How am I going to tell this story? The idea of sharing with everyone, my first time, I have wanted to for so long, it has been such an erotic idea to play with, an auto-invasion of my own privacy.
Finally, I dare myself. The first time with anyone? Or with a white guy? They were the same actually. My first time with a guy was with a white guy. Right, this was when I went to college, I mean, I hadn't really been with many guys at all, I hadn't slept with anyone, and fooled around with only a few others, all Asian boys. Some of them okay, some of them I fell in love with a little, but I didn't go far with them. Kissing was about all.
I knew Paul, to see I mean, he lived about ten minutes away from us. And we ended up going to the same college, both of us, sadly, remaining at home, with our parents. I was studying medicine, he was doing English Lit. I think. And we found ourselves bumping into each other, and travelling in on the train sometimes. And, well, I did find him attractive, more than just that, I had a slight crush on him, even before I knew him, when I only knew him to look at. And he was nice. A little bit shy, not at all arrogant, which is a quality I hate. We sort of hit it off a bit. We went to see a film. I asked him I think, after some lectures, walking back to the station, passing a cinema, he said yes. And that was when we first kissed.
We were watching, and then I felt him looking at me, so I turned, he was looking at me, I smiled, but looked away. I wanted to look back. And, somehow, I don't know, I felt bolder than I had with Pakistani boys. I turned to him again, gazed at his handsome face, his beautiful green eyes, his lips, god, his full soft lips, and he rested his hand on my leg. Our look, his hand, I felt myself filling with adrenalin, felt the sudden simmer of arousal. He sort of moved to me, but didn't quite, so, I was the one, I moved my head to his and leaned in and we kissed. It was lovely, just amazing. He tasted different to Asian boys, but nice. We were so soft, so gently, our lips barely touching, the tip of his soft tongue touching mine. And then I felt his hand on my breast, gently touching me there, cupping me through my T-shirt.
I felt my small nipple become stiff, and sensed myself become wet between my legs. I am not sure I had felt this before, in this context, he kissed me, his hand was on my breast, so soft, and I felt a sudden dampness in my vagina. It was so arousing, to feel this, to feel my young body reacting. I rested my hand on his thigh, I didn't know quite what to do, I mean, I knew what I could do, I didn't know quite how far I wanted to take this, but, well, I moved my hand upward, up along his firm thigh, and I put my hand on his crotch, I put my hand on his crotch, and felt his penis, through his jeans, and he was already hard.
God, this was, I mean, I really hadn't done anything, apart from kiss, this was the first time I had even done this, we kissed, I touched his tongue with mine, I felt his lips on mine, and his hand on my breast, stroking me there, squeezing my stiffened nipple, and I moved my hand over his cock, I felt it, so hot, so thrillingly hard, I felt it move, as I touched, it grew, it got harder still, bigger, as we kissed and stroked, and, well, I was really quite aroused, I knew my vagina would be so wet now, I could almost feel it, feel my panties sticking to my damp sex.
I was emboldened, and turned on, I rubbed Paul's stiff cock, sort of held it, bent it with my hand, and felt his hand move under my T-shirt, and touch the cool smooth dark skin of my stomach, and then up, he touched my breast through the thin material of my bra, then went under this, and I felt his hand stroking my bare breast, his penis jumped as he touched me, I felt him move, pulse and stiffen some more, he pinched my erect nipple, I rubbed his hard penis.
We stopped for a bit, watched the film for a bit, he kept his hand on my thigh, on my jeans, and moved it slowly upwards, so he was near my crotch, holding me, squeezing my leg, as he did I moved my hand onto his thigh, and shadowed his movement, then, this felt so daring, to be the first to do this, I moved my hand back to his crotch, and placed it back over his penis, he was still hard, even though we weren't kissing, I moved my legs apart a little, wanting him to touch more of me, I wished I was wearing a skirt, a dress, I would have let him go under, inside my panties, I would have let him touch my bare pussy right there.
But he covered my groin, he covered my vulva with his hand, I mean, outside my trousers, touching me as I was touching him, I felt his fingers pressing onto me, I was so wet now, I knew it, I knew he would be able to feel the heat emanating from my vagina, he turned to me again, our hands on each other, and leant back in to kiss me, I opened my mouth for him, fought his tongue with mine, harder this time, more abandoned, I savoured the soft cool texture of his lips on mine, and felt his cock stiffen more, and his fingers press harder, touching my damp sex lips, rubbing me up and down as I was rubbing his cock, god I wanted him now, I knew, if we had been alone I would have undone his trousers, and mine, I would have guided his cock inside me, I wanted to be wearing a skirt, I wanted Paul to be able to put his hand up there, touch me only through my panties, then inside, I wanted to feel his fingers on my naked pussy, touching my thick labia, touching my warm wet cunt. God, I am feeling quite aroused again, writing about this.
We kissed throughout the movie, and touched each other. Paul felt my breasts, underneath my bra, and I touched his stiff cock, through his trousers, and he rubbed my hot vulva through mine. And the film ended, and we left.
We were in college the next day I think, and we travelled home together, on the train, we hadn't kissed again, even the day before, after leaving the cinema, I didn't know whether he wanted to. I felt nervous about asking, or trying to kiss him. Anyway, we walked past my road, which was a way back from the main road, and I asked if he wanted to come in, for a cup of tea or something. And he said he did. So.
We walked to my house, I knew my mum and dad were both at work, and my sister still in school. We'd be alone. I did make tea, and we drank it in the living room. We usually chatted okay, but we were both pretty quiet, I put my tea down, and put my hand on Paul's leg, on his thigh, he looked at me, we didn't kiss, I rubbed his leg, and looked at his crotch, as I held and touched him I saw the bulge in his trousers get bigger, his penis was getting hard again, because of my hand. We still weren't kissing, and Paul wasn't touching me anywhere, I watched his penis increase in size, it was almost sticking straight up from his thighs.
I asked, I wanted to. I asked.
"Can I see it. Paul, can I look at your penis?"
"Yes, yes, I want you to."