My wife and I had been out for the evening and were returning home. As we drove we were having a minor dispute about something that we'd seen on the 'net earlier in the day. Although hopelessly wrong, Irene was convinced she was right. She was jiggling up and down on the seat, urging me to go faster. She couldn't wait to get home and turn on the PC to prove to me that I was wrong.
We entered the house and Irene rushed for the computer, barely taking the time to wave to Nicki, our babysitter. By the time I strolled up Irene had brought up the history, shot down to the site we'd seen that morning and checked it.
After checking it she turned to me and immediately changed the subject.
"Really, Tim," she grumbled. "I thought you didn't look at porn sites."
"Eh?" I said. "I don't. What are you on about? You just don't want to admit you got it wrong."
Irene just dismissed our little debate with an airy gesture. She was more interested in the porn she thought I'd been watching.
"There's no need to lie about it," she told me crossly. "Look. It's all there in the history. I don't know how you find the time to bother with such trash."
I leaned over and checked the history and she was right for a change. There were a number of porn sites listed.
"Beats me how I found the time, too," I said. "Especially as I was with you at the Henderson's place."
I indicated the times that the sites had been visited.
Irene promptly got all huffy.
"This is ridiculous. There must be some sort of mistake. I mean, the kids wouldn't visit these sites, even by chance. They're much too young."
"And they'd have been in bed asleep," I murmured.
I watched with some amusement as it slowly dawned on Irene who'd been looking at the sites. She turned slowly and looked at Nicki, who was watching us with a look of dread on her face. It's amazing how red a young lady's face can turn in an embarrassing situation.
"Nicki," Irene started, and would probably have gone on to say a lot more if I hadn't interrupted.
"Let it go, Irene," I said firmly. "Nicki is eighteen and able to make her own decisions. You can see from the time stamps that she waited until the kids were in bed and asleep. You may not approve of her choice of sites but she was discreet about it."
Nicki was all apologies. Her main fear was that we might tell her parents about it. I waved that aside.
"Forget it, Nicki," I told her. "It's none of our business. We won't be yelling your mother."
At that point I gave Irene a firm look, indicating decision made and she would abide by it. She looked rebellious at first, but then must have remembered what Irene's mother was like. You might call her a sanctimonious, hypocritical prig, but only if you were feeling kindly towards her.
Irene still didn't want to let the subject go.
"But why watch it on your baby sitting jobs?" she asked. "Didn't you know you were bound to get caught?"
Nicki shrugged helplessly and I came to her aid. I could make a pretty good stab at her reasons.
"Ah, Irene, what do you think Shirley's attitude would be if she tried to watch anything like that at home? Remembering how you mildly disapprove of her doing it."
Enlightenment dawned. Shirley is Nicki's mother. Nicki would have had to have a death wish to watch porn if she was anywhere around. Irene still wasn't content though. Some women have to know everything, especially if it doesn't concern them.
"But I don't understand, Nicki. Why watch that sort of thing at all?"
Nicki just shrugged helplessly, not knowing how to explain. I sighed and stepped in again.
"Irene, consider the situation. Nicki is eighteen. She will soon be sexually active, if she's not already."
From the frantic shake of Nicki's head, the answer to that was no, she wasn't.
"I think you'll find that what Nicki is doing is the modern equivalent of self-help books. She doesn't want to be completely ignorant when the time comes. She has basically two ways of really learning about sex. Discuss it with her mother or look up some porn sites and actually see what happens. If you were her, which option would you choose?"
Irene sniggered at that.
"If I remember correctly, I chose a third option," she said.
I had to laugh at that. She had indeed. She'd crawled through my window one night and said, "Show me what to do." We weren't even engaged at the time, just good friends.
"I remember. Oh, boy, do I remember. But, somehow or other, I think you might get a little upset if Nicki took that option."
"Not really," said Irene, speaking thoughtfully. "It would really get up Shirley's nose if we did. I can't of a better reason for actually taking that path."
"Oh, really? And who do you have in mind to play the part that I originally played?"
"Well, you, of course," Irene said, giving me a "well, der" look. How could I not have guessed that?
I almost choked on the spot, not sure how serious Irene was being. Knowing her she might actually be completely serious, ready to offer my services to educate Nicki in matters sexual, just because she knew Shirley would go spare if she ever found out.
Not, I had to admit, that I had any objections. An eighteen year old blonde, virginal, with an excellent figure? Enough to give any man wet dreams.
"Not too fair on Nicki," I said. "If her mother ever found out. . ."
