Awareness
This story, as is all stories, isn't written for everyone.
If you enjoyed it, thank you very much and you're welcome.
If not, thank you for visiting.
*****
I saw Billy Ann yesterday at the drug store. She was wearing one of those tight skirts that molded to her backside and only went down to mid-thigh. She always wears clothes like that. I borrowed one from her once and tried it on. My bedroom door was hard locked. I didn't have anything else on but I pulled it up and put pants on to see if they were noticeable underneath. They were. I gave it back the next day and thanked her.
My mom never wears clothes like that so I don't either. I don't like tight clothes and I don't like short clothes. I asked daddy once if I was pretty. He said I was, of course, but he also said I was mysterious and he thought that was a nice quality for a girl. I didn't know exactly what he meant but I thought it was a nice thing to say. When I turned 18 my daddy gave me three new skirts and three new blouses. He also gave me a close hug that stayed with me for a couple of weeks. My mom gave me five new pair of pants and three new bras. The pants were much lighter than I usually wear and a fair bit smaller but they were underneath so, you know. I thought the bras were more streamlined too.
I work at the police station on Mondays and Tuesdays working non-emergency calls. I don't drive so dad drives me over and brings me home. He's teaching me to drive. When we started he said my skirt was too long and would interfere with the pedals. He had me pull it up and stuff it down in my center or under my thighs. When we drive around my bare legs are out for dad to see. I had to get used to that and him watching me stuffing my skirt down in my center and I've taken to tweaking myself a little while stuffing. He can't tell. There's enough privacy for that and mostly I get to do it before he gets in the car.
Mom said, "Rachel, Ms. Denard called. Something about an awareness program."
"Dr. Denard mom. I saw something about it and called over. What did she say?"
"She said she had an opening at the end of next week. What is an awareness program all about?"
"It's for kids my age. It's supposed to help with being personally aware of yourself, whatever that means. Doctors talk in metaphors. I looked it up. A psychological state in which oneself becomes the focus of their own behaviors and feelings. I heard the program was really great."
"Well, call her back."
When I called, Dr. Denard had some free time and asked if I could come over to discuss it so I got dad to take me.
Dr. Denard looks like a teenage high school kid. She's a little small and flighty but she's actually in her 30's and has a good reputation.
We were talking. She said, "Just so you know, the program is extraordinarily very private. It isn't a doctor's visit and there are no written or recorded notes. Usually all I ever know about an outcome is someone saying 'It was ok', and as much as I meddle in people's lives, not knowing drives me crazy."
Dr. Denard is neat. She gives lectures at school sometimes. I really like her.
She said, "The idea is to create mental conflicts and you learn by your actions and decisions. For this there will be three individuals that will interact with you, all wonderful people, very trustworthy, and none of them are pushy. The first is Harry, the second is Ben, and the third is Doug. The general theme is to create an atmosphere for you to work with. Usually a sexual atmosphere. It's much more pleasant than car crashes or personality clashes or things like that. No need to go negative just to be more aware and it's the smoothest and easiest path to create. Fun too."
She started to say something and I interrupted her and said, "How do they do that? Create that atmosphere."
"Mostly they just make it available. They work together. Harry is a masseur. He's given dozens, probably hundreds, of body massages to women of all ages so he's very familiar with us in an unrestricted way. No doubt he reads us like a book so he'll know what to do for what. By now he's probably quite impassionate about it. Ben is a calming presence. He's there to support the feelings Harry created and bring you loving comfort and let you float along.
"Doug is the guy you see on the other side of the street that you'd like to take to bed. He's sexy all over. Girls rip their pants off for him, or let him rip them off. He's hung and doesn't mind making it available. Getting your arms around his neck is the last thing you have to do. He'll take it from there. Inhibitions usually go out the window. He reads women very well. Do with Doug as you will. Remember, none of them are pushy."
"It's a bit confusing."
"It is. It's designed that way. Mixing it up in your mind."
"I'm not at all sure about any of this. When do I need to make a decision?"
"Now or at any time you want to. It's not a required thing. If you just want to kiss or hug each one of them a little bit then leave that's perfectly fine. Frankly I wouldn't mind a little of that. Maybe a little more. Harry's fingers on my skin sounds good, maybe on my thighs or stomach. Slipping my pants down and massaging around. Harry on one side and Ben on the other. A little interplay to see how they work together. Slip a hand down in their shorts. Maybe a nipple out. Then Doug. Sorry, I got carried away there."
I had a big smile but my face did get a little hot. She gave me the date and time and dad took me home. I didn't mind talking about sex with Dr. Denard but I wasn't going to discuss this with mom or dad. I was more active with myself through the weekend. The next Thursday I got ready. I wore all new clothes that mom and dad got me. I felt sexier with the pants and bra and they helped me get in the mood like Dr. Denard mentioned. My new skirt wasn't thick cloth like I usually wear but more like panties but you couldn't see through them.