um. Okay," I answered, somewhat taken aback by her last remark.
"Meet me out front at 5:30."
"It's a date!" I said, grinning like an idiot. It occurred to me that she was completely running the show, but I wasn't complaining. I couldn't have done it better myself.
I was in front of the Buy-Mart at a quarter past five. Savannah was not. I didn't expect her to be, so I wasn't worried. When 5:35 rolled around and she still hadn't shown up I started getting nervous. At 5:40, I was just beginning to get a sinking feeling, thinking I'd been stood up, when I got a text message that she was on her way out and sorry for being late.
Savannah spotted me as soon as she exited the building and I hurried to open the door for her.
"Ooh, a gentleman," she purred.
"I'll probably forget how to do that by the time we get to your house," I quipped.
"That's fine," she said, pushing back a lock of hair. "It's not one of my hang-ups."
"What are your hang-ups?"
"I'm kind of a control freak," she answered. "I get really uncomfortable when I feel like things are out of control—which segues into my next hang-up. I'm kind of clingy. Now that we've started a relationship, I'll be stuck to you like gum on the sole of your shoe. You'll have to give up all your other girlfriends and focus on me." She sprouted a grin to soften the severity of what she had said, but we both understood that she was completely serious.
"So, we're in a relationship and going steady all in the space of five minutes?" I queried, just as a test.
"Isn't it amazing? And if things go the way I hope, we'll be practically married about two hours from now!"
It kind of sounded like she was joking, but I knew that she wasn't. Savannah was all-in already. I considered what that might mean as I drove us to McDonalds. It might mean I would get laid, which was certainly a huge plus for me. At this point in my life, most of my sexual experience involved hand lotion and Kleenex. Everything I knew was gleaned from the men's magazines my father used to leave laying around. But it also might mean my life was over. It sounded like Savannah had no room in my life for other girls—not that there were other girls, so I didn't dwell too long on this point. I decided that it didn't bother me that she was all-in. I could deal with it. And if the relationship became too toxic, there must be fifty ways to leave your lover (thanks, Paul Simon!).
"So, what are your hang-ups—wait. Before you answer, I have to tell you my super most important hang-up. I demand complete and total honesty. So, be honest when you tell me what your hang-ups are.
"Being on time," I shot back because it came so immediately to mind.
"Ouch!" Savannah said. "I'm sorry I was late. I got hung up with a customer."
"I wasn't saying that to scold you. It just popped into my mind."
"Ok. What else?"
"I hate practical jokes."
"Ok. Good to know. What else?"
"I can't think of anything else."
"Do I frighten you?" she asked.
"Huh?" I asked, confused at the question.
"Does my domineering clinginess frighten you or suffocate you?"
"No," I answered honestly, "but it's only been ten minutes."
"Good point," she said, relaxing somewhat. "But tell me if I get to be too much for you. I guess I just need to be needed and wanted and so I can be overwhelming. Or so I've been told."