Awareness

Awareness

This story, as is all stories, isn't written for everyone.

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*****

I saw Billy Ann yesterday at the drug store. She was wearing one of those tight skirts that molded to her backside and only went down to mid-thigh. She always wears clothes like that. I borrowed one from her once and tried it on. My bedroom door was hard locked. I didn't have anything else on but I pulled it up and put pants on to see if they were noticeable underneath. They were. I gave it back the next day and thanked her.

My mom never wears clothes like that so I don't either. I don't like tight clothes and I don't like short clothes. I asked daddy once if I was pretty. He said I was, of course, but he also said I was mysterious and he thought that was a nice quality for a girl. I didn't know exactly what he meant but I thought it was a nice thing to say. When I turned 18 my daddy gave me three new skirts and three new blouses. He also gave me a close hug that stayed with me for a couple of weeks. My mom gave me five new pair of pants and three new bras. The pants were much lighter than I usually wear and a fair bit smaller but they were underneath so, you know. I thought the bras were more streamlined too.

I work at the police station on Mondays and Tuesdays working non-emergency calls. I don't drive so dad drives me over and brings me home. He's teaching me to drive. When we started he said my skirt was too long and would interfere with the pedals. He had me pull it up and stuff it down in my center or under my thighs. When we drive around my bare legs are out for dad to see. I had to get used to that and him watching me stuffing my skirt down in my center and I've taken to tweaking myself a little while stuffing. He can't tell. There's enough privacy for that and mostly I get to do it before he gets in the car.

Mom said, "Rachel, Ms. Denard called. Something about an awareness program."

"Dr. Denard mom. I saw something about it and called over. What did she say?"

"She said she had an opening at the end of next week. What is an awareness program all about?"

"It's for kids my age. It's supposed to help with being personally aware of yourself, whatever that means. Doctors talk in metaphors. I looked it up. A psychological state in which oneself becomes the focus of their own behaviors and feelings. I heard the program was really great."

"Well, call her back."

When I called, Dr. Denard had some free time and asked if I could come over to discuss it so I got dad to take me.

Dr. Denard looks like a teenage high school kid. She's a little small and flighty but she's actually in her 30's and has a good reputation.

We were talking. She said, "Just so you know, the program is extraordinarily very private. It isn't a doctor's visit and there are no written or recorded notes. Usually all I ever know about an outcome is someone saying 'It was ok', and as much as I meddle in people's lives, not knowing drives me crazy."

Dr. Denard is neat. She gives lectures at school sometimes. I really like her.

She said, "The idea is to create mental conflicts and you learn by your actions and decisions. For this there will be three individuals that will interact with you, all wonderful people, very trustworthy, and none of them are pushy. The first is Harry, the second is Ben, and the third is Doug. The general theme is to create an atmosphere for you to work with. Usually a sexual atmosphere. It's much more pleasant than car crashes or personality clashes or things like that. No need to go negative just to be more aware and it's the smoothest and easiest path to create. Fun too."

She started to say something and I interrupted her and said, "How do they do that? Create that atmosphere."

"Mostly they just make it available. They work together. Harry is a masseur. He's given dozens, probably hundreds, of body massages to women of all ages so he's very familiar with us in an unrestricted way. No doubt he reads us like a book so he'll know what to do for what. By now he's probably quite impassionate about it. Ben is a calming presence. He's there to support the feelings Harry created and bring you loving comfort and let you float along.

"Doug is the guy you see on the other side of the street that you'd like to take to bed. He's sexy all over. Girls rip their pants off for him, or let him rip them off. He's hung and doesn't mind making it available. Getting your arms around his neck is the last thing you have to do. He'll take it from there. Inhibitions usually go out the window. He reads women very well. Do with Doug as you will. Remember, none of them are pushy."

"It's a bit confusing."

"It is. It's designed that way. Mixing it up in your mind."

"I'm not at all sure about any of this. When do I need to make a decision?"

"Now or at any time you want to. It's not a required thing. If you just want to kiss or hug each one of them a little bit then leave that's perfectly fine. Frankly I wouldn't mind a little of that. Maybe a little more. Harry's fingers on my skin sounds good, maybe on my thighs or stomach. Slipping my pants down and massaging around. Harry on one side and Ben on the other. A little interplay to see how they work together. Slip a hand down in their shorts. Maybe a nipple out. Then Doug. Sorry, I got carried away there."

I had a big smile but my face did get a little hot. She gave me the date and time and dad took me home. I didn't mind talking about sex with Dr. Denard but I wasn't going to discuss this with mom or dad. I was more active with myself through the weekend. The next Thursday I got ready. I wore all new clothes that mom and dad got me. I felt sexier with the pants and bra and they helped me get in the mood like Dr. Denard mentioned. My new skirt wasn't thick cloth like I usually wear but more like panties but you couldn't see through them.

I really wanted this to work in my favor. I knew things were getting different. When I turned 18 I started to have some little play times with myself. Nobody at home or school noticed any difference in me. I did have to rush downstairs to dinner once but I sprayed in my pants so mom or dad didn't know. I thought the awareness program would, you know. I couldn't see any reason for Doug. He sounded like a little sex pot to see what I would do. I expected Harry and Ben, or just Harry, to tweak me to get me excited. Whatever.

Dad took me over. Dr. Denard's receptionist took me to a room. There were no windows and there were plants almost everywhere with wonderful scents. The lighting was low and it was warm. There were several very wide beach type loungers with the backs raised up with plush pads. They were almost a square, like 5 or 6 feet wide. Soft music was playing. She showed me where everything was and said absolutely no one would disturb us. No one else was there.

The light was low with just a small bulb behind the loungers. I settled down in one with my feet out straight and my back up at an angle. There were some magazines so I got one. It was a catalog of bikinis and underwear, men and women. I liked some of them but I've never worn any. Maybe my new pants mom got me. I know they used to air-brush these pictures but they don't seem to bother anymore. Some of them were very interesting. The door opened and a man about my height came in. He wasn't thin and wasn't fat. He was smiling.

He said, "Hi. You must be Rachel. I'm Harry."

"Hi Harry. Yep, I'm Rachel."

He sat right down on the side of the lounger next to me. He had on a loose t-shirt with little holes in it and mid-thigh exercise shorts. He had mild muscles, somewhat defined, shoulders and arms. He was really good looking. I liked him right away. He leaned over and kissed me right on the lips and kept smiling.

"That's my opening gesture to get us off in the right direction. I assume Dr. Denard explained the theme."

"Yes, sexual atmosphere. Is that what you're going to do?"

"Try to do. Try to do. She likes me for this because I spend a lot of time massaging women. Breasts, nipples, vulvas, buns, butt cracks, and everything in between."

He was smiling delightfully and holding my hand.

"I'm supposed to traipse around with my fingers so you get excited and please remember a masseur doesn't massage clothes, just skin. Dr. Denard is convinced it doesn't affect me but I'm always affected to some extent. Hopefully it'll affect you more but it should be a nice time. I'll go slowly so each thing feels wonderful. We can work together. Ben will join us at some point and you'll have both of us for a little while. He's a great distraction and it gives me a chance to elevate your excitement while you're busy with Ben. We have plenty of time."

"Ok. I'm a little nervous. When do we start?"

"I'm ready. Nobody will disturb us except Ben and Doug. I'll turn the light out so it's complete dark. Nobody can see anything so you aren't embarrassed."

Harry turned out the light behind us and it was instantly completely dark. No light, nothing anywhere even under the door. We kept up a little dialog getting comfortable. Harry got on beside me and slipped an arm behind my back. In a few moments he was moving his fingertips around. I guess it was habit.

His other hand went under my arm and moved up. My arm naturally went around his neck as did my other arm and we simply melted into an open lip kiss. I hadn't planned an open lip kiss but I did it. We kept kissing for the longest time and his arm slid down my side to my hip and back up a little.

He said, "Your blouse is out of your skirt so it'll be much easier to get my fingers on your waist. Thank you. I think I'll start with the top of your feet and ankles and calves and knees. The back of the knees are great pleasure points."

I was turned into Harry a little bit and I guess I slipped down a little but it was very comfortable and I was enjoying his antics more than I thought. I felt his fingers at my feet. He took my shoes off. I didn't have any socks on and he started fingering the top of my feet and ankles. We sort of morphed into tonguing. That was new and the first time caught me unawares and I absolutely got a turn-on from that. My breasts were a little squashed against him by the time he started up my legs. It didn't take long to get to my knees and I could feel my skirt being pulled up when his arm moved up.

I was getting turned on. When he finished with the back of one knee and went to the other he pushed his hand down between my knees and my legs came open but just enough for his hand. Just a few inches. He started telling me about something while his fingers went up between my thighs on the inside. My breathing changed and my butt pulled tight. That was erotic. When he got up high I felt him touch my pants, right about at my vagina. He went down a little and slowly back up and touched them again at the same place. I was actually comfortable with Harry. It seemed more academic than sexual.

He said, "It's kind of strange touching someone's vulva with pants on. It's usually bare. I rub my hand right down the center and my fingers on both sides of the hood and ridges then squeeze them together. I usually do each area 200 times, I mean over the whole body. I use warm body oil so it's all very smooth but I'll coat some things later with a scented lube."

"Do you ever play with some one?"

"Not specifically unless I'm asked."

"Does anyone ever ask?"

"About 25 percent. Sometimes they need a little more attention. It's normal."

Harry was back at my pants again, up my front to my stomach. That was a trip right there. I thought about the awareness thing. I was getting really aware. I didn't know what I would do if I started to have an orgasm. I wasn't used to this except for when I caused it. He went under my middle to my buns with his wrist pressing fully into me and my legs were more open. I could really feel it. His other hand in back was up under my blouse at my bra. He didn't get inside my pants yet but I expected him to, or take them off. He doesn't massage clothes.

Harry said, "Would you like some sex things to think about?"

He kissed me and when we finished I said, "Sure."

He said, "Ben has a very short penis, just long enough to get the head in but he can't reach a g-spot. He's bigger around than me. Mine is very small, just over an inch but I'm longer than normal. Doug is superman."

While he was talking he was pulling the sides of my pants down. Not that much. My skirt was covering everything. He got them about half way down my buns then he left them there. They stayed tight up in my crotch. I could feel his fingers on my pubes. It seemed like we've been here forever but all this hadn't taken much time at all. I already figured he was going to rub into my vulva and decided to let him. I knew he was using me to excite myself, fastest way. It wouldn't kill me and I was really getting to like it. Better than me at home.

The next time we kissed his fingers went into my pants right at my sweet spot. He pulled them downward out of my crotch and he had all kinds of room. He squeezed my ridges together right at my vagina in a slow rhythm, over and over. I could feel my bunched up skin putting pressure against my vagina nerves each time. I moaned past his tongue and kissed him harder. I was in a wonderful sexual euphoria. He had my bra undone too. We kept kissing with lots of tongue slipping in and out between our lips.

He let me calm down a little and said, "We should let the back almost down. There are nice pillows. Very comfortable."

I still had my arms around his neck and my head against his. I wasn't a wreck yet but wow. I nodded ok again, against his cheek. In total dark like this it was like 'why not'.

"When Ben gets here you can turn over towards him. He'll feel like he's almost making love to you above your waist. It'll actually be more floating along wise. I'll loosely spoon. If you feel me you can push and we'll work like that for a while. Ben won't mind and we can go on as long as we want. You'll love Ben. He has a very long tongue. Don't tell him what I said about his dick being short. If you like reach down and play with it. He'll be thrilled."

I said, "Ok."

Harry unbuttoned my blouse while he was talking and pulled it open. My stomach was out and my bra too. He took off his top. He pulled at my back and I sat up and he reached over and I heard a small motor and I felt the back recline almost all the way down. I reached back and felt a pillow slide in place. Harry slipped my blouse off and my bra. I never once thought I would be topless here with a topless man on a kind of bed.

We lay down and Harry got around my waist again and we pressed in and kissed, this time in a more serious sexual state. I wasn't uncomfortable with it. It was dark and he couldn't see anything and he's done this a lot. My bare breasts and nipples rubbed all over his chest. I felt him unbutton my skirt and unzip the back, a few inches down, but he didn't take it off.

He said, "It's easier than pulling the skirt up. You may have an orgasm, it's perfectly natural. Ben always brings a little Silver Bullet. It'll be new but well cleaned with alcohol. I can pay more attention to your needs and he can use it on your clit if it's ok. Very soft vibrations until you need more. Both together should be really sensuous. You seem to be enjoying everything. You respond wonderfully. You're very sexy and keep surprising me. I'm as hard as a rock and it doesn't seem to go down. That doesn't usually happen even when I'm working massaging."

The door opened and someone came in the room. Probably Ben. No light leaked in. A tiny red spot appeared on the floor and started ranging left and right. It didn't disturb the darkness.

Harry said, "We're over here. Right here. This way."

Harry took my skirt off while Ben was finding us. I heard him come around the lounger while Harry was talking. He sat down and I felt his hand on the top of my head then on my cheek then he kissed me with a tongue.

"Hi," he said. "I'm Ben. Hi Harry."

"Hi. I thought Rachel might enjoy being sandwiched between two sexy men for a little while."

"Glad to help. No hurry, it's early yet."

He felt around, me and the lounger, then he took my hand and lay back on the pillow and pulled me down. I wound up facing him like Harry said. He moved in a little closer and my nipples brushed his chest. It was bare. I didn't have anything on above the waist. Harry didn't either.

Ben said, "I'm glad things are going smoothly. Harry is something isn't he? I wish I could do what he does."

Before I could answer we were in a really passionate kiss. He had both arms around me but higher on my back pulling me in but not hard. I mostly floated into him. Our middles didn't get together but we did from my waist up. Ben moved a hand around to my breasts and nipples just as I felt Harry start pulling my pants down and off. I hardly had to move. Ben bent down and got his lips around one of my nipples and he pulled my knees up into his stomach. I pushed myself backwards and Harry got my hips and pulled and I went back and up more.

Harry had a hand under my crotch. I lifted a leg a little but not enough to notice. He was squeezing my pussy lips again like before, over and over. He pulled slightly and I pushed back again. I was less jammed into Ben's stomach. Harry was getting my pussy out clear in back and higher. I was out at a slant from Ben. I was almost out of it with Ben on my nipples and Harry playing with my pussy. I reached back and Harry didn't have any pants on. I accidentally felt his balls.

I slipped my hand down Ben's back and his butt was bare. He was still on my breasts and he had his fingers down between my thighs playing with my pubes. The feelings from my breasts were really good not to mention him being so close to my clit. Harry was pressing under my butt with his knees up under mine. He was still slowly squeezing my outer lips at my pussy again. Ben pulled his hand out from between my legs only to reach down again after a couple of moments. I think he had the silver bullet. I had one at home and loved using it. It turned on pressed into my pubes and slowly slid down.

Ben said, "Just whisper where you want it."

I felt Harry pulling my pussy open and closed again. He rubbed me all up and down with his finger. The lube I guess.

I said, "Down to the bottom of my hood please."

He slid it down and the vibs started spreading down in. It wasn't too fast and felt wonderful. I could do this with Ben a lot. Harry moved around some more and I felt his dick down there and my breath caught. Wow. That was a moment. I stuck my tongue between Ben's lips a few times. Nothing was fast but very comfortable. It seemed like casually playing with each one of them kind of thing, about what I do in bed by myself.

I reached down for Ben's dick. It was actually short, maybe a lot, but he was substantial around. I got my fingers around it. He had foreskin and I started playing. Balls and all. Harry's dick was playing with me near where Ben had the bullet. He stuck a finger in between my ridges at my vagina and squeezed over it and kept squeezing off and on like before. I was moving my hips forward and backward on the silver bullet and it was pushing against Harry's finger and it started going in.

I was really feeling the bullet even as slow as it was going and Harry started lifting his hips each time he squeezed. He had his other hand playing with my ass button. I was playing with Ben's dick when I realized Harry was fucking me. I kept pushing but went downward more. Ben turned up the vibration a little more. He was playing with both of my nipples and breasts and we were fucking each other's mouth with our tongues. I never once worried about being fucked. It seemed like the most natural thing to do.