I was feeling disgruntled. I'd recently turned eighteen and my boyfriend was pushing me to have sex with him. On the other hand my mother was warning me off having sex until I was older. On the third hand I had to admit my hormones were saying go for it. A quandry leading to the aforesaid disgruntlement.
Taking these one at a time I had no problem. I could control my hormones quite easily (I think). My mother's advice I'd take on board but remember the source. She might want me to abstain but she also wanted grandchildren. She couldn't have it both ways.
I was chewing my first problem over - my boyfriend. 'If you love me. You'll enjoy it. What harm is there? We're both adults.' He had a whole raft of arguments and the whole thing was wearing on my nerves. I reversed the 'if you love me' argument saying 'if you love me you'll wait', but it had no effect. He kept on pressing.
He'd been so demanding the last time we went out I was starting to wonder if he'd force the issue. That I certainly didn't want. He seemed to be all for instant gratification, my wishes be damned. I just couldn't trust him.
Just like that I had an epiphany. If I couldn't trust him then he was the wrong man for me. I felt highly relieved reaching that conclusion, an indication that it was the right one. I also decided to break it off via the phone. I suspected he might turn nasty in a face to face break up. Another clue to drop him now.
I subsequently called him and broke the news and he was furious. He tried cajoling me and then he turned nasty. I learnt some new language but I'm not a tight arsed bitch no matter what he said. He was definitely a mistake that was better behind me.
Of course, there's always something else.
"I heard you broke up with Timothy," my mother said as soon as I arrived home.
That was fast. It was only two hours since I gave him his conge.
"Yes. Who told you?"
"That's good. I never liked him. Shifty eyes. You can't trust a man with shifty eyes."
"You never said a word against him," I said surprised.
"If I had you'd have stuck up for him," she said dismissively. "Better for you to find out for yourself that he's not the one for you. Anyway, that means your date tonight is off and so you'll be available to babysit for Mr Anderson."
"Mother, I've given up babysitting?"
"Oh, have you? Well not tonight, you haven't. I've already accepted on your behalf. You're to be at his place at eight."
With that she turned and bustled away, not waiting around for me to argue the point. I was stuck with it.
I reluctantly fronted up at eight and was greeted by a happy and relieved Mr Anderson. The children are in bed, he said. They should stay there, he said. Little angels really, he said. He lied. As soon as his car left a little voice asked, "Has he gone?"
Five year olds have a lot of energy and these two seemed more rumbustious than most. They ran me ragged for another hour before finally succumbing to sleep. I was of the private opinion that Mrs Anderson probably died from exhaustion trying to keep up with them.
I was dead tired and wanted some sleep myself. I knew the couch in the family room converted into a bed. You pulled a lever on the side and then pull out the base and you had a nice spacious bed. I kicked off my shoes and went to sleep.
I had an erotic dream and I was tingling slightly when I woke. I could almost feel hands touching my breasts and not just my breasts. I gave a sigh of remembered pleasure and woke a little more.
I could still feel my lips being gently kissed and I automatically returned the kiss. My hand went to cover the hand I could feel caressing my breasts. Then I screamed and sat up fast as there was a hand there and it was not only caressing my breast but doing it inside my bra. Did you know that sitting up while someone has a handful of boob just presses said boob more firmly against that hand?
I was all what, what, what, and Mr Anderson was quietly laughing at me.
"Relax," he said. "No-one is going to hurt you."
He pressed his hand more firmly against me, causing me to lie back down. I registered that my blouse was undone and from the looseness of my bra that had also come unclipped.