How am I going to tell this story? The idea of sharing with everyone, my first time, I have wanted to for so long, it has been such an erotic idea to play with, an auto-invasion of my own privacy.
Finally, I dare myself. The first time with anyone? Or with a white guy? They were the same actually. My first time with a guy was with a white guy. Right, this was when I went to college, I mean, I hadn't really been with many guys at all, I hadn't slept with anyone, and fooled around with only a few others, all Asian boys. Some of them okay, some of them I fell in love with a little, but I didn't go far with them. Kissing was about all.
I knew Paul, to see I mean, he lived about ten minutes away from us. And we ended up going to the same college, both of us, sadly, remaining at home, with our parents. I was studying medicine, he was doing English Lit. I think. And we found ourselves bumping into each other, and travelling in on the train sometimes. And, well, I did find him attractive, more than just that, I had a slight crush on him, even before I knew him, when I only knew him to look at. And he was nice. A little bit shy, not at all arrogant, which is a quality I hate. We sort of hit it off a bit. We went to see a film. I asked him I think, after some lectures, walking back to the station, passing a cinema, he said yes. And that was when we first kissed.
We were watching, and then I felt him looking at me, so I turned, he was looking at me, I smiled, but looked away. I wanted to look back. And, somehow, I don't know, I felt bolder than I had with Pakistani boys. I turned to him again, gazed at his handsome face, his beautiful green eyes, his lips, god, his full soft lips, and he rested his hand on my leg. Our look, his hand, I felt myself filling with adrenalin, felt the sudden simmer of arousal. He sort of moved to me, but didn't quite, so, I was the one, I moved my head to his and leaned in and we kissed. It was lovely, just amazing. He tasted different to Asian boys, but nice. We were so soft, so gently, our lips barely touching, the tip of his soft tongue touching mine. And then I felt his hand on my breast, gently touching me there, cupping me through my T-shirt.
I felt my small nipple become stiff, and sensed myself become wet between my legs. I am not sure I had felt this before, in this context, he kissed me, his hand was on my breast, so soft, and I felt a sudden dampness in my vagina. It was so arousing, to feel this, to feel my young body reacting. I rested my hand on his thigh, I didn't know quite what to do, I mean, I knew what I could do, I didn't know quite how far I wanted to take this, but, well, I moved my hand upward, up along his firm thigh, and I put my hand on his crotch, I put my hand on his crotch, and felt his penis, through his jeans, and he was already hard.
God, this was, I mean, I really hadn't done anything, apart from kiss, this was the first time I had even done this, we kissed, I touched his tongue with mine, I felt his lips on mine, and his hand on my breast, stroking me there, squeezing my stiffened nipple, and I moved my hand over his cock, I felt it, so hot, so thrillingly hard, I felt it move, as I touched, it grew, it got harder still, bigger, as we kissed and stroked, and, well, I was really quite aroused, I knew my vagina would be so wet now, I could almost feel it, feel my panties sticking to my damp sex.
I was emboldened, and turned on, I rubbed Paul's stiff cock, sort of held it, bent it with my hand, and felt his hand move under my T-shirt, and touch the cool smooth dark skin of my stomach, and then up, he touched my breast through the thin material of my bra, then went under this, and I felt his hand stroking my bare breast, his penis jumped as he touched me, I felt him move, pulse and stiffen some more, he pinched my erect nipple, I rubbed his hard penis.
We stopped for a bit, watched the film for a bit, he kept his hand on my thigh, on my jeans, and moved it slowly upwards, so he was near my crotch, holding me, squeezing my leg, as he did I moved my hand onto his thigh, and shadowed his movement, then, this felt so daring, to be the first to do this, I moved my hand back to his crotch, and placed it back over his penis, he was still hard, even though we weren't kissing, I moved my legs apart a little, wanting him to touch more of me, I wished I was wearing a skirt, a dress, I would have let him go under, inside my panties, I would have let him touch my bare pussy right there.
But he covered my groin, he covered my vulva with his hand, I mean, outside my trousers, touching me as I was touching him, I felt his fingers pressing onto me, I was so wet now, I knew it, I knew he would be able to feel the heat emanating from my vagina, he turned to me again, our hands on each other, and leant back in to kiss me, I opened my mouth for him, fought his tongue with mine, harder this time, more abandoned, I savoured the soft cool texture of his lips on mine, and felt his cock stiffen more, and his fingers press harder, touching my damp sex lips, rubbing me up and down as I was rubbing his cock, god I wanted him now, I knew, if we had been alone I would have undone his trousers, and mine, I would have guided his cock inside me, I wanted to be wearing a skirt, I wanted Paul to be able to put his hand up there, touch me only through my panties, then inside, I wanted to feel his fingers on my naked pussy, touching my thick labia, touching my warm wet cunt. God, I am feeling quite aroused again, writing about this.
We kissed throughout the movie, and touched each other. Paul felt my breasts, underneath my bra, and I touched his stiff cock, through his trousers, and he rubbed my hot vulva through mine. And the film ended, and we left.
We were in college the next day I think, and we travelled home together, on the train, we hadn't kissed again, even the day before, after leaving the cinema, I didn't know whether he wanted to. I felt nervous about asking, or trying to kiss him. Anyway, we walked past my road, which was a way back from the main road, and I asked if he wanted to come in, for a cup of tea or something. And he said he did. So.
We walked to my house, I knew my mum and dad were both at work, and my sister still in school. We'd be alone. I did make tea, and we drank it in the living room. We usually chatted okay, but we were both pretty quiet, I put my tea down, and put my hand on Paul's leg, on his thigh, he looked at me, we didn't kiss, I rubbed his leg, and looked at his crotch, as I held and touched him I saw the bulge in his trousers get bigger, his penis was getting hard again, because of my hand. We still weren't kissing, and Paul wasn't touching me anywhere, I watched his penis increase in size, it was almost sticking straight up from his thighs.
I asked, I wanted to. I asked.
"Can I see it. Paul, can I look at your penis?"
"Yes, yes, I want you to."
So I moved my hand to his belt, and undid this, and then undid his button, all the while my wrist was touching his penis, I could feel how stiff he was, I unzipped his trousers, Paul lifted his bum off the chair, I pulled his trousers down, to his ankles, and looked at his crotch, he was wearing quite small white pants, not Y-fronts, smaller even, his cock was so hard, it was sticking up now, now I'd pulled his trousers down, I could see the top of his pubic hair, god, I felt myself getting wet again, looking, waiting, hesitating, looking at the shape, the outline of Paul's hard penis, it curved from his pubis up and down in a thick and long arc to the tops of his thighs, it strained against his underwear, pulling the material away from his waist, exposing his thick bush, I could see this, I could see someone's pubic hair for the first time, I looked at the thick curly line of his dark manly sexual growths.
I couldn't stop though, I didn't want to. I took hold of the waist band of his underwear, feeling his soft pubic hair against the back of my fingers, I was breathless with excitement, I pulled his pants down, slowly, looking as his penis was revealed, the base of it, thick, hair growing around it, I pulled some more, quicker, and released his hard cock, I almost had an orgasm right then, looking, just looking at his stiff cock springing free, bouncing up from his underwear, god he looked huge, his cock looked just massive to me, pale, I suppose, I was used to my own skin, pink and smooth, it was thick, and long, it still got even bigger.
I looked at it grow in length, it pulsed upwards, rising, seemingly of its own accord, I was staring at a boy's exposed penis as it become aroused, as it stiffened in front of me, ready, I knew, in order that it could be inserted into a woman's wet vagina, he was getting hard, his cock was getting erect and rigid so he could slide it inside my tight wet virgin cunt. It grew harder, longer, and thicker, it was now sticking straight upwards, the soft wrinkle of his foreskin being pulled back, just slightly, so I could see his glans, the lips of his meatus, and his scrotum, god, I'd never even seen pictures, not really, and I'd never seen one on the flesh, his scrotum was drawn up tight, the skin there was darker than on his penis, wrinkled, hairy, drawing up his large oval testicles. I pushed Paul's pants down to his ankles, and stared at his exposed and aroused genitals.
I didn't do anything for what felt like ages, just looked, stared at Paul's hard exposed male part, looking for the first time at a boy's bare penis, a white boy's erect cock, I wanted to study it, to memorise, the length of it, the thickness, the colour, it looked so smooth, so thick, wider in the middle, the shape of his tip showing from underneath his pale foreskin, the curved line of his engorged glans. Then I asked if I could touch it, I asked.
"Can I? Can I touch it? I want to, can I touch your penis?"
Paul said yes, he told me he wanted me to.
So, I reached for it, for his cock, and held it, I touched a boy's penis for the first time, I watched myself reach over with my slim brown fingers and curl them around his creamy pink cock. It felt so hard, just completely rigid, and so thick, I am quite small, I know, but even so, I could only just get my fingers around the shaft, it was warm, hot and stiff, but the skin was soft, and malleable, I gripped it, and moved my hand down, somehow I knew, I held the shaft of his cock firmly and pulled his foreskin back, and exposed the round smooth shiny tip of his penis, I watched myself pulling his prepuce back, stretching it over his darker, redder bulb. I was transfixed, by this final hidden part of him, of a boy's sex organ, this tight oval helmet, and the tiny narrow pursed slit of his exposed opening.
I saw a tiny drop of clear fluid appear from his urethra, and suddenly I was bending down, without thinking, drawn forward by my own arousal, by depraved lust, I bent and I kissed the end of his penis, I pushed out my soft wet tongue and licked this clear drop of pre-ejaculate, I licked the tip of his hard cock, it tasted sweet, I heard Paul breathing, suddenly, heavily, I looked up, his mouth was slightly open, he was looking at my hand on his cock, and just then my mouth, I knew he'd like me to take him in my mouth, I thought I might, I wanted to, I asked.