My family were holidaying at a little town out by the coast when I first saw her. I'd driven down to one of the local beaches and was relaxing with the sun, sea and sand, getting acquainted with some of the guys on the beach and casually flirting with some of the girls.
Just after lunch some cars arrived and a bunch of young people came pouring out of them. One of them was a real honey. A true blonde with bright blue eyes and a superb figure, especially when she ditched her sun-dress and displayed herself in a bikini. Every hormone I had stood up and saluted.
I decided that it was only right that I make the acquaintance of this lovely creature so I drifted over and started mingling with the group. I didn't approach the young lady right off, rather I started to chat with some of her hangers-on. It quickly became apparent that she was one subject they were willing to sound off on.
Her name was Coral. She was eighteen and the current beauty queen for the local apple festival. Or oranges. Some sort of fruit, anyway. She was personable, social, friendly and well worth the love and devotion that her admirers showered upon her.
She also seemed a bit bored with all the love and devotion, it seemed to me. Nothing that I could put your finger on, just a general feeling. Perhaps the irritation that flashed across her face when three or four young men all tried to offer a drink at the same time.
After an hour of hobnobbing with the retinue surrounding her I moved on to say hullo to the queen. Not that I had more than a chance to say hullo and introduce myself. Her adherents were very conscious of their position and had no intention of letting any outsider push in.
This sort of attitude didn't discourage me. I just made a show of getting closer acquainted with the adherents. By chatting with them and then dragging Coral into the conversation I soon got to know her a little better. Bright, friendly and, oddly, a little lonely. A whole bunch of friends but no-one special. Probably because they all fought each other off.
Eventually I saw Coral making motions to leave, so I decided that it was time for me to depart as well. Coral and her friends were most distressed to find the car that Coral has arrived in had a flat tyre. There was going to be a delay or Coral would have to go back in a different car.
It was funny to watch. The owners of the other cars were eager to give Coral a lift, but none of their passengers were willing to yield up their seat and thus miss out on travelling with her. I stepped into the breach.
"My car is right here and I don't have any passengers," I said smiling. "I can take Coral and the rest of you can just follow along."
This suggestion met with immediate disapproval from the other drivers but Coral didn't seem to mind. She accepted my offer. Neither did she object when I vetoed taking any more passengers.
"Sorry," I said, "but I've got all this junk on the back seat. It would just be too awkward to move it."
I escorted Coral to my car and opened the door for her. Everyone else scrambled into the other cars, not wanting to be left behind, bar the poor sod frantically changing his tyre. I drove off, a convoy behind me.
"So," I said. "How does it feel to be the Apple Queen?"
"I wouldn't know," Coral calmly replied. "I'm the Asparagus Queen myself."
"Ah. I knew it was a fruit of some sort."
"It's a vegetable."
"That's what I said. I knew it was a vegetable of some kind. But you're dodging the question. What's it like to be followed around by a pack of adoring sycophants? I only ask as it's never likely to happen to me."
"Let's just say that it gets tiring at times."
"That's what I thought. Why don't we shake the lot of them and go and have some quality us time."
"That's what they call a good idea and, at the same time, a very bad idea."
"I know, but that's not an answer."
She laughed.
"OK. It's a good idea because I'd like to shake the mob for an hour or so. It's a bad idea because you won't be able to shake them and if you did I don't want to find myself in a situation where I'm having to fight you off because you've got the wrong sort of idea."
"Shaking them off will be easy if you give me the go ahead before we hit town," I told her. "And you won't be in a situation where you'll have to fight me off. I can safely assure you that I already have the wrong sort of idea, or the right sort of idea, depending on which side of the idea you're standing on."
"Which seems to bring me to the point where I'll have to fight you off."
"Nonsense. There's no rule that says you can't capitulate without a struggle. Just go along with what I want and there'll be no need to fight."
"Trust a man to think like that. I'm a virgin. I don't do it. End of story."
"Why on earth would you let virginity worry you? I can assure you that it's not contagious and is easily cured. I suffered from the same problem myself once."
"Think well of yourself, don't you? I only met you this afternoon and you're trying to talk me into bed."
"Well, I see no reason in wasting time. If you want something you should at least try to have a go at getting it. You're not going to get anywhere unless you at least ask. And I'm not trying to get you into bed. Too hard to find one. I just thought I'd lure you into the back seat of my car, which seems to have miraculously lost all the stuff that I thought I had on it. So do we lose the happy horde or not?"
Coral considered it for a moment.
"OK. If you think you can do it, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let you seduce me, if that's your intention."
"That's my intention," I said happily. "We'll just have to see how things work out."
We were now approaching the town, and on the outskirts was McDonalds. I wound my window down and, sticking my arm out, I jabbed towards the sign. I pulled into McDonalds, heading for the drive through. The entourage followed close behind, like strings on a bead. I stopped at the speaker and ordered a couple of small chips and drove on to the pickup window.
"Listen, I know this is an awful cheek, but could you possibly do me a small favour?" I said to the server, giving her my most innocent smile. "Would it be possible for you to delay the car immediately behind me for a minute or two? The driver is a jealous ex-boyfriend, and he's been driving me mad since I decided to go straight. He just won't leave me alone. A slight delay and I'll be gone and have some quality time with my girl."
"Geez, that's rotten. Sure, I'll delay him. You just get going."